The last few days have not been very good. I’m blaming it on PMS, because I can and because it’s the only reason I can think that just suddenly, out-of-nowhere, I’m hit with this utterly drained of life feeling.
I woke up one day, just not feeling like myself. I was feeling pretty down about everything and tears kept coming to my eyes over the stupidest little things. I was getting easily upset by the little things that the kids were doing and just being so moody. And then, it just seemed to get worse.
That was about three days ago and I just can’t shake this drained type of feeling. I can’t say what particular emotion it is exactly, because it doesn’t really feel like one. I feel like I’m really old. My body has been hurting a lot and I know that it’s because my brain is hurting somewhere.
I don’t know where it spurred from, but I just started looking at all the areas of my life in which I feel like I’m failing. And it seems like every few months, this list grows exponentially. And then I get incredibly overwhelmed by the list and this whole thing happens.
I’ve been experimenting with things that will rid me of this feeling. First and foremost, decluttering my online space. This probably attributed to the beginning of the downward spiral but ultimately, I think it will beneficial. The last time I tried to declutter my online space, I basically gave up and left a lot of loose ends all over the place. I had been defeated. This time, I’m determined not to be defeated.
In some cases, this means trying to clear up stuff on the web from over five years ago and I can hardly remember yesterday. It’s been a frustrating experience to say the least, although the more I get done, the better it feels. However, until it’s done, I just can’t seem to focus on anything.
So, that’s where I’m at. Unable to hold my focus, feeling sore, feeling old, and just a little worn out…