10 Times My Kids Were Hilarious!

Over the years on social media, I have tracked various funny or quirky things that my kids have said. Tonight, I was going through old Facebook and Twitter posts and among a variety of great gems (like this shot), I found some seriously funny things.

So, I thought it would be fun to share with you 10 times that my kids made me laugh out loud.

  1. Not Sure What “Dagged” Means

  2. Don’t Mess With the Bacon

  3. For When Barbie Goes Ziplining

  4. I Keep Saying “Definition of Insanity”…

  5. Turn on the Lights

  6. Kids, Dating and Breakups

  7. Sprite or Water on the Face

  8. He Claims “I Help!”

  9. A Variation of “Who’s on First”

  10. Exciting Attitude Girl

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This is my brain on graveyards…

On one hand, adjusting to graveyards has been exceptionally easy. It fits mine and The Boyfriend’s sleep schedule better, it works out for the way we typically manage to spend our days anyways, and on many levels it just seems to fit.

However, on the other hand, I’ve done a lot of staring. I’ve done a lot of mind-numbing type activities. I’ve done a lot of not thinking. And I’ve been avoiding doing anything that involves using my brain – unless you count shooting random people on GTA or making the same dish over and over in some random online game.

A huge portion of my days are spent sleeping. Then almost as soon as I wake up, it’s Netflix. I spend the rest of the night with Netflix on in the background and I’m playing games on my computer – namely Hotel Giant 2, The Sims 4 and Youda Sushi Chef 2. I hate that I’m doing it the entire time that I’m doing it, but I just don’t have the capacity to do anything else.

I figure this is just part of the adjustment to graveyards and that soon, The Boyfriend and I will figure out exactly how the new routine will work so that I can get back to all my stuff. Because I have been absolutely neglecting everything. It started with just computer-related stuff and I was still keeping up with stuff like Twitter and Facebook, which I check from my phone. But now, it’s nothing. I just don’t even consider it. And my brain just doesn’t go there.

It’s also been two weeks now since I last got laid, so that may be part of my lack of anything productive. I’ve always said that after three days, I tend to get really bitchy. I haven’t gotten bitchy yet and oddly enough, I haven’t even really been all that crazy for sex (which is just so unlike me…). Again, I’m blaming it on graveyards.

Yet another excuse (haha!), our crappy crappy Alberta weather. Have I ever told you how much I absolutely hate it?!?

We went through first winter and it was a relatively decent winter. Then, we went through second winter (which is a normal and usual occurrence), and it was a little rougher than first winter. Then, we were breaking into spring. Still cold but the snow was beginning to melt and all Albertans took their annual sigh of relief. Then, suddenly and without any warning, we were struck with third winter. We hate third winter more than any of the other winters, because it utterly robs you of any hope you had of visiting the beach that year!

So, just as we are all completely robbed of hope and utterly destroyed, suddenly and swiftly, we have a day that rivals the best summer days available in this dreary city. The ice cream truck made it’s first trip of the year down our street – though it was only recognized by one of our children, even though three of them were outside (oddity). Today, we awoke to gray skies and brisk wind bustling the leaves that have yet to turn green.

Crappy, crappy Alberta weather. It’s unpredictable, it’s unsatisfying, it’s unhealthy…

I keep telling everyone I want to move to Denmark. It’s one of the highest ranked countries for happiness, it sounds like a place that I would love, and I read the other day that the average highs are around seventeen degree celsius and lows are around one degree. And that they have lots of rain – and rain is my favorite weather! No one except for me is down to move to Denmark and so I dream…

The Last Week…

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last wrote… It’s not for lack of things to write about or even a lack of desire to write about them, I just haven’t had a chance to get on my computer at all this last week. And then when I have had the chance, it’s the very last thing I’ve wanted to do.

This last week has been incredibly stressful. First, The Boyfriend went back to work after having a week off and he’s officially back on graveyards. I cannot tell you how mixed my emotions surrounding this have been. Then, we had our bi-annual inspection today and that always brings me more stress than is necessary.

I’ve spent the last week in a total and exhausting funk. And we knew that it was going to happen, as it almost always does during inspection time, and I warned The Boyfriend ahead of time. Unfortunately, the first week back on graveyards is always all consuming and so there was a definite feeling of lacking support this week that just made everything so much worse than usual.

Kaeidyn and I were trading off the stress about the inspection for the entire week. One minute I’d be all worked up and then just as I’d start to calm, she’d get all worked up and we just kept going back and forth like that constantly.

