10 Times My Kids Were Hilarious!

Over the years on social media, I have tracked various funny or quirky things that my kids have said. Tonight, I was going through old Facebook and Twitter posts and among a variety of great gems (like this shot), I found some seriously funny things.

So, I thought it would be fun to share with you 10 times that my kids made me laugh out loud.

  1. Not Sure What “Dagged” Means

  2. Don’t Mess With the Bacon

  3. For When Barbie Goes Ziplining

  4. I Keep Saying “Definition of Insanity”…

  5. Turn on the Lights

  6. Kids, Dating and Breakups

  7. Sprite or Water on the Face

  8. He Claims “I Help!”

  9. A Variation of “Who’s on First”

  10. Exciting Attitude Girl

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This Has Never Happened…

With The Boyfriend on graveyards and the older three kids gone to their Dad’s, we’ve been doing a lot of lazing and vegetating. For the most part, I’ve been playing The Sims 4 and listening to a lot of music.

A new expansion came out for The Sims 4, which I went crazy tweeting and Instagram-ing about, because I was incredibly excited.

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It's happening!! #TheSims4 #TS4 #Get2Work

A post shared by Valerie Rayne (@valerierayne) on

They’ve finally added some things that I’ve personally never gotten to play before. I’m relatively new to The Sims franchise for PC, and have really only had a lot of experience for consoles. So I’m getting to try my hand at a lot of things that I’ve always wanted to try in The Sims – like going to work with my sim or running a business of my own.

I even added a place of my own to The Gallery, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. I’m working on writing up a more detailed piece on that over here.

And music…

Recently, Grooveshark updated their entire site. I’ve been using Grooveshark for quite awhile and I don’t remember how I found it or why I chose it over all the other options, but with this recent update and where it looks like it’s going, I’m glad I use it. So, I’ve been going around updating all my stuff there and this has resulted in a lot of listening.

From the two eclectic pieces that I’ve shared on Google+:

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/47Gdy5vBX6z

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/1cHvhgujb59

And the new playlists that I’ve started working on (here and here) and my favorites. I’ve just been listening and adding and creating and editing like crazy on Grooveshark.

Tomorrow the kids finally come home. I keep saying that it’s a good thing too, because maybe it will finally be quiet around here. Carter has been so talkative since they’ve been gone that it’s rarely quiet. And when he’s not talking, he’s beatboxing. And while I love both of those things greatly, it gets tired after 8 hours straight…

Then, we get to go for Easter Dinner tomorrow night and see some people we haven’t seen in years and finally, I get to see my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I only get to see them about once a year, so it’s always a pretty big deal.

Honestly, this last week and this upcoming week are probably going to end up being my favorite two weeks of this year. Lots of goodness happening, lots of lack of stress, I feel pretty darn content.

This has never happened…

Injury and Fever

Our house phone has been on the fritz lately. It basically hasn’t worked at all for the last month and we’re not exactly sure why. And everytime that we’re about to go out and buy a new phone or call our phone company, the thing suddenly starts working like they’re was never a problem.

I was never more grateful for this than I was yesterday. Just as I’m getting my boots on to go pick up the kids from school, after over a week of not ringing, the phone rings. It’s the school. Apparently, Carter had gone to the washroom and managed to hit his head and the school nurse was pretty sure he was going to need stitches. No one knew exactly what he had done.

I rushed down to the school as quick as my little legs would carry me and the school nurse offered to drive us up to the hospital. So thankful for that. We seriously need to get a vehicle… When I got to the school, they had a bandage wrapped about his head, so you couldn’t really see the damage done.

 

Carter in Bandages

Carter in Bandages

He was in surprisingly good spirits, talkative as always. We were told it would be a long wait but I thought it was just perfect. I had had just the right amount of time to keep myself from panicking. We got taken back to the minor treatment area and Carter was still doing so great. Talking away, telling stories to anyone who would listen, babbling to himself.

I did not expect the gash to be as big as it was. As they removed the bandage from his head, my hand covered the gasp as they revealed the cut. It was very deep and a lot larger than I had been prepared for. It took me awhile to get over that…

They put some freezing cream on his head first and that was on there for about 20 minutes. Then the doctor came in and Carter was very excited about the idea of getting a needle. When they jammed the needle into the open cut, he winced a little bit, but other than that, took it like a total champ. Didn’t cry at all and kept going off about how strong and brave he was.

