Restrained and Released

A few weeks back, I did some more online shopping and bought stuff specifically for The Boyfriend. Namely, two different types of masturbators. I also got an under-the-bed restraint system.

I always think we’re going to use the stuff the same day it arrives, but it normally ends up sitting in the box for a few weeks without even a thought given to it, before we finally open it up and look at it.

We had experimented with the masturbators already, but I decided that last night, I was setting up that restraint system, with or without his pre-approval. And so, after a good long almost two-hour bath, I decided to set this thing up. It took me about two seconds and being that I wasn’t betting on it’s use, I just kinda slid it under the mattress and left it there.

Even though The Boyfriend had now been up for almost 36 hours, I was determined we were having sex. After three weeks of riding the red wave, I was finally not bleeding and all I could think about was finally having something other than a solitary mastrubatory orgasm. And he was excited to oblige, which I wasn’t expecting and added to the anticipation.

We stayed up way later than we were expecting to. I mean, the kids didn’t go to bed until almost one in the morning, so it was way late. And I don’t know how he managed, other than a great deal of determination and for that I am thankful.

It started on the couch after we had both taken baths separately. I had gone first and then when he was up in his bath, I played games. When he was done, he had me keep playing while he did some playing of his own. As zombies attacked me and I smashed cars into tree after tree after tree, his fingers playfully roamed my freshly shaved flesh. About half an hour or so passed before we finally made our way upstairs.

Almost immediately, he was putting the restraints to use. He laid me on my back and roughly grabbed my left leg, yanking it up above my head and securing the velcro on the first strap. Then, he gently lifted my right leg and kissed my ankles as he strapped the next restraint onto me. I told him that he could tighten it by pulling “this” strap, I signaled with my chin. He smiled and pulled on the straps, my feet now touching the wall behind my head.

He sat back for a minute and admired his work. I delighted in this probably more than anything else. His hands went from around my ankles, where the straps were, to slowly make their way down the back of my legs, across the fold of my knee, up my thighs and resting nicely on my ass at the end. He smiled at me, this mischievous look in his eyes, and I could tell he was debating about his next move.

He grabbed my hands and strapped them into the cuffs at the bottom of the bed and tightened them a little bit. He raised up his hand and brought it down quickly on the left side of my ass, hitting the best spot possible. He did again on the other side and followed it quickly with soft kisses – and his facial hair set my body on fire. I shivered violently as he kissed the tip of my clit.

He just gently rubbed the tip of his cock against my wet slit and I knew he was ready for penetration. “Go slow, because I think it’s going to hurt” and he went really slow. The way that felt… I could feel every single little bump and ridge of his cock perfectly and I cooed at all the different sensations.

I’m a pretty flexible person for the most part. It’s not very often that we struggle to get me into all sorts of crazy positions. But with my feet above my head and my hands stretched below my ass, it felt like the angle he was going in at was much more intense than normal – as if he was filling every piece of available space. He was also leaning more back on his heels, so that right there always changes the way it feels.

He was obviously enjoying the show and I was obviously enjoying that. And when he pulled himself almost all the way out and raised his hand, we both exchanged devious smiles as he quickly brought his hand down onto that delicate area where ass meets thigh. I pulled against all four restraints and said, “My body…”, and he engulfed me, putting his hands in my hair and showering my cheeks, forehead, neck and ears with lingering kisses. His hands caressed down my sides, taking in the curve of my breasts with his weight bared upon them, and the fold of my hip from my bent up legs, and ran his fingers over my wetness and around his girth.

I relaxed back, the cool breeze from our open window hitting the line of sweat that had formed across my forehead, and he lifted off of me and played in the wetness between my legs. His fingers kept traveling further and further back and when he pulled out of me, I knew he was going to try for anal. If I wasn’t already absolutely sure of it, the succession of two or three good whacks on the ass and the rubbing of copious amounts of precum right on the entrance point were damn sure signs.

He moved his head around the straps now dangling in my face and kissed me hard. I reached my hands to my ass and gently pulled at my cheeks, hoping to make the interaction easier than it has been of late. Slowly, he eased his way in. He asked, “Are you okay?” and I nodded fervently. He whispered, “Good girl”, as he ran a finger over my temple and up through my hair. He pushed just a little bit harder and I gasped, “Wait!”. He stopped dead and waited for my next move.

