Not Well

I have not been feeling very well…

It started with a normal run-of-the-mill cold. Keirnan started it, I finished it with a bang! I was through, what I thought, was the worst of it. I spent an entire day with a throbbing migraine, the worst I think I’ve ever had in my adult life. The tylenol made me throw up and after sleeping it off, I woke up and felt a little bit better. A day of not eating and drinking nothing but Ginger Ale seemed effective and the next day, I was back to my basically regular self, just with a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough.

Fast forward a few days to yesterday. I woke up with this pain in my temple. The first two hours awake, it was just a little “Ouch, that hurts”. Then suddenly, it was like an entire bulldozing party was making it’s way through my frontal lobe, and I spent the rest of the day half in and out of sleep on the couch, refusing to open my eyes for longer than a second or two.

Even when we did go to bed, it took me a long time to finally fall asleep because every way I turned seemed to heighten the pounding between my ears. I rubbed every part of my face trying to ease the pain, but nothing was helping at all. When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had a terrible hangover.

The day went by with mostly just that hungover type of feeling. Kind of groggy and my stomach keeps feeling like I’m about to go on stage – perpetual butterflies. Suddenly, my back decides it’s the perfect time to start being the biggest douche. As I’m cooking dinner, it’s just getting worse and worse. I beg The Boyfriend to rub my back and he happily obliges. It seems to soothe the ache… But only briefly.

Dinner’s done. I decide I’ve had enough of this pain, maybe a hot bath will help. The water felt good, really good. I stretched, I floated, but I could still only feel the searing pain in my back. The bath didn’t help at all. Sure, it felt good, but it did nothing to extinguish this horrible tightening in my back, nothing at all.

I’ve now been out of the bath for 30 minutes and every ounce of help it caused is now dissapating fast. I want to know what the heck is going on inside of my body and I want to tell the little minions inside of me to stop waging war, I’ll give them whatever it is that they want, I surrender! Apparently, that is getting me nowhere.

I need to just seriously suck it up and go see a doctor. I’ve been saying it for months, maybe even years now. I don’t know why exactly that I haven’t. There’s probably a whole bunch of different reasons really, but I can’t know what the heck is going on if I don’t eventually go see a doctor.

I’ve got a butt ton of online work that I’m supposed to be spending these days doing, but my body is not allowing it at all. I’ve gotten a bunch done, but there’s still just so much left to do, and I’m kind of freaking out a little bit about it. I wish sometimes that I could just snap my fingers and wham! Everything that needed to get done would get done. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that and so, if I want to get stuff done, I just have to suck it up and get it done. So easy to say, so hard to do…

One thing is for sure. I definitely like only having to take care of one kid when I’m sick as opposed to four – I may be sick as a dog, but at least I’m not unnecessarily exhausted.

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