They put 6-8 stitches on the inside, although none of us are sure because between the two nurses they brought in to hold him down, my Mom and I and the doctor, we were all cracking up laughing over Carter’s calm banter during this ordeal. He was having a great time. Then, 12 stitches on the outside. By this point, the freezing cream had started to wear off, so his skin was a little tender and couple times he tensed up, but other than it was easy as pie.

When he was done, he was hyper. He wanted to go places and do things and talk to his Dad. So, we left the hospital and went down to Wal-Mart to see The Boyfriend and pick up a few things for dinner and breakfast. Carter was bouncing off of walls by this point and we had a hard time keeping him from jumping into the way of other people.

He was very excited to see Daddy and this theme carried on for the rest of the night. When we got home, after a couple hours, he decided he was ready for bed. After sleeping for about half an hour, he woke up with a headache, as we expected. By this point, the gash had started to swell pretty bad and all Carter wanted was Daddy. He was crying so hard, “Please, call my Daddy!”. Just hearing his voice on the phone calmed him down enough to be able to give him some tylenol.

I had come home from the hospital to Kaeidyn complaining about her stomach. By the time Carter was needing tylenol, so was she as her stomach got worse and she started to get a fever. She kept me up most of the night last night with a pain in her stomach that she couldn’t describe, constant fluctuation between hot and cold and a mild fever. The 4 AM lukewarm bath seemed to do the trick and she slept until about 7 AM.

For the most part, she’s slept the day away. She’s still got a little bit of the fever but has stopped complaining about her stomach. And Carter has only complained about the bandaids, which seem to be pulling his hair a little bit. Other than that, he’s been a bundle of joy and has been helping take care of his sick sister and is his happy, normal self.

I didn’t start feeling the stress of the day yesterday until close to midnight and then it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so overwhelmed all of a sudden and I kept telling/asking myself that I had already done the hardest parts of the day, what was I freaking out about, but just could not quiet the stressed out feeling. By the time we went to bed, I just felt angry at the entire world. I was relieved beyond belief to wake up this morning and not feel any of those things. It’s incredible what stress can do to a person.

Now, it’s time to get to some computer work while I let the kids veg for a little while longer and then, dishes and dinner. Cannot wait for bed tonight, that’s for sure!

A Few of My Favorite Things

Favorite Posts So Far

It’s officially been about six months since I came back from my big long blogging hiatus. In that time, on this blog alone, I’ve written 40 posts (counting this one). So, I thought it would be fun to take a look back on some of my favorite posts over the last year, not only on this blog but also on My Bucket List, my Pictures & Videos and my Writing & Erotica.

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Rants (this blog)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Writes (Writing & Erotica)

For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Lists (My Bucket List)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Pics (My Pictures & Videos)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Now that I’ve shared all my favorites with you, I’d love for you to share yours with me. I’d also like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading and following. I especially want to thank those who have commented on my posts and the valuable insights you have often given me. Thank you so much for the likes and I hope we keep on having them 😉

Proud Mama and Turkey Weekend

These last few days have been busy busy and now it’s time for a couple days break before it gets busy busy again.

First, I had parent/teacher conferences this week. I always go into these things expecting to hear the worst things about my kids and I always leave, incredibly relieved, to not have heard anything negative. All of them are doing spectacularly well.

I met with Carter’s kindergarten teacher first. I was really expecting to hear a lot of bad things, because he’s always so unhappy to be going to school. But his teacher said there were no complaints. They are going to work out a plan with the speech therapist to get a program started for his speech delay – which we knew going into this year and had actually requested, because he is very hard to understand.

Next up was Keirnan’s teacher. He had just graduated out of his speech therapy the day before, which made me the most proud Mom ever. I didn’t think he would get to graduate already, but the speech therapist said that the only thing she could think of for him to still work on (and that chances are, until his front teeth come in, it will continue to be an issue), is the clarity of his hissy sounds. His teacher absolutely loves having him in class, he’s a total cutie and it’s evident that he’s working extra hard to make up for his weaknesses. Big smiles after leaving his class.