Our house got incredibly cleaned, which is the good thing out of all of it. Our floor finally got the mopping it was desperately craving, the snow melted enough that we were able to clean up most of the yard and we’ve decided that eventually we’re doing a big dump of all the clothes that we’ve managed to amass in our basement – most of which have been in the basement for months…

I was so upset last night. I was up late finishing up the last little bits of cleaning before inspection day and all of a sudden I hear a sound. Next thing I know, Kenzie’s puking all over all the cleaning I had just finished. Today, all the boys had upset stomachs and headaches. I hate when they all get sick all at once, because it’s always that much more overwhelming. Although it’s nice that it’s over and done with quicker.

I’ve been neglecting all my computer-related stuff for the last week and haven’t even checked in on most of it, other than the notifications I get on my phone. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and I’ve decided that I really want to change my blog theme and update it a little and stuff. I feel like it needs it or something. But I imagine it will take a few days before I make an official decision and then it will take a week or two to get it all changed and set up the way I like. But I’m thinking about it…

I’ve also been spending some time reading through my blogs from four or five years ago and it’s giving me some ideas for posts in the future and some other stuff, so I imagine that’s going to be an interesting little thing to explore as I get re-acquainted with my computer, now that my funk can be over for a little bit now.

Ranting About Sleep and Blogging

I seriously need to put an end to this crazy sleep schedule The Boyfriend and I are currently on. As I write this post, it is 4 AM in the morning. I woke up at 1 PM yesterday and haven’t slept yet and at the rate we’re going, it doesn’t look like we’re going to sleep for a bit yet.

For him, it makes sense. He’s gearing up for graveyards, he’s on holidays. But me… I mean, yes, I am a total night owl but this is just not natural…

It doesn’t help that all my creative energy decides to start flowing best after 2 AM and it doesn’t help that late at night is the only time that there aren’t a bunch of kids making a bunch of noise and it definitely doesn’t help that The Boyfriend and I can so easily go on for hours and hours and hours after what should reasonably be our bedtime.

At least when I stay up late like this, it’s not like I’m just sitting around doing nothing. I’m getting tons and tons and tons done. I’m getting so much done online that it’s a little bit ridiculous. I’m checking things off my virtual to-do list before they even make it on there. And I wish I could say that it felt good, but I just keep thinking I’m forgetting something and I definitely keep thinking I should be doing more.

Then I kick myself in the ass for even beginning to think like that. I told myself I wouldn’t. It always happens this way too. I spend a lot of time on my computer stuff. The things that I absolutely need to get done on the computer, such as The Erotic Writers Group’s #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, can sometimes take me up to six hours and that happens at least twice a week, not to mention the good two hours I spend every day on it. And I haven’t even begun to factor in my own personal blogging goals, which always come secondary to the group.

So I start to think that I’m working a full-time job here, I should start figuring out how to monetize it in some way, especially being that there is so much that I still want to do and so much of it requires money. I should host a Kickstarter campaign, I should sell eBooks, I should make products and use affiliate links and… and… and…

And then I remember, that is exactly why I took my last blogging hiatus and every blogging hiatus I’ve ever taken. It’s too much pressure, too much to think about, too much on top of everything else.

One day, I’ll have a team of people who will help me fundraise and help me sell books and blah blah blah, but for today, I just need to focus on the content, focus on the community, focus on the blogging and forget about all the other stuff.

Time for the Neglect to End!

I have been neglecting The Erotic Writers Group and our #WritingChallenges for two weeks now. I hate it and I’m ready for the neglect to end!

I’m blaming it on a few different things. First, the massive amount of graveyard shifts The Boyfriend has been working lately. I think he’s up to four so far. I guess it’s part of preparing him for full-time graveyards or something, since he’ll be going to that sometime near his birthday. I cannot tell you how unhappy I am about it and yet, how happy I am for him about it.

I know he really liked working graveyards. He also seemed to be able to progress through the ranks faster when he was working graveyards, whereas on days, he’s been stuck for a really long time. I know that for him, graveyards is a better deal. So, I’m happy for him but I’m dreading the whole graveyard thing…

It screws with my sleep so much. I stay up later on nights before he works, getting ready for the shift with him. I sleep later because as long as he’s still in bed, I stay in bed. I need to get to a place where I can just carry on as if he’s not working graveyards… Maybe that will come after the first 3 months or so…

I’ve also been busy offline, trying to keep the house clean. It is not being an easy task at all. Now that we’re cleaning more often it seems like the house is getting dirtier so much faster. It’s truly exhausting and I have officially decided that when I win the lottery (after I start playing), my first mission is to get a housemaid, because I’d like to retire from the duty of cleaning altogether.

