The Cleaning Never Ends

I’ve been having this problem for days now. Everyday when I wake up, the first thing I do is open my computer. Facebook, Twitter, FetLife and Google+ get opened first and sometimes this can take a little bit. I try not to get stuck on any one of them but instead try to hop back and forth between them. If I focus for too long, I start thinking too much.

Then I pop open WordPress and check through the stats on my blog(s). I check and see which posts, if any, are doing really good. I respond to any comments and then I often go to write. Usually, I just write and write and write until I feel content and then I hit publish without much thought. If I were writing this for you, dear reader, I might edit or spend more time on it. But I’m writing this for me, so… My standards are pretty low 😉

However, lately (I’m blaming it on my graveyard brain still), I just can’t seem to write anything that makes much sense. It all just reads back like gibberish to me…

https://plus.google.com/+ValerieRayne13/posts/DUAe8ef8i9y

We’ve been doing a lot of cleaning this week. Maybe even longer. It’s gotta be the warmer weather or something, but it is being just about the most challenging thing ever. I cannot get over how much time I’ve spent cleaning, how much effort everyone seems to be putting in, and how little of a change it seems to make.

It would all make more sense if we moved around the house more. But, we really don’t. I have my spot on the couch and a little table beside me. The Boyfriend sits right next to me and Carter normally right next to him. The older kids either sit on the floor or on the other couch. When they move, the only places they go are outside or up to their rooms. So, what I want to know, is how, if no one is spending time in the kitchen, how my kitchen always ends up as the messiest place in the house.

It would even make sense if we were cooking dinner in our kitchen on a regular basis, but recently, we’ve been ordering out a lot. We’ve been getting things you pop into the oven without any dishes. We’ve not been using our kitchen enough for it to make sense for there to be the mess that seems to be there everytime I wake up… It’s like destructive toddler elves are sneaking into our house while we sleep…

I am honestly so jealous of people with clean houses. I wish it were for lack of effort, because at least when it was that, I didn’t feel so terribly about the messes. But now, working my butt off day after day to keep some semblance of tidiness, and having it all be for naught, I just feel utterly ashamed of it. I don’t know how anyone ever has done this at any point of time… And I am so jealous of the people who can.

All that being said, I know from experience that the only way to get through it all is to just keep cleaning and just keep smiling. I’m doing everything in my power to ensure that I don’t let the constant repetitiveness get me down, because if I don’t keep on the messes, I’m terrified to find out what I’ll wake up to next!!! Plus, I know that eventually it will pass and it won’t seem so hard for at least a little while.

I’m going to say it’s weather-related and it’s the adjusting to a new season. Once we’re fully into Spring, it’ll be fine and then when we transition into Summer, it’ll get a little out of control again and then it’ll be fine. That thought brings me a great deal of comfort.

Well, I know that there’s tons more to write about but my brain is now officially on cleaning, so I might as well get up and start that before I have to go get all the brats from school. Hoping the sunshine sticks around for my walk.

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The Last Week…

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last wrote… It’s not for lack of things to write about or even a lack of desire to write about them, I just haven’t had a chance to get on my computer at all this last week. And then when I have had the chance, it’s the very last thing I’ve wanted to do.

This last week has been incredibly stressful. First, The Boyfriend went back to work after having a week off and he’s officially back on graveyards. I cannot tell you how mixed my emotions surrounding this have been. Then, we had our bi-annual inspection today and that always brings me more stress than is necessary.

I’ve spent the last week in a total and exhausting funk. And we knew that it was going to happen, as it almost always does during inspection time, and I warned The Boyfriend ahead of time. Unfortunately, the first week back on graveyards is always all consuming and so there was a definite feeling of lacking support this week that just made everything so much worse than usual.

Kaeidyn and I were trading off the stress about the inspection for the entire week. One minute I’d be all worked up and then just as I’d start to calm, she’d get all worked up and we just kept going back and forth like that constantly.