I groped with my hands and he released the right one – my clit rubbing hand. I reached between my legs and felt around at what was happening and he sat completely still waiting for me. I tried to make it feel wetter, easier somehow. But he felt so massive, so unbearable. I tried rocking against him a little bit, relaxing onto him. But I felt so small, so breakable.

I said, “I can’t…”, defeated. He bent over and kissed me hard, “Such a good girl”, and I slowly guided him out of me. I commented right then and there that I did not realize how deep he was and I could not believe that I chickened out right then and there. He paid no attention and put his tongue to work on my still wet pussy.

My toes had begun to tingle. I wriggled them for a good five minutes, not wanting to released. One final slap on my ass was all I could handle, and as I pulled hard against the cuffs, I asked him to let my legs down. He did this part so sensually. He pulled slowly at the velcro strap, and was careful to not let my leg just fall or bounce down. He kissed all the way around my ankle where the strap had been left and gently set my leg down on the bed beside him, rubbing his fingers back up over it. The same on the other side and I immediately wrapped them around him, pulling him in tight for a good long mid-sex session hug.

We took a five minute drink break and I don’t think any drink has ever been so refreshing.

I had been fantasizing all day about taking his reversible masturbator and putting it on him and then sitting on him facing away from him, so that he could see the masturbator/penis/pussy combo. I decided now would be the perfect time.

The masturbator was a bit stubborn to put on, but we had anticipated that from a previous session with it. Once it was securely in place, I eagerly crawled on top of him and he was excited about the position (as he always in anytime I’m on top). He had the smooth side of the masturbator against him and the nubby side was sticking out. Man, were those nubbies ever noticeable at first, and almost not in a good way. It took quite awhile of going back and forth on them for them to start feeling anything less than weird and then, almost as soon as I got to that point, I got to the point of not being able to feel them at all. I could feel the veins in his cock better than I could the nubs on the toy.

He had had enough of the feeling of the masturbator. I have no idea how it felt for him, but he was ready for the real fucking of the night to begin. He was ready for orgasms.

He laid me on my back and swiftly penetrated me, hard and deep, his hands roughly on my shoulders pushing me down onto him. He told me to cum on his cock and I manically worked on my clit as he thrust hard into me. I came quickly and he said, “Now onto the next one!”. He pulled my legs this way and that, adjusting for deeper penetration and then easing up and going hard again, varying his speed, depth, angles, and rhythm. I continued circling my clit frantically.

I told him I was close and he thrust harder and faster. At the exact same moment, we both grunted out, “I’m cumming!” and my orgasm seemed to suspend itself on the pulses of his orgasm. I could literally feel his every drop deep within me. His orgasm finished and I immediately went to work on finishing that suspended orgasm. I felt like I had had my second but like I wasn’t done at all.

I’ve never worked harder to make something happen faster in my life!

He gently rocked his softening cock inside of me and his hands freely explored every exposed piece of flesh. The breeze brushed my nipples and the sweat in my hair made me shiver. His hands gathered up both my breasts and as I erupted into a blissful orgasm, he lowered his lips to mine and we kissed passionately as I quaked beneath him.

I sprawled out beneath him and he laid on me, putting his ear right next to my lips. Our hearts slowed, our breathing synced and his hand gently pushed my hair back away from my face. One last long kiss and an “I love you” was exchanged, before he gently rolled off of me.

I rolled onto my side and he wrapped his hand tight around me, his arm between my breasts, our bare bodies snuggled tight against one another. He kissed my shoulder, “Have a good sleep”. Next thing I knew, it was dinnertime the next day.

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What is with guys and anal sex?!?

I’ll never understand it. I know that it’s mostly because I don’t have a penis and can’t know the difference in sensations between anal and vaginal penetration. But I just can’t wrap my brain around it.

I could understand if I had a really hot ass, but I don’t. I’m not saying it’s not a hot ass, but I wouldn’t look at it and immediately think, “Oh, that’s fuckable!”. It’s the one area of my body that is just kinda super meh. Pre-fourth kid it was a really great ass, now it just desires to be.

