Series of Amazing Days

I love when a series of days just goes so well. I mean, it hasn’t been perfect. The kids have been beyond irritating these last couple of days, mainly the boys. They have too much energy, too much strength, too much sudden emotion – it’s freaking exhausting. But save for the boys being brats, it’s been wonderful.

First, the weather has been blissful. It’s been hot, the sun has been shining bright and even though we all get a little bitchy about the heat at night, it’s so great. We’ve been desperate to get out of the house a lot, although it’s not being as easy as we’d like with The Boyfriend and his sleep schedule right now.

Today, we decided to wake up early and hit the beach. Best day ever! We missed our turn and ended up having to take a detour to The Boyfriend’s old hometown and he always enjoys doing that so much. He loves to show off all his favorite teenage haunts. Then, we got to the beach and almost immediately the kids were in the water.

The Boyfriend and I built sand castles together and then separately. He always gets a huge kick out of it, I never seem to be able to realize my vision. I had more fun tearing mine down than putting it up. We played at the beach for a good two hours and then headed back home.

The Boyfriend went for his sleep when we got home and the kids sat down to watch some Netflix quietly. Within thirty minutes, everyone but Kaeidyn was falling asleep where they sat. Keirnan and I dozed off for a good two hours, Kenzie slept almost the rest of the night and Carter probably slept for about an hour. It was amazing!!

The Boyfriend just has tonight left and then he’s got two days off. I’m so looking forward to getting a good night of sleep next to my man. I plan to go to bed early so that the night goes by faster. Hopefully we have more amazing series of days this summer.

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10 Times My Kids Were Hilarious!

Over the years on social media, I have tracked various funny or quirky things that my kids have said. Tonight, I was going through old Facebook and Twitter posts and among a variety of great gems (like this shot), I found some seriously funny things.

So, I thought it would be fun to share with you 10 times that my kids made me laugh out loud.

  1. Not Sure What “Dagged” Means

  2. Don’t Mess With the Bacon

  3. For When Barbie Goes Ziplining

  4. I Keep Saying “Definition of Insanity”…

  5. Turn on the Lights

  6. Kids, Dating and Breakups

  7. Sprite or Water on the Face

  8. He Claims “I Help!”

  9. A Variation of “Who’s on First”

  10. Exciting Attitude Girl

The Last Week…

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last wrote… It’s not for lack of things to write about or even a lack of desire to write about them, I just haven’t had a chance to get on my computer at all this last week. And then when I have had the chance, it’s the very last thing I’ve wanted to do.

This last week has been incredibly stressful. First, The Boyfriend went back to work after having a week off and he’s officially back on graveyards. I cannot tell you how mixed my emotions surrounding this have been. Then, we had our bi-annual inspection today and that always brings me more stress than is necessary.

I’ve spent the last week in a total and exhausting funk. And we knew that it was going to happen, as it almost always does during inspection time, and I warned The Boyfriend ahead of time. Unfortunately, the first week back on graveyards is always all consuming and so there was a definite feeling of lacking support this week that just made everything so much worse than usual.

Kaeidyn and I were trading off the stress about the inspection for the entire week. One minute I’d be all worked up and then just as I’d start to calm, she’d get all worked up and we just kept going back and forth like that constantly.

Our house got incredibly cleaned, which is the good thing out of all of it. Our floor finally got the mopping it was desperately craving, the snow melted enough that we were able to clean up most of the yard and we’ve decided that eventually we’re doing a big dump of all the clothes that we’ve managed to amass in our basement – most of which have been in the basement for months…

I was so upset last night. I was up late finishing up the last little bits of cleaning before inspection day and all of a sudden I hear a sound. Next thing I know, Kenzie’s puking all over all the cleaning I had just finished. Today, all the boys had upset stomachs and headaches. I hate when they all get sick all at once, because it’s always that much more overwhelming. Although it’s nice that it’s over and done with quicker.

I’ve been neglecting all my computer-related stuff for the last week and haven’t even checked in on most of it, other than the notifications I get on my phone. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and I’ve decided that I really want to change my blog theme and update it a little and stuff. I feel like it needs it or something. But I imagine it will take a few days before I make an official decision and then it will take a week or two to get it all changed and set up the way I like. But I’m thinking about it…

I’ve also been spending some time reading through my blogs from four or five years ago and it’s giving me some ideas for posts in the future and some other stuff, so I imagine that’s going to be an interesting little thing to explore as I get re-acquainted with my computer, now that my funk can be over for a little bit now.