Kaeidyn, I always know exactly what to expect when I go in for her. Her conferences always seem different too, because she is the only one of the kids who has ever had a male teacher – and this year, she has two! As usual, she’s extra chatty, however academically she’s right where she’s supposed to be, gets her homework in on time and is a great help in the classroom and around the school.

This year, they had sent home permission forms for the HPV vaccine. Kaeidyn’s in Grade 5. I decided, since it said that she could get it later on, that this year we would not get her the vaccine. She will most likely get it, but I’d just like to wait a little bit longer. Do some extra research and feel really confident about it. So, I refused her getting it this year and just wanted to check with her teachers that she could still get it in Grade 9. They weren’t 100% sure, but one of her teachers tried to convince me that I should do it and that it was best for her to do it and how he had read all these articles, blah blah blah. It was difficult for me to not snap at him that I had read articles too and I think I’m the one that gets to say what’s best for my daughter. But, I didn’t, I smiled and just said, “This is just what we’ve decided for right now”.

Needless to say, Kaeidyn’s conference had way too much talk about the eventual day when my daugther becomes sexually active. I was sweating profusely when I left her room.

Lastly was Kenzie’s conference. I was shocked, jaw gaping and all, when Kenzie’s teacher informed me that they had had some behavioural issues with Kenzie this year. Apparently, he’s not listening to one of the lunch supervisors and he’s got a friend with him and they’re both being, as the teacher put it, “monkeys”. She said she’s personally never experienced any issues, but this lunch supervisor has. He had to write an apology letter and ever since they haven’t had any other issues, but both of us couldn’t get over how unexpected it was of Kenzie. Other than all that, he’s doing a great job, especially in math.

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning and a lot of Simming lately. That’s pretty much all I’ve done over the last few days. I was shocked to wake up this morning to the house still being relatively clean, because usually the kids have it destroyed by the time we wake up. I’ve also been showing off a lot of my work in The Sims 4 over here, which has been quite a bit of fun. I don’t think I’ve ever stuck with a Sims character so long with such dedication.

Next up is turkey dinner on Monday, which I’m massively looking forward to. It feels like it’s been too long since I last had turkey! Plus, I get to see The Boyfriend’s family and that always feels like a treat. Then, back-to-school and regular life on Tuesday and an entire three days off for The Boyfriend, which I couldn’t be more excited about.

So what’s everyone’s turkey weekend plans? And for those of you who aren’t having a turkey weekend, that’s too bad for you 😉

 

#WhyWeNeedFeminism – Rants A-Brewing!

Remember when I was talking about that hashtag… Well, it’s rearing it’s ugly head in my life profoundly and I feel like I’m embarking on this very sudden abrupt journey.

When I first ran across the #WhyWeNeedFeminism hashtag, it was really difficult for me to debate anything with anyone about it, because I just didn’t feel very connected to it. For me, in my life, I’ve never really seen that we need feminism, because everything I needed as a woman was already fought for. Or at least it seemed that way because I was raised by a strong, independent, no-man-needing woman who raised us to believe that I was just as good as all the boys, even my brother. So, I couldn’t relate.

However, in the past few days and an instance a few months back, have completely changed my thinking. The instance a few months back didn’t really click it in for me, it was just kind of floating in my brain waiting for this exact moment to resurface.

Kaeidyn, my 9-year-old, is quite the little diva. She’s always been that way. And I hate to say it, but she is quite vain. She’s always asking for compliments, she’ll walk up to total strangers and say “Don’t I look cute in this outfit?”, and the clothes she wears… First, she has a lot of family members who don’t know how to say no to her. Hell, I’m not even that good at it. So she’s been able to figure out ways to get very short skirts and very short shorts.

This one day, she comes down from her room wearing the shortest skirt ever. Now another thing about Kaeidyn, is that she is incredibly gorgeous. And I’m not just saying this as her Mom. Somehow, she has got a really great body – legs that go on for miles, a butt that looks like it belongs to a much older girl and her skin carries an amazing tone to it that just makes her glow. She knows this entirely. So, she comes down in this short skirt and I immediately tell her she cannot wear it out of the house.

I’m a pretty nice Mom that way, much the same way my Mom was. If it’s too short to wear out of the house, I’m not saying you have to get rid of it, but you have to stay inside when you wear it.