I made the boys cleaning out the toy box yesterday and you cannot believe how much that seemed to cheer me up. Getting rid of all the broken and mismatched toys was just about the best thing ever. However, now they’ve discovered toys they haven’t seen in months from the bottom of the toybox and so toys are strewn everywhere right now. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s one of those ones that you end up being grateful for.

So, my goal this weekend is to get back to our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, complete a project that I’ve been working on for about a week (and that I’m keeping mum about it until it’s done) and keep my living room clean for the whole weekend! Plus, I’ve got dinner down at my Mom’s, where I plan to play guitar for at least 2 hours. So, YAY for the weekend!!

Anyone got any big plans for Valentine’s Day?

Drained…

The last few days have not been very good. I’m blaming it on PMS, because I can and because it’s the only reason I can think that just suddenly, out-of-nowhere, I’m hit with this utterly drained of life feeling.

I woke up one day, just not feeling like myself. I was feeling pretty down about everything and tears kept coming to my eyes over the stupidest little things. I was getting easily upset by the little things that the kids were doing and just being so moody. And then, it just seemed to get worse.

That was about three days ago and I just can’t shake this drained type of feeling. I can’t say what particular emotion it is exactly, because it doesn’t really feel like one. I feel like I’m really old. My body has been hurting a lot and I know that it’s because my brain is hurting somewhere.

I don’t know where it spurred from, but I just started looking at all the areas of my life in which I feel like I’m failing. And it seems like every few months, this list grows exponentially. And then I get incredibly overwhelmed by the list and this whole thing happens.

I’ve been experimenting with things that will rid me of this feeling. First and foremost, decluttering my online space. This probably attributed to the beginning of the downward spiral but ultimately, I think it will beneficial. The last time I tried to declutter my online space, I basically gave up and left a lot of loose ends all over the place. I had been defeated. This time, I’m determined not to be defeated.

In some cases, this means trying to clear up stuff on the web from over five years ago and I can hardly remember yesterday. It’s been a frustrating experience to say the least, although the more I get done, the better it feels. However, until it’s done, I just can’t seem to focus on anything.

So, that’s where I’m at. Unable to hold my focus, feeling sore, feeling old, and just a little worn out…

 

It’s Slowing Down…

I knew that my streak of productive days would come to a crashing halt eventually. It lasted longer than I expected it to and it’s not even that I’m not being as productive, it’s just not being as focused on being productive.

I missed a post this week. I didn’t realize it until the next day. I have all these reminders set all over the place and somehow I ended up missing this one entirely. It was the first sign that something was up, because I hadn’t needed any of the reminders I had set up until right then!

Then, I cleaned the house. The kids and I worked for at least 2 hours on cleaning. Since no one could agree on what they wanted to do for jobs, we drew them from a hat and each kid got a specific job. That resulted in a lot of tears and the whole time Keirnan cleaned up the small mess in the bathroom, he whined and whined. All in all, they did a really great job. One thing that I’m noticing about keeping my house cleaner is that it seems like it gets dirtier so much faster.

I decided today to start clearing up my browser. I use Chrome and lately all my bookmarks and extensions are becoming a terrible mess. At some point, I had two different accounts connected and it’s got stuff from both accounts and it’s just a confusing jumble of stuff. I have my most used stuff out front and center, but there is a whole host of disorganization upon further inspection.

However, clearing up my browser and making it so that it’s all pretty and organized turned into a traumatic experience that I am quickly trying to forget, because it just makes me want to throw my hands up. I discovered accounts I had forgotten that I had and emails that I no longer know the passwords to and just ugh… Darn me for having so many fleeting interests over the years!

I also spoilt myself a little with some game stuff. I bought the new “game pack” for The Sims 4 and although I played for a couple hours earlier today, never actually got around to trying it out. Then, got some other game points and bought myself Hotel Giant 2, which I have been wasting a large amount of time on, as I knew I would when I bought it. I figure the kids and The Boyfriend have been gaming it up a lot lately, I might as well join that.