Last Two Days

I’ve been slacking so hard the last two days, just barely completing any of my absolutely-must-get-done to-do’s. And not for any good reasons like illness or whatnot, but mostly because of Netflix. One night, I spent the entire night watching the entire second season of #TheFall.

I’ve been getting the stuff done, but I’ve been rushing through it and leaving it to the last minute and I’ve even neglected to update a few things, mostly on purpose. I’m trying my hardest to avoid the dreaded burnout that I’m sure is bound to hit when it’s most inconvenient.

The next day, I spent almost all day reading and downloading stuff all over the place. I’m doing a lot of things that I was planning on not doing this year in my blogging life – just getting distracted on it all.

It probably doesn’t help much that the kids have all been begging for attention. The second The Boyfriend leaves his spot on the couch, they’re all fighting to sit on me and around me. And everyone wants to tell stories that go on endlessly. They are a constant barrage of noise.

Kaeidyn has gotten into the habit of trying to be sarcastic, except most of the time it just comes out sounding like she’s being a total douche. More than once she’s gotten in trouble for what she considered innocent bantering because the parents thought it sounded beyond rude.

Keirnan has been instigating all sorts of trouble lately. He’s always been really good at sneaking. He’s a quiet little dude and he knows it. Half the time, you’re screaming at one kid for something, just to find out that Keirnan was the one behind it all. Tonight as the boys are going to bed, Kenzie keeps laughing and the parents are getting mad at Kenzie. Go upstairs and watch for a few seconds, turns out Keirnan is sitting there tickling Kenzie.

Carter has been a neverending ball of energy ever since he got his stitches. He wakes up in the morning and he’s talking away and running all over the house. We’ve been walking to and from school together for months now and normally it’s a pretty silent walk save for the few times I tell him to hurry up. If I ask him questions, he’ll normally just not answer or will do something like, “Fine”. Lately, it’s been non-stop talking the whole way home.

The Boyfriend was recently asked if he’d go back on graveyard. It’s been a few years since he was permanently on it and has been doing about one or two nights every couple of months pretty much ever since leaving nights. They’ve told him that they want him to move up to the “next level” but he needs to do a year on nights first.

I don’t want to say no to him, but I don’t want to say yes either. I hate the idea of him going back on nights so much but not for any good reasons. Maybe I need to read back through some of the blogs from that time period, because I remember not liking it while he was doing it.

We haven’t really sat down to have a discussion about it, because there is still quite awhile to decide. They knew that he would want to talk to me about it before making a decision, so they asked quite awhile in advance. Thank goodness too, because I would not have to make that decision lightly.

So, that’s been my last two days in a nutshell. How has yours been?

Injury and Fever

Our house phone has been on the fritz lately. It basically hasn’t worked at all for the last month and we’re not exactly sure why. And everytime that we’re about to go out and buy a new phone or call our phone company, the thing suddenly starts working like they’re was never a problem.

I was never more grateful for this than I was yesterday. Just as I’m getting my boots on to go pick up the kids from school, after over a week of not ringing, the phone rings. It’s the school. Apparently, Carter had gone to the washroom and managed to hit his head and the school nurse was pretty sure he was going to need stitches. No one knew exactly what he had done.

I rushed down to the school as quick as my little legs would carry me and the school nurse offered to drive us up to the hospital. So thankful for that. We seriously need to get a vehicle… When I got to the school, they had a bandage wrapped about his head, so you couldn’t really see the damage done.

 

Carter in Bandages

Carter in Bandages

He was in surprisingly good spirits, talkative as always. We were told it would be a long wait but I thought it was just perfect. I had had just the right amount of time to keep myself from panicking. We got taken back to the minor treatment area and Carter was still doing so great. Talking away, telling stories to anyone who would listen, babbling to himself.

I did not expect the gash to be as big as it was. As they removed the bandage from his head, my hand covered the gasp as they revealed the cut. It was very deep and a lot larger than I had been prepared for. It took me awhile to get over that…

They put some freezing cream on his head first and that was on there for about 20 minutes. Then the doctor came in and Carter was very excited about the idea of getting a needle. When they jammed the needle into the open cut, he winced a little bit, but other than that, took it like a total champ. Didn’t cry at all and kept going off about how strong and brave he was.

