What is with guys and anal sex?!?

I’ll never understand it. I know that it’s mostly because I don’t have a penis and can’t know the difference in sensations between anal and vaginal penetration. But I just can’t wrap my brain around it.

I could understand if I had a really hot ass, but I don’t. I’m not saying it’s not a hot ass, but I wouldn’t look at it and immediately think, “Oh, that’s fuckable!”. It’s the one area of my body that is just kinda super meh. Pre-fourth kid it was a really great ass, now it just desires to be.

But this doesn’t seem to matter and never has.

I have never ever been with a guy who isn’t utterly obsessed with the idea of anal. My first boyfriend, who was literally my first everything, was very interested in it. However, when we discovered that it hurt me, we both became more interested in anal penetration for him. My second boyfriend, and the father of my older three kids, could not get enough of the idea of it. We tried many, many times but I was always in the wrong headspace for it, so it always ended up hurting really bad. However, this didn’t stop him from trying at all.

Finally, The Boyfriend… He was the first one to have successful anal. Our first anal session still goes down to this day as one our most memorable sexperiences together. And since that first time, there has been about four more successful sessions. That being said, there’s been quite a few more failed attempts.

I had wanted to be an anal whore pretty badly as I emerged sexually. The very first porn I ever watched was titled something like “Anal Exploration” and I desperately wanted to do “that“. But anal is just one of those ones that I like thinking about more than I like doing. No matter how often I try, no matter what we do to change it, more often than not, I don’t enjoy anal sex.

I’ve always been the girl that wants to fulfill his every fantasy, so I pride myself on being incredibly open to sexplorations. I’m also the girl who receives a great deal of pleasure from my partner’s pleasure. I will do a lot of things that I don’t necessarily enjoy simply because he does. Anal sex is one of those things. For some reason, guys really seem to get off on anal sex. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, I don’t understand – I just know that they do.

I know that they do, because no matter how many times we’re all hot and heavy and he goes for anal and I turn him down and the hot and heavy cools off to a chilling degree, no matter how many times that scenario plays out, he still tries like he was never denied.

Honestly, I can’t say I hate the persistence. But seriously, what is with guys and anal sex?!?

8 thoughts on “What is with guys and anal sex?!?

  1. autosoma says:

    Because it feels different, much in the same way that oral feels different to vaginal, all three can be very unpleasant if done wrong, all three can be fun if done well and by that I mean how the fella uses his penis rather than how a woman receives it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I asked a guy once. He said it’s more the thought that it is something they aren’t supposed to be doing and you are letting them do it, than the difference in feeling. It’s also a dominance thing. You are being totally submissive and trusting them fully with something that not very many people, if any other people at all, ever get. Its a part of you mentally and physically that is off limits, but you are letting them in. Again, mentally and physically.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I agree that it’s more a mental thing. Doing something naughty. More specifically, seeing my partner doing something naughty and enjoying it.

    My advice: if he’s asking you for anal a lot, ask to turn the tables and he should let you peg him instead.

    If he’s mentally open to the idea, he’ll physically enjoy it just as much – maybe more!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some seriously interesting thoughts and thank you all for leaving them!!

    @hopelesslyhopeful16 – I wonder if most men put that much thought into it (just joking… haha). I can most definitely appreciate the idea of the taboo and breaking that barrier being a huge part of the appeal. I like the way you’ve defined both the physical and mental aspects of it, although I think @autosoma makes a great point about the difference in feeling.

    The Boyfriend often responds to my interrogations about why he enjoys it by saying “It just feels different”, although can in no way expand upon that. Maybe by different, they’re also describing the complexities you describe mentally and physically, just without the eloquence.

    @Sean Breer – First of all, loved the posts I got through on your blog. Totally adding you to my reader, so thank you for that!! Thank you also for your advice and it’s definitely not out of the realm of things. Although we haven’t full-out pegged, anal play for both of us is essentially a requirement. I’ve had a rule my whole life that if you want to do it to me, I get to do it to you, because (a) Karma’s a bitch and (b) So that you know what it’s going to feel like. I believe you talk about that a little bit in the post you mentioned (read it if you haven’t!).

    Thank you all again for your thoughts on guys and anal sex.


  5. There are plenty of women who love anal, and they’re not all straight, either, so it’s not a “guy issue.” I know there are people who would read your words and think you’re just not doing it right (or your man’s not doing it right), but that’s just another kind of projection as well. People like what they like. The way you put the question in your headline almost makes it seem as if no woman likes or should like it, and I don’t think that’s fair.


    Liked by 1 person

    • I definitely do not mean that women cannot like anal sex. I’m not saying anything negative against anal sex either, because I have nothing against anal sex.

      I am a woman who desperately wants to enjoy anal sex and am more disappointed in my own limitations than in men. I guess the more accurate title for this post would be something along the lines of “Why can’t I like what I want to like?” or “I wish I had his persistence…”, because ultimately that is what this post is about more than it is about guys and anal sex – although if we’re just reading headlines and not content, you take what you take and it’s all perspective…

      In terms of not doing it right or my man’s not doing it right, we have gone all through every resource available to us and tested and tried just about every method. Sometimes, it works. More often than not, my brain is the biggest barrier. The moment my brain becomes involved in the body stuff, experiences are often halted or slowed to glacial speed. I can get easily caught up in my thoughts and that is often the biggest deterrent to my own pleasure. The only way to get over that hump is patience and persistence, something The Boyfriend has plenty of and I am sorely lacking in.

      Thanks so much for leaving your thoughts @brycecalderwood 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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