Other than that, this past week has been mostly boring. I’ve felt like I’m lagging a lot. My sleep feels like it’s all out of whack, even though I can’t figure out how exactly. I’m hoping that as it turns into spring and the sun starts setting and rising at a normal hour that my sleep will start to straighten out a little bit. Too much longer of this and I think it’s going to start seriously affecting my mood.

Submissions, Cleaning and Reading

Even though I had the hardest time getting out of bed this morning and even though it took me forever and a day to stop feeling groggy (even though, I’m still not sure that I entirely do…) and even though I had planned to just veg in front of my computer all day, today ended up being a super great get-things-done day.

Tonight is the last night to get your submissions in for The Erotic Writers Group #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters. I was determined, no matter what, I was going to put in at least one submission. And, I did!!

I was inspired by one of the #WritingPrompts (this one) and although I totally hadn’t intended this entire piece to be about what it is, I spent 1000 words on Mary’s Nails – the first piece on my writing blog that isn’t technically for a submission to the challenges. Then, I wrote my first song since “The Tree” and have plans to eventually put some music to it and maybe make it a real thing, but for now, it’s just the lyrics. Deeper Into Me was a submission for this week’s #SaturdaySerenade.

Then, I suddenly decided we were going to completely clean the upstairs of our house. Generally, the upstairs stays really clean all the time. The Boyfriend and I have been spending more awake time in our room, so our room was needing a cleaning. The kids started off being pretty terrible but by the end of it, they were working so well that I even got them to do some extra cleaning downstairs.

Now my entire upstairs and living room are clean!

Then, I came back on the computer and got tons more done than I had expected to get done and it all seemed ridiculously easy. I’m hashing out stuff like crazy and I am loving it! It always feels good to get the bulk of your work done in less time than you expected to, especially being that it means I get to spend so much more time doing other things.

At some point tonight, I plan on getting some reading done because I’m very close to done my first book of 2015, Mary Wood-Allens’s What Young Women Ought to Know. It’s being quite the interesting read and more than once have I interrupted The Boyfriend’s gaming to read him passages from the book. My favorite rule presented by Mary is that girls should never run up and down the stairs. It’s been a running joke this week between The Boyfriend and I.

I always hate that he never reads any of the books that I read. But at least he pays enough attention to what I’m reading to be able to have running jokes with me!

Well, that’s my day in a nutshell. What was your day like? Do anything special this week?

Phew!

I have been having a fairly productive week. Even my house is cleaner than it normally is by a Thursday and I am all caught up on what was an insanely long to-do list, at least for a day or two. It’s been pretty nice!

On Monday, my brother, who I haven’t seen for some time, came back into town. He is doing splendidly living out in BC and it’s been great getting to spend some time with him. The only thing that would make it even better is if I got to spend some time with my sister too! It’s been really nice having him around, I missed him so much.

I’ve been working really hard on The Erotic Writers Group stuff and have managed to publish three blog posts and keep up on all our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters and generally, I’m getting tons done where that is concerned. I’m feeling really good about that. I was so worried that I wouldn’t get anything done when I said I would and that I would be so bogged down by it all that I wouldn’t want to do it. But, I’ve actually been surprising myself frequently with my dedication and motivation right now.

The Boyfriend went back to work today after a great three days off. He has a couple overnight shifts this week too which should be interesting. He used to work graveyards all the time and it was the worst thing in the world. I absolutely hated him working graveyards, specifically because of the kids, but also because I used to sketch out really bad at night.

He quit graveyards sometime after Carter was born, after I basically told him, “You quit or we’re done”. Then, when he got promoted, it was part of the promotion that every couple of months he has to do a couple nights of graveyards. I always forget how much I hated it until the day before it happens, and then I remember how nervous being alone at night makes me. Don’t even know why for sure, it just does. But, he loves the graveyards, so I guess it all works out 😉

Tonight, I plan on vegging on Netflix for the night. I’ve got so many shows underway right now, plus they’re bringing out tons of new stuff that I really want to see, so I gotta get down to watching and removing stuff from my list. I’ve got 2 seasons left of Nip/Tuck, probably 8 or so of Grey’s Anatomy (both shows that I never watched on TV). They just added the 3rd season of Call the Midwife, which I’m watching with Kaeidyn. Then The Boyfriend and I are currently working our way through House and The X-Files. I’m absolutely looking forward to new seasons of Orange is the New Black and The Fall and that doesn’t even take into consideration the 30 or so movies I have saved and the massive amount of documentaries I’m holding onto.

There just isn’t enough time at all for everything!