They put 6-8 stitches on the inside, although none of us are sure because between the two nurses they brought in to hold him down, my Mom and I and the doctor, we were all cracking up laughing over Carter’s calm banter during this ordeal. He was having a great time. Then, 12 stitches on the outside. By this point, the freezing cream had started to wear off, so his skin was a little tender and couple times he tensed up, but other than it was easy as pie.

When he was done, he was hyper. He wanted to go places and do things and talk to his Dad. So, we left the hospital and went down to Wal-Mart to see The Boyfriend and pick up a few things for dinner and breakfast. Carter was bouncing off of walls by this point and we had a hard time keeping him from jumping into the way of other people.

He was very excited to see Daddy and this theme carried on for the rest of the night. When we got home, after a couple hours, he decided he was ready for bed. After sleeping for about half an hour, he woke up with a headache, as we expected. By this point, the gash had started to swell pretty bad and all Carter wanted was Daddy. He was crying so hard, “Please, call my Daddy!”. Just hearing his voice on the phone calmed him down enough to be able to give him some tylenol.

I had come home from the hospital to Kaeidyn complaining about her stomach. By the time Carter was needing tylenol, so was she as her stomach got worse and she started to get a fever. She kept me up most of the night last night with a pain in her stomach that she couldn’t describe, constant fluctuation between hot and cold and a mild fever. The 4 AM lukewarm bath seemed to do the trick and she slept until about 7 AM.

For the most part, she’s slept the day away. She’s still got a little bit of the fever but has stopped complaining about her stomach. And Carter has only complained about the bandaids, which seem to be pulling his hair a little bit. Other than that, he’s been a bundle of joy and has been helping take care of his sick sister and is his happy, normal self.

I didn’t start feeling the stress of the day yesterday until close to midnight and then it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so overwhelmed all of a sudden and I kept telling/asking myself that I had already done the hardest parts of the day, what was I freaking out about, but just could not quiet the stressed out feeling. By the time we went to bed, I just felt angry at the entire world. I was relieved beyond belief to wake up this morning and not feel any of those things. It’s incredible what stress can do to a person.

Now, it’s time to get to some computer work while I let the kids veg for a little while longer and then, dishes and dinner. Cannot wait for bed tonight, that’s for sure!

Venting All The Kid Stuff…

Ugh! My son has a terrible speech impetement. And you know how, as a mother, you never notice these things until their pointed out to you, because well, you know – they’re your kids and are perfect and wonderful and beautiful and could do nothing wrong!

I knew Carter had a speech impetement. It’s always been obvious. But, as is Mom, I’ve always been able to understand it. Most of his problem is learnt bad habits from Keirnan, who also had a pretty severe delay. What I couldn’t understand of what Carter was saying, Keirnan could easily translate.

Then Kindergarten started and we requested speech therapy. It took them awhile to finally get into it, but we recently got the first official report from the speech therapist.

Paperwork in regards to the kids is something that I don’t normally pay much attention to. All of the older three were born at really low weights and so immediately got reports of things like “in the10th percentile” or “below average”. I’m used to getting this kind of paperwork on the kids and I mostly just pass it off. If they’re healthy and happy, then who cares if they’re in the top 10 or the bottom. They’re too young for that kind of pressure and so am I.

So, all four of the kids now have been in speech therapy. Kaeidyn and Kenzie were both to work on one letter sound and that was it, basically just an intensive in sound reproduction for them. Keirnan had a moderate-to-severe delay, and after just over 2 years of work on it has graduted out of speech delay. Carter on the other hand…

His report was terrible. Beyond terrible. He didn’t even make it into the 1% category. All of his scores were very low and the written sections where they describe the issue were the hardest part of all to read. “Severe phonetic delay” and other such terrifying phrases were used.

And on that day, I was able to basically shrug my shoulders. Yes, I read it all. Yes, I agreed with every word. But to me, a “severe phonetic delay” can be fixed and isn’t this huge epic problem. It’s something that it’s like, “Okay now we know. What are we going to do?”, and it’s just one persons opinion.

But more and more and more, I’m noticing how bad it is with Carter. And for the most part, it’s just plain laziness. He’s gotten used to talking with his tongue all up in his teeth’s space and doesn’t even think to pull it back to make the right sounds. And that tongue is causing all sorts of issues when he actually is trying to make the right sounds. And his tongue is not that big…

Before it was pointed out to me, I could understand him. Now that it’s been pointed out to me, I can’t help but hear the “severe phonetic delay”, and frankly, it’s driving me all sorts of nuts!