But this doesn’t seem to matter and never has.

I have never ever been with a guy who isn’t utterly obsessed with the idea of anal. My first boyfriend, who was literally my first everything, was very interested in it. However, when we discovered that it hurt me, we both became more interested in anal penetration for him. My second boyfriend, and the father of my older three kids, could not get enough of the idea of it. We tried many, many times but I was always in the wrong headspace for it, so it always ended up hurting really bad. However, this didn’t stop him from trying at all.

Finally, The Boyfriend… He was the first one to have successful anal. Our first anal session still goes down to this day as one our most memorable sexperiences together. And since that first time, there has been about four more successful sessions. That being said, there’s been quite a few more failed attempts.

I had wanted to be an anal whore pretty badly as I emerged sexually. The very first porn I ever watched was titled something like “Anal Exploration” and I desperately wanted to do “that“. But anal is just one of those ones that I like thinking about more than I like doing. No matter how often I try, no matter what we do to change it, more often than not, I don’t enjoy anal sex.

I’ve always been the girl that wants to fulfill his every fantasy, so I pride myself on being incredibly open to sexplorations. I’m also the girl who receives a great deal of pleasure from my partner’s pleasure. I will do a lot of things that I don’t necessarily enjoy simply because he does. Anal sex is one of those things. For some reason, guys really seem to get off on anal sex. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, I don’t understand – I just know that they do.

I know that they do, because no matter how many times we’re all hot and heavy and he goes for anal and I turn him down and the hot and heavy cools off to a chilling degree, no matter how many times that scenario plays out, he still tries like he was never denied.

Honestly, I can’t say I hate the persistence. But seriously, what is with guys and anal sex?!?

Sexual Bitching

I’m always completely surprised by how bitchy I can get when I’m not getting the sexual experiences that I want. Suddenly, I become someone I don’t recognize.

It’s not that I’m not getting sex, although I haven’t for the last few days thanks to a period. And all those days that I haven’t been getting sex, without even being 100% aware of it, I’ve been incredibly sexually needy. So much so that The Boyfriend has gotten head every single night for the last four nights and my orgasm hasn’t even been on the radar.

I’ve been having a lot of sex dreams or sudden midday “visualizations”. I wouldn’t say that they’re necessarily fantasies, because sometimes they’re not even of things that I want. Like for example, the other night, I started visualizing giving The Boyfriend head, but then another person appeared behind me. He roughly grabbed my hair and thrust himself hard and deep into my ass, shoving The Boyfriend’s cock deep down my throat, muffling the screams. After he came, The Boyfriend scooped me up and wooed me with plenty of “Good girls”, and slowly, intimately, nicely made love to my ass. And when the visualization was over, all I could think is that that is nothing that I’d ever want, what the hell?!?

However, all these sex dreams, visualizations, thoughts about sex, sex on the brain, it tends to get to me. First of all, my sex life is nowhere near what I thought it would be by now. I figured I’d have a girlfriend and a boyfriend by now, I’d be getting my pussy worhsipped and daily spankings and tied up in rope and punished and rewarded for my sexual behaviour. I figured I’d at least be getting some kinkier sex. But nope, still just the same ole vanilla sex – and I’m not complaining, because I love that sex, but it’s not what I had hoped for…

Second, I’m much more interested in sexuality than any of my partners ever have been. And they hook me by pretending to be interested in the beginning of our relationships and then six years into it become absolutely complacent. To me, sex isn’t just sex. I mean, it can be, but what’s the point of that when you’re intimately and lovingly sharing your sexuality with your monogamous partner. Not everytime needs to be magical but it should be something that you strive for every once and awhile.

And I’m not saying that he doesn’t at all, he just doesn’t often enough or in the right ways. I want someone who is going to explore my body the way I explore theirs. I want someone who is interested in tasting or even seeing my vagina, even half as much as I enjoy tasting and looking at and exploring his penis. I want someone who isn’t going to fall asleep when I’m left to masturbate at the end of an exhausting session. I want someone who will fulfill one of my fantasies, not because it’s his fantasy, but because it’s mine!

