The Cleaning Never Ends

I’ve been having this problem for days now. Everyday when I wake up, the first thing I do is open my computer. Facebook, Twitter, FetLife and Google+ get opened first and sometimes this can take a little bit. I try not to get stuck on any one of them but instead try to hop back and forth between them. If I focus for too long, I start thinking too much.

Then I pop open WordPress and check through the stats on my blog(s). I check and see which posts, if any, are doing really good. I respond to any comments and then I often go to write. Usually, I just write and write and write until I feel content and then I hit publish without much thought. If I were writing this for you, dear reader, I might edit or spend more time on it. But I’m writing this for me, so… My standards are pretty low 😉

However, lately (I’m blaming it on my graveyard brain still), I just can’t seem to write anything that makes much sense. It all just reads back like gibberish to me…

https://plus.google.com/+ValerieRayne13/posts/DUAe8ef8i9y

We’ve been doing a lot of cleaning this week. Maybe even longer. It’s gotta be the warmer weather or something, but it is being just about the most challenging thing ever. I cannot get over how much time I’ve spent cleaning, how much effort everyone seems to be putting in, and how little of a change it seems to make.

It would all make more sense if we moved around the house more. But, we really don’t. I have my spot on the couch and a little table beside me. The Boyfriend sits right next to me and Carter normally right next to him. The older kids either sit on the floor or on the other couch. When they move, the only places they go are outside or up to their rooms. So, what I want to know, is how, if no one is spending time in the kitchen, how my kitchen always ends up as the messiest place in the house.

It would even make sense if we were cooking dinner in our kitchen on a regular basis, but recently, we’ve been ordering out a lot. We’ve been getting things you pop into the oven without any dishes. We’ve not been using our kitchen enough for it to make sense for there to be the mess that seems to be there everytime I wake up… It’s like destructive toddler elves are sneaking into our house while we sleep…

I am honestly so jealous of people with clean houses. I wish it were for lack of effort, because at least when it was that, I didn’t feel so terribly about the messes. But now, working my butt off day after day to keep some semblance of tidiness, and having it all be for naught, I just feel utterly ashamed of it. I don’t know how anyone ever has done this at any point of time… And I am so jealous of the people who can.

All that being said, I know from experience that the only way to get through it all is to just keep cleaning and just keep smiling. I’m doing everything in my power to ensure that I don’t let the constant repetitiveness get me down, because if I don’t keep on the messes, I’m terrified to find out what I’ll wake up to next!!! Plus, I know that eventually it will pass and it won’t seem so hard for at least a little while.

I’m going to say it’s weather-related and it’s the adjusting to a new season. Once we’re fully into Spring, it’ll be fine and then when we transition into Summer, it’ll get a little out of control again and then it’ll be fine. That thought brings me a great deal of comfort.

Well, I know that there’s tons more to write about but my brain is now officially on cleaning, so I might as well get up and start that before I have to go get all the brats from school. Hoping the sunshine sticks around for my walk.

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This Has Never Happened…

With The Boyfriend on graveyards and the older three kids gone to their Dad’s, we’ve been doing a lot of lazing and vegetating. For the most part, I’ve been playing The Sims 4 and listening to a lot of music.

A new expansion came out for The Sims 4, which I went crazy tweeting and Instagram-ing about, because I was incredibly excited.

View this post on Instagram

It's happening!! #TheSims4 #TS4 #Get2Work

A post shared by Valerie Rayne (@valerierayne) on

They’ve finally added some things that I’ve personally never gotten to play before. I’m relatively new to The Sims franchise for PC, and have really only had a lot of experience for consoles. So I’m getting to try my hand at a lot of things that I’ve always wanted to try in The Sims – like going to work with my sim or running a business of my own.

I even added a place of my own to The Gallery, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. I’m working on writing up a more detailed piece on that over here.

And music…

Recently, Grooveshark updated their entire site. I’ve been using Grooveshark for quite awhile and I don’t remember how I found it or why I chose it over all the other options, but with this recent update and where it looks like it’s going, I’m glad I use it. So, I’ve been going around updating all my stuff there and this has resulted in a lot of listening.

From the two eclectic pieces that I’ve shared on Google+:

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/47Gdy5vBX6z

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/1cHvhgujb59

And the new playlists that I’ve started working on (here and here) and my favorites. I’ve just been listening and adding and creating and editing like crazy on Grooveshark.

Tomorrow the kids finally come home. I keep saying that it’s a good thing too, because maybe it will finally be quiet around here. Carter has been so talkative since they’ve been gone that it’s rarely quiet. And when he’s not talking, he’s beatboxing. And while I love both of those things greatly, it gets tired after 8 hours straight…

Then, we get to go for Easter Dinner tomorrow night and see some people we haven’t seen in years and finally, I get to see my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I only get to see them about once a year, so it’s always a pretty big deal.