That being said, for the first time ever, you can see that he’s actually putting some thought into the words that he’s saying and trying harder than we’ve ever been able to get him to, to try and make some of the right letter sounds. I’ve found that to be one thing for sure – my kids do better with speech therapists than parents.

Every single one of them, when we try to get them to do anything speech related, it’s like pulling teeth. We can use all the same techniques, all the same tools, all the same everything and for some reason, it just doesn’t click in their little brains. Sit them down with a speech therapist and even after just one session, you can see an immediate improvement.

You know how long we would put our fingers up to our lips to make the “sh” sound with each and every one of the kids? Carter especially! And each and every time, it was “No, I don’t want to do that!”, “No, I want to say it my way!”, “No!”. After one session with the speech therapist, Carter comes home from school and as he’s saying something with the “sh” sound to start, he lifts up his finger to his lips and expertly “sh”s us.

In other kid-related news, Kaeidyn has been incredibly talkative lately. She almost never stops and while that’s not really new for her, for some reason the parents are not dealing well with it. I’ve complained to The Boyfriend multiple days in a row now about accidentally snapping at Kaeidyn, not for being bad or doing anything wrong, just because she doesn’t stop talking.

She doesn’t know when to stop, is probably the more accurate way of putting it. I’ll be getting mad at her brothers and she’ll decide that is the perfect time to put her two cents in – and they are never productive two cents, they are always pennies that result in further arguements. Or The Boyfriend and I will be discussing something like what day we’re going to pay bills and she’ll suddenly starting adding things to our neverending to-do list that we don’t actually need to do.

Today, I swear that she talked for an hour straight. The Boyfriend had just gotten home from work and as usual, we’re updating each other about our days. He starts telling me about something at work, and she breaks in and starts asking questions. Then, as he’s trying to answer the question, she breaks in and starts going off about one of the words he used in his sentence. He brings her back to his answer and she breaks in with a new question about another topic. So, they change subject and again, everytime she asks him something and he starts answering, she breaks in with something. This went on for the whole hour before he finally threw up his hands and said he needed her to stop.

He lasted at least 45 minutes longer than I would’ve…

Kenzie has been on the worst emotional rollercoaster ride. He’s at the prime age for it right now, where the littlest thing can set him off into an angry rage or throw him into a whiny fit. We are all absolutely terrible for teasing him when he gets really outrageous and he’s often heard “When are you going to start your period already?!?”, which seems to be a common theme around our house right now because Kaeidyn is so desperate to get hers already!

The only kid who is being the same ole same ole and not going through some traumatizing-for-the-parents stage of his life is Keirnan. He is not going through anything right now other than his usual stuff. Oh, he is getting three new teeth in, which we’re very excited about. He had four of his top front teeth pulled when he was about 3 and one of them is finally coming in. That’s about it for him.

Sometimes, it just feels so good to vent about the kids!

It’s finally over!!

Christmas, that is. I’m more excited about the end of Christmas than Christmas itself. The older kids left around noon on Christmas day and aside from the constant “I’m bored” from Carter, it’s been beautifully quiet and relatively relaxing.

Christmas was really good too. The Boyfriend ended up doing all the shopping this year during his lunch breaks in the 2 or 3 days leading up to Christmas. He really spoilt the kids like crazy. Kaeidyn got a stereo and a huge makeup kit, Kenzie got lots of lego stuff, Keirnan got Transformers stuff (“just like I wanted”) and Carter got some Minecraft stuff. They were all through the moon with their gifts. I got a cellphone from The Boyfriend, mostly because our house phone crapped out and we both got a new set of dishes.

After the older kids left to their Dad’s house, The Boyfriend, Carter and I went over to his sister’s place for a delicious turkey dinner. It was so different from how it normally works going over – typically there’s about 5 adults and 8 kids and you leave with such a headache from all the noise. This time, there was 4 adults and 2 kids and we left and everyone was quiet and no one had a headache. It was so different.