Our house got incredibly cleaned, which is the good thing out of all of it. Our floor finally got the mopping it was desperately craving, the snow melted enough that we were able to clean up most of the yard and we’ve decided that eventually we’re doing a big dump of all the clothes that we’ve managed to amass in our basement – most of which have been in the basement for months…

I was so upset last night. I was up late finishing up the last little bits of cleaning before inspection day and all of a sudden I hear a sound. Next thing I know, Kenzie’s puking all over all the cleaning I had just finished. Today, all the boys had upset stomachs and headaches. I hate when they all get sick all at once, because it’s always that much more overwhelming. Although it’s nice that it’s over and done with quicker.

I’ve been neglecting all my computer-related stuff for the last week and haven’t even checked in on most of it, other than the notifications I get on my phone. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and I’ve decided that I really want to change my blog theme and update it a little and stuff. I feel like it needs it or something. But I imagine it will take a few days before I make an official decision and then it will take a week or two to get it all changed and set up the way I like. But I’m thinking about it…

I’ve also been spending some time reading through my blogs from four or five years ago and it’s giving me some ideas for posts in the future and some other stuff, so I imagine that’s going to be an interesting little thing to explore as I get re-acquainted with my computer, now that my funk can be over for a little bit now.

A Mundane Dose

I had gone to bed last full of plans for today (and by today, I really mean yesterday, but I haven’t slept yet, so today…) – so many plans that The Boyfriend was actually rolling his eyes at me. Then the alarm went off this morning. I decided right then and there that today was not going to be nearly as productive as I was planning for it to be.

For the first time ever, I was wrong!

It felt like time was moving by so slowly and I started getting frustrated with the fact that I hadn’t heard The Boyfriend leave to get coffees yet. I came downstairs with the initial plan to just go back to bed but ended up staying downstairs and waiting as The Boyfriend took Carter to school and then got coffees.

I played some Minecraft for awhile. This needs to be explained a little bit. When we first got Minecraft, however long ago, I was super obsessed with it. I was playing almost daily, learning how to use redstone, building metropolis’ – I mean, nothing ever got finished, but I was making some pretty awesome stuff. And then the kids and The Boyfriend all became super obsessed with it. I was able to make it through when everyone was watching tutorial videos but when they all started watching stuff about mods and these crazy creations from Minecraft YouTubers and they all started building better and cooler things than I could even come up with, I lost interest in the game.

I also have a lot of other stuff going on, so playing games like Minecraft (which is incredibly easy to waste an entire day on), is not such a great idea…

I abandoned it for quite a long time and recently, due to beacons, I started experimenting with it again. However, when I say that I played Minecraft, what I really mean is that I loaded up a map, explore it until I died and then started a new map. Normally that would be in creative and I’d build just long enough to decide that I hate the whole thing and I’ll start a new map. And it’s this constant and never-ending play a map for a few minutes, make a new one, play for a few minutes, make a new one – and that’s playing Minecraft for me right now.

So, I played Minecraft for a bit and then The Boyfriend mentioned that he had to run in to work. Part of the big plan for this weekend was to go grocery shopping. We didn’t get it done over the weekend but if he was going to work anyway, he might as well pick up some of the groceries while he was there. But then I started thinking that it would be smarter for me to go.

He’s a great shopper, don’t get me wrong. He buys all the right brands that we all like, picks out the right food and can recognize a great bargain. My only complaint is that unless specifically instructed, he shops for like two meals at a time or breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days. And I know his thinking is that he can pick up whatever we need on his next day of work, but I’m just better at the whole buying bigger quantities for less – mainly because it’s the only way I’ve ever shopped.

We went back and forth forever and eventually ended up deciding that we would go shopping. The Boyfriend had to be at work at a specific time, so we went to our first store to get the bulk of our shopping done. I told him I could do it half an hour or less and exactly half an hour later we were walking out spending $100 less than I had planned to spend! Then we went over to his work and he did what he had to get done while I picked up the rest of the groceries, and because that’s what you do when you’re shopping at Wal-Mart, I even ended up getting a few things that weren’t on my list.