Of course, as usual, we get into a huge arguement about why I’m so mean to her, blah blah blah. At some point, The Boyfriend joins in, as he usually does and he says to her, “You don’t want some boy to rape you because you wore that out”. Worst parenting moment ever on my part, because right in front of her, I was like, “Eh, eh, eh, eh. Now now! We don’t say things like that” and launch into a mini-lecture about victim blaming.

This was just the first hint.

Then, we go down to my Mom’s and that day, Kaeidyn got to walk with Kenzie to the store by herself for the first time. She was very excited and couldn’t wait to tell. As a 9 almost 10-year-old, and the fact that she’s been working hard to gain some trust so that she can go further away from the house, I decided in a rushed moment that it was okay by me. And she did great, they both did.

My Mom has a tendency to forget what it was like when we were kids and the stuff that we got away with when we did. I was in Grade 2 when I was walking to the store by myself and by the time I was Kaeidyn’s age, I would walk to go get her smokes from the local convenience store. She was quick to point out that I was always with my sister, who is 17 months older than me. Kaeidyn went with her brother, so in my books, a-okay!

Almost immediately, my Mom starts going off about how “she’s a girl” and that “it’s much more dangerous for girls” and that she hopes I’ll wait until Kaeidyn is in her teens before I start letting her go anywhere without her brothers… And then begins in on the rape that is just out there around every corner waiting for every single girl that’s ever going to walk out the front door!

Is anyone else feeling queasy yet, or is just me?…

I’m not saying that girls shouldn’t be, to some degree, concerned about getting raped and that it should kind of be a guiding voice in our heads. Don’t go walk through that forest in the middle of the night, don’t go out drinking without a buddy, don’t go jogging down your favorite trail on a Friday night when all the lamps just happen to blow out. You know, make some smart choices and such…

However, I do not want a single day of my daughter’s life to somehow be less-than because she was afraid of getting raped. I don’t want her to not be able to accomplish her dreams because there was an iota of a chance that she could get raped. I don’t want to spend my own life, as a girl, in fear of every man that walks by me, because he might rape me…

Rape, and the possibility of it happening in my life, should not change how I live my life. And it should not change the way I raise my daughter as opposed to my sons, it should not change the way we, as girls are treated. It should not change the lessons we are all taught about life. We raise little boys to be brave, because no one is going to rape them. We raise little girls to be weak, because everyone is going to rape them.

And I am here, as a concerned mother, to say I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!

Then, the absolute kicker in the whole pants of the #WhyWeNeedFeminism debate. If you’ve read the entries from the last two days, you probably know exactly where I’m going.

For me to be considered sexually attractive by my partner of six years, I have to dress up as something that I am simply not, I have to “be more sexual” when I’m already more sexual than any other person I know who doesn’t only live on the internet, I have a huge laundry list of ways that I have to be, endlessly, to be sexually attractive. Then, that becomes repititous and whose fault is that? You guessed it, mine!

For him to be considered sexually attractive, he has to wear whatever the hell he found on the floor, shower once a week, shave once a month and never even have to worry about how he looks or acts or thinks…

He can walk around with his shirt off and no one says a thing. I can’t even breastfeed in public without dirty looks and people telling me I should go to the bathroom to do that. Do you eat where you shit?!? Then, why should my baby! He can walk through the mall with his hands down his pants, scratching his balls for the whole world to see, and I can’t even pick a wedgie.

Like seriously, what are we teaching our kids? What are we letting ourselves get away with? How blind can we be…?

Don’t even get me started on how I’m viewing things now that I’ve been slapped in the face in terms of society and it’s relation to my womanhood – because that’s a whole can of worms that I’m not even prepared to open. But in just my world, my little miniscule world of about 10 people, this is #WhyWeNeedFeminism and why we will always need it…

Status

Facebook Status Blog Post: Wow… Just Wow!

Scrolling through my Facebook feed tonight and this story from Mashable (one of the few online resources I’ve followed for so long that I officially can’t remember how long I’ve followed them fore…) grabs my attention. I just had to add my two cents and trust me there’s more where that came from…! And yes, I’m aware that all parents do it differently and you’ll hear me advocate a lot for that, but that’s just too scary to be messing with.