Honestly, this last week and this upcoming week are probably going to end up being my favorite two weeks of this year. Lots of goodness happening, lots of lack of stress, I feel pretty darn content.

This has never happened…

Countdown to Christmas Mumbo Jumbo

https://plus.google.com/u/0/105628325690137814860/posts/SAoeGUePbp9

My brain is seriously so filled up with stuff. It’s hard to differentiate, at this point, what the stuff that I need to retain is and isn’t. It’s my own fault really.

I can never tell if I really like this brain-filled state or if I really despise it. It’s almost a constant fluctuation between love and hate and maybe that adds to the brain-filled state. Back in the guitar ownership days, this would be a great time to be writing songs. Back in the coding obsession days, this would be a great time to be coding. In today’s day, it’s mostly just thinking and writing a lot about what I want to do and plan to do.

And that’s the part that is most frustrating about it all. Again, it’s my own fault really…

It seems to keep starting with Wikipedia. I go there to find out one thing, just one simple thing. It’s just something I want a quick answer to or that I’m curious about. Today, it was Oak Island because the last time I was at my Mom’s, there were these commercials about the show The Curse of Oak Island and then today, I read an article about Oak Island. Next thing you know, I’m reading all about the Ark of the Covenant and the Torah and Judiasm. You all remember what happened the last time I went on Wikipedia…

That is the start of the brain filling. Today and for everyday since the beginning of September, the kids have been in hardcore countdown mode for Christmas. I know for sure that I’ve talked about this before and in many different ways, but we are not celebrators of holidays. We’d like to be, but it’s hard to find a reason to when you have no religious or cultural reasons to do so, aside from capitalism. That’s a whole other rant for a completely different time (possibly even a completely different forum, and from a completely different person)…

Anyways, the countdown for Christmas is always this really rough time on my brain, because there is just so much to do. It starts with basically allowing everyone around me to plan what the kids are going to do for Christmas. Although it always really stresses me out, I’m always really thankful at the end of the year that the kids are surrounded by all this family. They go to their Dad’s, and their grandparents and ever since The Boyfriend and I have been together, we go as a family to at least two gatherings every Christmas, so planning all that – or rather, complying to others plans.

Then, the kids nag constantly about presents. They’ve all been on top of us every single day about getting their presents and what they want. Thinking about adding additional toys to their already over-flowing toy box is overwhelming to say the least. I know, I know – get rid of the old toys (I’m working on it). Thinking about all that money that doesn’t need to be spent, especially being that if I were a meaner parent, Santa would give my kids coal…

Every year, we get almost like a Christmas hamper from the school. Today, ours arrived. It took the focus off of the present (phew!) and now they are all over me about getting a Christmas tree. I keep pointing out to them that (a) You don’t need a tree to celebrate Christmas and (b) Last year, we didn’t even set up our Christmas tree until Christmas Eve and in the morning all of their present were there, just like they had been every single year before. I know that the reason they’re freaking out a little about it is that we had a Christmas tree in a box last year, but we had to throw that one away and haven’t bought another one yet. But again, refer to (a)…

And finally, the biggest stressor of the countdown to Christmas is the school concert. Last year, it was a disaster. One kid didn’t even make his performance, The Boyfriend missed the entire thing and the whole thing was seriously just a mess. The school sets it up weird and it’s a confusing thing to endure and it’s a night I’m supposed to be enjoying as a parent, but instead, ugh! And this year, I will have no other adults there with me – everyone has to work. Normally it’s The Boyfriend or my Mom, but this year, just me… Just thinking about it is making my pulse race. It is probably the most stressful night of the year…

I know, I’m like a big ole scrooge, grinchin’ it up. And I really seriously do hate that part of me, hate that I’m like that. It’s just one of those things I’ve never been able to kind of get over. And if I didn’t have kids, it wouldn’t matter at all and no one would think anything of it. But because I have kids, the whole game changes. And eventually, I’ll come to terms with that without question. However, until then, it will just be this thing that eats away at my holiday cheer.

Add on top of all that Christmas mumbo jumbo that I have about a million things that I’ve now decided I’m just going to call resolutions (even though, every year, I go through this spiel about how I don’t believe in resolutions and refuse to set any, and then go about setting them anyways, so it’s really no different; save for the fact that I’m no longer living in denial…), and I’m determined to do more than just talk about doing them.

However, that list is growing exponentially every single day and I’m starting to worry that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day… Can I just say again, “My brain feels like it’s going to explode a little bit…“?