It’s not that I’m really great at shopping overall. If I had to shop for anyone else but my family, I’d be screwed. But shopping for my family, I just always surprise myself at how good I can be at it sometimes. How my bad math ends up working in my favor a lot of the times and how I can be so fast and efficient and it just generally fills me with a great sense of pride. I like that feeling in mundane doses 😉

So after shopping was all done, we came home and while it took me forever and a day to get motivated to move at all, The Boyfriend and I ended up tidying up the kitchen. Now tomorrow, which I have tons of plans for, will already be one step closer to done. Finally, I made steak and fries for dinner (which was utterly delicious) and sat down with the family to watch a couple of episodes of Full House and That 70’s Show on Netflix before sending the kids off to bed.

All in all, I couldn’t have planned it any better!

 

Been Awhile, I Know…

I didn’t mean to stay away so long. It’s just that a whole lot of nothing has been happening around here lately. I’ve been hard at work on website stuff and creating and deleting maps on Minecraft. The kids have had a ton of days off school, so they’ve mostly been gaming it up. And The Boyfriend has been working a lot of “late shifts”, so there’s been lots of late nights and late afternoons…

We’ve all been working our butts off to keep a cleaner house. I think it’s part of impending spring weather that’s got us all busying ourselves with tidying. And while we spend at least an hour a day doing something towards keeping the house clean, it just seems to get so messy so fast. It’s absolutely depressing.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well, cleaning my house is the equivalent of absolutely off-the-rocker insanity. I’ve never seen the kids work so hard to clean up after themselves and while I’m sure that you can tell as an observer, but as the ones living it, it just seems like we’re getting nowhere. Just as one area is clean and you move onto the next, that first area is now destroyed and you know in mere moments the next will be the same.

I know that I’m not alone in my plight and I’ve heard from other Mom’s with four kids that it’s a near impossibility to keep it really clean and I’m obviously okay with that. But I do seriously wish that it was all a little bit more manageable. One day, I’ll have a maid or a troop of maids, and then I won’t have to worry about it. For now, I’ll just rant…

Other than that, not too much has been going on around here. I kinda like it that way 😉

Time for the Neglect to End!

I have been neglecting The Erotic Writers Group and our #WritingChallenges for two weeks now. I hate it and I’m ready for the neglect to end!

I’m blaming it on a few different things. First, the massive amount of graveyard shifts The Boyfriend has been working lately. I think he’s up to four so far. I guess it’s part of preparing him for full-time graveyards or something, since he’ll be going to that sometime near his birthday. I cannot tell you how unhappy I am about it and yet, how happy I am for him about it.

I know he really liked working graveyards. He also seemed to be able to progress through the ranks faster when he was working graveyards, whereas on days, he’s been stuck for a really long time. I know that for him, graveyards is a better deal. So, I’m happy for him but I’m dreading the whole graveyard thing…

It screws with my sleep so much. I stay up later on nights before he works, getting ready for the shift with him. I sleep later because as long as he’s still in bed, I stay in bed. I need to get to a place where I can just carry on as if he’s not working graveyards… Maybe that will come after the first 3 months or so…

I’ve also been busy offline, trying to keep the house clean. It is not being an easy task at all. Now that we’re cleaning more often it seems like the house is getting dirtier so much faster. It’s truly exhausting and I have officially decided that when I win the lottery (after I start playing), my first mission is to get a housemaid, because I’d like to retire from the duty of cleaning altogether.

I made the boys cleaning out the toy box yesterday and you cannot believe how much that seemed to cheer me up. Getting rid of all the broken and mismatched toys was just about the best thing ever. However, now they’ve discovered toys they haven’t seen in months from the bottom of the toybox and so toys are strewn everywhere right now. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s one of those ones that you end up being grateful for.