Today I dedicided, kind of out of the blue, to go over to my Mom’s for a little bit. I just felt a little cooped up and spur of the moment asked if she’d be down for company. That was a nice little bit of time out of the house. Ran into some people from what feels like a really long time ago and spent a little bit of the day in a funk over that and then watched one too many hours of Oprah, so now I’m in that state of kind of heartbroken hope (hopeful heartbreak?) that she has the ability to put me in.

I’ve got lots of stuff that I’m supposed to be doing. I said, when I came back to blogging, that I wasn’t going to do this again and then… Since I’m such a good little blog-a-holic, did exactly what I set out not to do. Although, I’m not doing it in my personal blogging, which I guess means I mostly succeeded.

On my immediate to-do list is add the finishing couple of sentences to two draft posts, queue up three posts, create and add a total of ten to twelve images to those three posts and that’s just what I need to get done in the next 3 or 4 hours. Tomorrow, I have to get to work on writing challenges and for some reason, I just can’t make myself focus on it for anything. Planning all of it, I’m doing great and I’m so organized and that whole part of it is working out beautifully and exactly as planned (yes I plan my planning, don’t you?!?). But actually doing it all… Just need to breathe and get to it!

I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to getting 2015 underway. I normally look forward to the coming year because it means the horrible year that has just happened will finally be over. 2014 wasn’t an altogether terrible year. We didn’t have nearly as much drama this year as we have in years past, our finances weren’t as dire as they have been in years past and even parenting, while not by any means easier, wasn’t as challenging as it has been in the past. So instead of looking forward to 2015 to escape the tragedy that was 2014, I’m actually looking forward to 2015 to continue on the decency that was 2014.

It’s a very different way of thinking for me…

A Few of My Favorite Things

Favorite Posts So Far

It’s officially been about six months since I came back from my big long blogging hiatus. In that time, on this blog alone, I’ve written 40 posts (counting this one). So, I thought it would be fun to take a look back on some of my favorite posts over the last year, not only on this blog but also on My Bucket List, my Pictures & Videos and my Writing & Erotica.

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Rants (this blog)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Writes (Writing & Erotica)

For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Lists (My Bucket List)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Pics (My Pictures & Videos)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Now that I’ve shared all my favorites with you, I’d love for you to share yours with me. I’d also like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading and following. I especially want to thank those who have commented on my posts and the valuable insights you have often given me. Thank you so much for the likes and I hope we keep on having them 😉

Expected the Worse for Nothing

So, for all my moaning, the Christmas concert was actually a big success. I spent all day yesterday in an absolutely state of funk, just dreading what was ahead of me. The kids started getting ready ridiculously early and all looked so cute dressed up in their ties and dress shirts and dresses.

Kaeidyn was really upset with me right before we left. She tried walking out of the house wearing my high heel shoes. If they fit her properly, I probably wouldn’t have stopped her. But they’re about 3 sizes too big for her and honestly, a little inappropriate looking for a 10-year-old. I told her she wasn’t wearing them and for the rest of the night, the only response I got from her was pouting.

We arrived at the school with half an hour or so to spare before the concert got started. I ended up being incredibly grateful for it, because I got my choice in seats, the kids were all in their classrooms before the concert even started and all in all, it went rather smoothly.

Carter was up first. I already knew going into it which songs they were performing, but I wasn’t expecting him to whip out bells and start ringing them during his performance. As he’s up there singing and rocking out with his bells, brought a little tear to my eye. It’s hard to believe that I no longer have any babies…

I went and picked him up from his class during intermission and we both came back to the spots I had saved us and the next performance was Kenzie. Kenzie has gotten really into singing lately, and I swear you could hear him at the back of the gym. Then, it was Keirnan and he was happy to put on a show. The second part of the concert concluded with Kenzie and Keirnan singing in the choir and Carter absolutely loved watching their performance.

Last, but definitely not least, Kaeidyn was up. Both Carter and I were getting pretty restless by this point and he would not sit still for anything. As usual, Kaeidyn was perfection. She stood elegantly through her entire performance, she sang loud and proud and you could even see her encouraging her friends on either side of her. She sure is growing into quite the little girl.

The hardest part of the night was walking home in the dark of 8:30 with the wind whistling and the temperature being at least -25. My nose felt cold for hours after getting home. Two of the kids were grumpy and tired, so there was lots of whining and two of them were active and running all over the place, so there was lots of frustration coming from me. But we made it home and all in all, it was a great night.