See, these times just make me one big ball of bitchy. It even begins to roll over into the non-sexual areas of life. Last night, I told The Boyfriend to force me to play guitar while we were at my Mom’s. Spent hours at Mom’s today and not once was it mentioned. And the thought that runs through my head is along the lines of, “He doesn’t care”, and it’s not true. I know it’s not true, he knows it’s not true, everyone knows it’s not true. But during these times, I can’t help but hate him a little.

I hate him because I want so desperately to not hate him and a little effort on his part would go a long way towards making me not hate him and that makes me hate him even more. And then I rationalize with myself and I say, “But he works hard all day” and “He deals with so much at work” and “The kids have been a handful”, and I hate him even more for being such an amazing guy, so amazing that I can’t just hate him.

It’s very confusing for my brain, not to mention how confusing it is for my body.

Your Safeword is Bananas

Yesterday, The Boyfriend was convinced that he had to be at work for 9 AM. We woke up early and everything so that we could have coffees before work and it was the first time in weeks that I’ve been up way before noon. At about 8:30, he left for work and I started my online work.

An hour and a half or so later, he shows back up. Turns out he was closing, so he would have to go back to work later. He sat down next to me and played on his phone as usual. After a little bit, he turns and says to me, “God, you look good giving head” – here he is, on his phone, finally watching some of the videos we’ve made. I giggle as he continues to watch and he mentions that maybe when Carter goes to school we can have a quickie before work.

The day carries on and then he goes and drops Carter off at school. When he gets back, he sits for maybe 20 minutes and then whips off his pants, grabs my ponytail and directs my mouth to his already stiff self. I happily oblige. After another 20 minutes, he says that we’re going upstairs.

We both race up there and remove the rest of our clothing in a hurry. I lay back on the bed and he swiftly penetrates me, all the while kissing any piece of skin that comes near his lips. I have my first orgasm very quickly and his response to that first orgasm was purely epic. He pushed himself deeper and deeper, very slowly and stayed so still, me shaking furiously beneath him. And he kept kissing me everywhere.

He asks me to get on top of him for a little bit. As soon as I get up there, he says somethng like “You’re so sexy” and it always throws me off my game a little. I want to contradict him and be like, “Seriously?”, but I don’t. He absolutely delights in my breasts when I’m on top – he can’t even see any of the other flaws because all he sees is boobies. I was shaking so bad that I could hardly move an inch. Didn’t help that he kept reaching his hands between my legs to play with my clit, causing me to quiver violently.

He sat up and took my breasts hard into his mouth and wrapped his arms about my body, pulling me in so tight to him that I could feel his heart beating against my stomach. He gently laid me down without ever leaving me, and began to whisper in my ear.

I didn’t hear all of what he was saying. I heard the words “slowly, deeper” and “you have five minutes to cum or…” and “You’ll be saying ‘No Daddy, No’, and my brain and body turned into mush. He doesn’t have a particularly sexy voice but the second he does that whispering thing during sex… Geesh, just thinking about is making me a little hot.

He turns so that he can see the clock and he’s watching the minutes tick by as he continues to thrust. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what he’s got planned, when he suddenly pulls back and roughly turns me over. His hand pushes down on my upper back and he says firmly, “Your safeword is bananas”, and I melted beneath him.

He thrust hard into my pussy and roughly penetrated my ass with his finger. I yelped into my pillow, trying my hardest to muffle my overly loud sounds. After a few moments, he was trying hard to get his dick in my ass. The first push, I thought I could take it. The second push, I noticed myself tightening up. The third push, which seemed so much harder than the rest, caused me to pull up away from him and he whispered, “Are you okay?” and I moaned. The fourth push caused me to shake and everytime I tried to relax, the shaking in my legs and back began so violent, I said bananas…

He continued from behind but left my ass alone and it took no time at all for him to orgasm, thrusting so hard and so deep that I felt like I was going to burst. He asked if I was okay again and I purred into him, “Better than okay” and he laid back, both of us sweating in places we haven’t sweat since the summertime.

We finished with just enough time for a smoke before he had to leave for work. The rest of the day, bananas were on my brain. As I walked to pick up Carter, my legs still jelly-like, a dorky smile graced my face as bananas floated through my mind. As I watched TV and made dinner, I kept thinking “bananas” and when he came home from work, the first thing I said to him was bananas.