So, my goal this weekend is to get back to our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, complete a project that I’ve been working on for about a week (and that I’m keeping mum about it until it’s done) and keep my living room clean for the whole weekend! Plus, I’ve got dinner down at my Mom’s, where I plan to play guitar for at least 2 hours. So, YAY for the weekend!!

Anyone got any big plans for Valentine’s Day?

It’s Slowing Down…

I knew that my streak of productive days would come to a crashing halt eventually. It lasted longer than I expected it to and it’s not even that I’m not being as productive, it’s just not being as focused on being productive.

I missed a post this week. I didn’t realize it until the next day. I have all these reminders set all over the place and somehow I ended up missing this one entirely. It was the first sign that something was up, because I hadn’t needed any of the reminders I had set up until right then!

Then, I cleaned the house. The kids and I worked for at least 2 hours on cleaning. Since no one could agree on what they wanted to do for jobs, we drew them from a hat and each kid got a specific job. That resulted in a lot of tears and the whole time Keirnan cleaned up the small mess in the bathroom, he whined and whined. All in all, they did a really great job. One thing that I’m noticing about keeping my house cleaner is that it seems like it gets dirtier so much faster.

I decided today to start clearing up my browser. I use Chrome and lately all my bookmarks and extensions are becoming a terrible mess. At some point, I had two different accounts connected and it’s got stuff from both accounts and it’s just a confusing jumble of stuff. I have my most used stuff out front and center, but there is a whole host of disorganization upon further inspection.

However, clearing up my browser and making it so that it’s all pretty and organized turned into a traumatic experience that I am quickly trying to forget, because it just makes me want to throw my hands up. I discovered accounts I had forgotten that I had and emails that I no longer know the passwords to and just ugh… Darn me for having so many fleeting interests over the years!

I also spoilt myself a little with some game stuff. I bought the new “game pack” for The Sims 4 and although I played for a couple hours earlier today, never actually got around to trying it out. Then, got some other game points and bought myself Hotel Giant 2, which I have been wasting a large amount of time on, as I knew I would when I bought it. I figure the kids and The Boyfriend have been gaming it up a lot lately, I might as well join that.

Other than that, this past week has been mostly boring. I’ve felt like I’m lagging a lot. My sleep feels like it’s all out of whack, even though I can’t figure out how exactly. I’m hoping that as it turns into spring and the sun starts setting and rising at a normal hour that my sleep will start to straighten out a little bit. Too much longer of this and I think it’s going to start seriously affecting my mood.

Submissions, Cleaning and Reading

Even though I had the hardest time getting out of bed this morning and even though it took me forever and a day to stop feeling groggy (even though, I’m still not sure that I entirely do…) and even though I had planned to just veg in front of my computer all day, today ended up being a super great get-things-done day.

Tonight is the last night to get your submissions in for The Erotic Writers Group #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters. I was determined, no matter what, I was going to put in at least one submission. And, I did!!

I was inspired by one of the #WritingPrompts (this one) and although I totally hadn’t intended this entire piece to be about what it is, I spent 1000 words on Mary’s Nails – the first piece on my writing blog that isn’t technically for a submission to the challenges. Then, I wrote my first song since “The Tree” and have plans to eventually put some music to it and maybe make it a real thing, but for now, it’s just the lyrics. Deeper Into Me was a submission for this week’s #SaturdaySerenade.

Then, I suddenly decided we were going to completely clean the upstairs of our house. Generally, the upstairs stays really clean all the time. The Boyfriend and I have been spending more awake time in our room, so our room was needing a cleaning. The kids started off being pretty terrible but by the end of it, they were working so well that I even got them to do some extra cleaning downstairs.

Now my entire upstairs and living room are clean!