Almost as soon as we got home, the kids had to go to bed because they still had school today. It was probably the fastest all four of them have fallen asleep at one time. While I waited for The Boyfriend to get home, I continued watching Nip/Tuck, which I recently started on Netflix, along with Grey’s Anatomy – both shows I never watched when they were on TV.

We didn’t get to bed until sometime around 3 AM, something that has been a common theme this week, as The Boyfriend’s been working lots of late night shifts. It’s hard to fall asleep at a decent hour when he doesn’t get home until midnight. And yes, I could technically go to bed before he gets off work, but it’s just not how we’ve ever rolled. Then, when we did go to bed, it took me a really long time to fall asleep. I just could not get comfortable, he was being a huge bed hog and sleep was just not coming easy for me.

By the time I did fall asleep, I felt like it was only minutes until I was up dealing with the kids as each one of them appeared at my bedroom door asking various questions. Once they left, I feel asleep really easily and ended sleeping over half the day away. When I did get woken up, to the sound of Carter talking to Minecraft, I couldn’t believe I had slept that long. Slowly dragged my butt out of bed and here I am.

Tomorrow, we’re heading down to my Mom’s for dinner. Not only am I looking forward to it because of delicious dinner and time with family, but we’re also planning on doing our Christmas shopping. The Boyfriend, for some reason, is very excited about it. I think it’s probably because he works where we’re shopping and therefore already has a plan on what he’s getting everyone. I hope that’s why anyways, because I have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas…

And now, it’s Christmas break, so two weeks with the kids. It should be interesting 😉

Early Day – Not Sure How I Feel…

The Boyfriend and I had vowed last night to go to bed early and wake up early. We’ve actually vowed this almost every single night for at least a week, although we’ve failed miserably everyday so far. We almost failed last night too, when we claimed we would watch some TV at 10 PM and be in bed by midnight. 10 PM rolled around and we were both heavily into our separate activities and so time continued to tick on. By 2 AM, we were finally heading up to bed.

Sleeping did not come easy. It was too hot and then it was too cold. The kids have all been going in and out of being sick these last few days and I’m almost sure I’ve caught some part of one of their colds. I felt stuffed up and like I needed to cough but couldn’t. To make it all worse, The Boyfriend was being an epic bed hog, even after I asked him to move over three times. Sleep came very easily for him…

Once I did fall asleep, it was a very sound sleep. Until sometime before my alarm went off this morning, when I was awoken to the shrill sounds of my daughter’s voice as she screamed at the boys to get ready. I don’t know why she does this. On a day when they wake up with my alarm, they have an hour to get ready for school in the morning. Today, they had to have at least an hour and a half. No matter, she gets up right away and immediately starts screaming at everyone to get ready. Most mornings, I come down and tell her she needs to relax, because boys don’t take that long to get ready.

So, as I kick my feet and moan at the frustration of being woken up like this for yet another day, The Boyfriend says “Roll and let me snuggle you for half an hour”. He had to work this morning, we vowed to be up early. Half an hour more wasn’t going to ruin that. I rolled and began to get all comfy as he pressed his warm skin against my back and wrapped his arm around my body. And as my eyes began to close, I had a mini freak out about how this half an hour sleep was going to completely ruin my vow to be up early. Then, she screamed again.

In a huff, I rolled and kicked my feet once more. I sat up and insisted that we ditch the idea of sleeping in any later. It took forever for us to actually leave our bed, but we were up before 8 AM today and made it downstairs shortly after 8:30. So vow, completed. It was not easy, it was not pretty and I’m still not sure that I’m completely awake, but it’s done.

I want to be the type of person who finds this waking up thing to be a little easier. I want to wake up in the morning, not the afternoon. I want to go to bed at a decent enough hour that I’m still getting at least the required amount of sleep. I want to go to bed feeling tired and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed. Instead, I just feel wiped out all the time and sleep half the day away…

I always think back to my pre-14-year-old morning routine. I used to easily wake up at 4 AM every single day of the week. I’d do an hour long workout with Alyssa Milano’s Teen Steam (because it was the only video I owned and basically, I just needed background sound) and then it would be an hour in a nice hot bath. Then, the rest of the morning would be dedicated to catching up on any homework I had to do for school that day. I loved that morning routine so much and I want it back bad. Not necessarily the 4 AM and not necessarily Teen Steam, but you know what I mean!!

I just need to get on it and create a routine, because this is driving me nuts…