Then, I came back on the computer and got tons more done than I had expected to get done and it all seemed ridiculously easy. I’m hashing out stuff like crazy and I am loving it! It always feels good to get the bulk of your work done in less time than you expected to, especially being that it means I get to spend so much more time doing other things.

At some point tonight, I plan on getting some reading done because I’m very close to done my first book of 2015, Mary Wood-Allens’s What Young Women Ought to Know. It’s being quite the interesting read and more than once have I interrupted The Boyfriend’s gaming to read him passages from the book. My favorite rule presented by Mary is that girls should never run up and down the stairs. It’s been a running joke this week between The Boyfriend and I.

I always hate that he never reads any of the books that I read. But at least he pays enough attention to what I’m reading to be able to have running jokes with me!

Well, that’s my day in a nutshell. What was your day like? Do anything special this week?

It’s Morning!

My morning is off to a pretty great start. Look at that, I just said morning and it absolutely is. Do you know how many weeks it’s been since I said morning and it actually was morning?!?

I’m up early this morning for a bunch of different reasons. First and foremost, because it is the first day of the return of #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters and I wanted to be sure that it all worked the way it was supposed to. So far, so good.

Then, the older kids are coming home today and will be home right around noon. If it were a normal day, I’d still be upstairs in bed sleeping with Carter at that time. I woke up when The Boyfriend went to work this morning so that I could be sure to be awake when the older kids get home. I’m surprisingly more excited than I expected about them coming home. Cannot wait for Carter to have someone else to play with!

I’ve got a lot more stuff planned for today, all mostly online stuff. I do plan on cleaning the kitchen at some point today, but we did a bunch of cleaning last night, so my offline to-do list is dramatically shorter. I want to write a buttload of blog posts, but first I need to write those of which are necessary – then I can write for fun.

I wrote a post awhile back on my bucket list that has been getting a few comments. I need to go back and update it, to make it more clear that Alfie and I are no longer together. So I’ve gotten a few comments about “you just need to (a) where your relationship with Alfie is concerned”, and it’s amazing how hard it is to respond to those ones nicely. Mainly because of all the crappy drama that went down between Alfie and I (especially in terms of that post), although we seemed to get over it well enough and are friendly with each other, so I can’t really complain about anything.

Ah, the problems of a blog-a-holic 😉

Just to clarify, for those of you who may not know, Alfie and The Boyfriend are two different people. Alfie is Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan’s Dad, The Boyfriend is Carter’s Dad. Alfie is my ex-boyfriend, The Boyfriend is my current boyfriend.

Always with the Planning…

I always forget how much being a few kids short totally relaxes and rejuvinates. You don’t realize how burnt out parenting is making you until you get a break, and then the whole world just feels a ton lighter.

Dealing with one kid instead of four of them is so crazy easy. Especially with Carter at the age that he’s at, where he’s easy to get interested in something. I have spent pretty much the whole day today in complete silence (outside of asks for drinks) and almost completely by myself, because he’s been having fun playing upstairs.

That being said, I do miss the older ones. Boy was it ever a good thing they left when they did, because that night we got a ridiculous amount of snow and the roads have been horrible. They’ll be coming home Sunday night, assuming that the roads aren’t absolutely terrible, so that will be nice.

Sometime this weekend, I’ve gotta go do some grocery shopping. I was supposed to go last weekend but kept procrastinating all week and now it needs to get done! When it’s cold outside, I’d rather just stay in my house. Unfortunately, that’s not really practical. So, I’m hoping tomorrow, I will get up the motivation to go out and get my grocery shopping done. I always hate doing it without The Boyfriend, but I gotta suck it up.

Then on Sunday, big house cleaning. I want to get so much done that it’s a little bit ridiculous and I’m sure that I’m not going to get it all done, but I’m hoping. I really want to clean my bookshelf again, because Carter absolutely destroyed it looking for a specific book. Now all my organized work is unorganized…

Plus, I’m only a few chapters away from the end of Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf, so I’m hoping this weekend will be the weekend that I finish it. Such a good read and I love how after every session of reading, I feel like I’ve learnt a little bit more about myself – even though the story is more of a autobiography of life as a girl in San Francisco during the ’70s (and I am only one of those things…), I’m finding a lot of it to be good conversation fodder. Just a few more chapters 😉

Well, now that I’ve unleashed my to do list on you, what are your plans for this upcoming weekend?

Proud Mama and Turkey Weekend

These last few days have been busy busy and now it’s time for a couple days break before it gets busy busy again.

First, I had parent/teacher conferences this week. I always go into these things expecting to hear the worst things about my kids and I always leave, incredibly relieved, to not have heard anything negative. All of them are doing spectacularly well.

I met with Carter’s kindergarten teacher first. I was really expecting to hear a lot of bad things, because he’s always so unhappy to be going to school. But his teacher said there were no complaints. They are going to work out a plan with the speech therapist to get a program started for his speech delay – which we knew going into this year and had actually requested, because he is very hard to understand.

Next up was Keirnan’s teacher. He had just graduated out of his speech therapy the day before, which made me the most proud Mom ever. I didn’t think he would get to graduate already, but the speech therapist said that the only thing she could think of for him to still work on (and that chances are, until his front teeth come in, it will continue to be an issue), is the clarity of his hissy sounds. His teacher absolutely loves having him in class, he’s a total cutie and it’s evident that he’s working extra hard to make up for his weaknesses. Big smiles after leaving his class.

Kaeidyn, I always know exactly what to expect when I go in for her. Her conferences always seem different too, because she is the only one of the kids who has ever had a male teacher – and this year, she has two! As usual, she’s extra chatty, however academically she’s right where she’s supposed to be, gets her homework in on time and is a great help in the classroom and around the school.

This year, they had sent home permission forms for the HPV vaccine. Kaeidyn’s in Grade 5. I decided, since it said that she could get it later on, that this year we would not get her the vaccine. She will most likely get it, but I’d just like to wait a little bit longer. Do some extra research and feel really confident about it. So, I refused her getting it this year and just wanted to check with her teachers that she could still get it in Grade 9. They weren’t 100% sure, but one of her teachers tried to convince me that I should do it and that it was best for her to do it and how he had read all these articles, blah blah blah. It was difficult for me to not snap at him that I had read articles too and I think I’m the one that gets to say what’s best for my daughter. But, I didn’t, I smiled and just said, “This is just what we’ve decided for right now”.

Needless to say, Kaeidyn’s conference had way too much talk about the eventual day when my daugther becomes sexually active. I was sweating profusely when I left her room.

Lastly was Kenzie’s conference. I was shocked, jaw gaping and all, when Kenzie’s teacher informed me that they had had some behavioural issues with Kenzie this year. Apparently, he’s not listening to one of the lunch supervisors and he’s got a friend with him and they’re both being, as the teacher put it, “monkeys”. She said she’s personally never experienced any issues, but this lunch supervisor has. He had to write an apology letter and ever since they haven’t had any other issues, but both of us couldn’t get over how unexpected it was of Kenzie. Other than all that, he’s doing a great job, especially in math.

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning and a lot of Simming lately. That’s pretty much all I’ve done over the last few days. I was shocked to wake up this morning to the house still being relatively clean, because usually the kids have it destroyed by the time we wake up. I’ve also been showing off a lot of my work in The Sims 4 over here, which has been quite a bit of fun. I don’t think I’ve ever stuck with a Sims character so long with such dedication.

Next up is turkey dinner on Monday, which I’m massively looking forward to. It feels like it’s been too long since I last had turkey! Plus, I get to see The Boyfriend’s family and that always feels like a treat. Then, back-to-school and regular life on Tuesday and an entire three days off for The Boyfriend, which I couldn’t be more excited about.

So what’s everyone’s turkey weekend plans? And for those of you who aren’t having a turkey weekend, that’s too bad for you 😉