Series of Amazing Days

I love when a series of days just goes so well. I mean, it hasn’t been perfect. The kids have been beyond irritating these last couple of days, mainly the boys. They have too much energy, too much strength, too much sudden emotion – it’s freaking exhausting. But save for the boys being brats, it’s been wonderful.

First, the weather has been blissful. It’s been hot, the sun has been shining bright and even though we all get a little bitchy about the heat at night, it’s so great. We’ve been desperate to get out of the house a lot, although it’s not being as easy as we’d like with The Boyfriend and his sleep schedule right now.

Today, we decided to wake up early and hit the beach. Best day ever! We missed our turn and ended up having to take a detour to The Boyfriend’s old hometown and he always enjoys doing that so much. He loves to show off all his favorite teenage haunts. Then, we got to the beach and almost immediately the kids were in the water.

The Boyfriend and I built sand castles together and then separately. He always gets a huge kick out of it, I never seem to be able to realize my vision. I had more fun tearing mine down than putting it up. We played at the beach for a good two hours and then headed back home.

The Boyfriend went for his sleep when we got home and the kids sat down to watch some Netflix quietly. Within thirty minutes, everyone but Kaeidyn was falling asleep where they sat. Keirnan and I dozed off for a good two hours, Kenzie slept almost the rest of the night and Carter probably slept for about an hour. It was amazing!!

The Boyfriend just has tonight left and then he’s got two days off. I’m so looking forward to getting a good night of sleep next to my man. I plan to go to bed early so that the night goes by faster. Hopefully we have more amazing series of days this summer.

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10 Times My Kids Were Hilarious!

Over the years on social media, I have tracked various funny or quirky things that my kids have said. Tonight, I was going through old Facebook and Twitter posts and among a variety of great gems (like this shot), I found some seriously funny things.

So, I thought it would be fun to share with you 10 times that my kids made me laugh out loud.

  1. Not Sure What “Dagged” Means

  2. Don’t Mess With the Bacon

  3. For When Barbie Goes Ziplining

  4. I Keep Saying “Definition of Insanity”…

  5. Turn on the Lights

  6. Kids, Dating and Breakups

  7. Sprite or Water on the Face

  8. He Claims “I Help!”

  9. A Variation of “Who’s on First”

  10. Exciting Attitude Girl

Last Two Days

I’ve been slacking so hard the last two days, just barely completing any of my absolutely-must-get-done to-do’s. And not for any good reasons like illness or whatnot, but mostly because of Netflix. One night, I spent the entire night watching the entire second season of #TheFall.

I’ve been getting the stuff done, but I’ve been rushing through it and leaving it to the last minute and I’ve even neglected to update a few things, mostly on purpose. I’m trying my hardest to avoid the dreaded burnout that I’m sure is bound to hit when it’s most inconvenient.

The next day, I spent almost all day reading and downloading stuff all over the place. I’m doing a lot of things that I was planning on not doing this year in my blogging life – just getting distracted on it all.

It probably doesn’t help much that the kids have all been begging for attention. The second The Boyfriend leaves his spot on the couch, they’re all fighting to sit on me and around me. And everyone wants to tell stories that go on endlessly. They are a constant barrage of noise.

Kaeidyn has gotten into the habit of trying to be sarcastic, except most of the time it just comes out sounding like she’s being a total douche. More than once she’s gotten in trouble for what she considered innocent bantering because the parents thought it sounded beyond rude.

Keirnan has been instigating all sorts of trouble lately. He’s always been really good at sneaking. He’s a quiet little dude and he knows it. Half the time, you’re screaming at one kid for something, just to find out that Keirnan was the one behind it all. Tonight as the boys are going to bed, Kenzie keeps laughing and the parents are getting mad at Kenzie. Go upstairs and watch for a few seconds, turns out Keirnan is sitting there tickling Kenzie.

Carter has been a neverending ball of energy ever since he got his stitches. He wakes up in the morning and he’s talking away and running all over the house. We’ve been walking to and from school together for months now and normally it’s a pretty silent walk save for the few times I tell him to hurry up. If I ask him questions, he’ll normally just not answer or will do something like, “Fine”. Lately, it’s been non-stop talking the whole way home.

The Boyfriend was recently asked if he’d go back on graveyard. It’s been a few years since he was permanently on it and has been doing about one or two nights every couple of months pretty much ever since leaving nights. They’ve told him that they want him to move up to the “next level” but he needs to do a year on nights first.

I don’t want to say no to him, but I don’t want to say yes either. I hate the idea of him going back on nights so much but not for any good reasons. Maybe I need to read back through some of the blogs from that time period, because I remember not liking it while he was doing it.

We haven’t really sat down to have a discussion about it, because there is still quite awhile to decide. They knew that he would want to talk to me about it before making a decision, so they asked quite awhile in advance. Thank goodness too, because I would not have to make that decision lightly.

So, that’s been my last two days in a nutshell. How has yours been?

Venting All The Kid Stuff…

Ugh! My son has a terrible speech impetement. And you know how, as a mother, you never notice these things until their pointed out to you, because well, you know – they’re your kids and are perfect and wonderful and beautiful and could do nothing wrong!

I knew Carter had a speech impetement. It’s always been obvious. But, as is Mom, I’ve always been able to understand it. Most of his problem is learnt bad habits from Keirnan, who also had a pretty severe delay. What I couldn’t understand of what Carter was saying, Keirnan could easily translate.

Then Kindergarten started and we requested speech therapy. It took them awhile to finally get into it, but we recently got the first official report from the speech therapist.

Paperwork in regards to the kids is something that I don’t normally pay much attention to. All of the older three were born at really low weights and so immediately got reports of things like “in the10th percentile” or “below average”. I’m used to getting this kind of paperwork on the kids and I mostly just pass it off. If they’re healthy and happy, then who cares if they’re in the top 10 or the bottom. They’re too young for that kind of pressure and so am I.

So, all four of the kids now have been in speech therapy. Kaeidyn and Kenzie were both to work on one letter sound and that was it, basically just an intensive in sound reproduction for them. Keirnan had a moderate-to-severe delay, and after just over 2 years of work on it has graduted out of speech delay. Carter on the other hand…

His report was terrible. Beyond terrible. He didn’t even make it into the 1% category. All of his scores were very low and the written sections where they describe the issue were the hardest part of all to read. “Severe phonetic delay” and other such terrifying phrases were used.

And on that day, I was able to basically shrug my shoulders. Yes, I read it all. Yes, I agreed with every word. But to me, a “severe phonetic delay” can be fixed and isn’t this huge epic problem. It’s something that it’s like, “Okay now we know. What are we going to do?”, and it’s just one persons opinion.

But more and more and more, I’m noticing how bad it is with Carter. And for the most part, it’s just plain laziness. He’s gotten used to talking with his tongue all up in his teeth’s space and doesn’t even think to pull it back to make the right sounds. And that tongue is causing all sorts of issues when he actually is trying to make the right sounds. And his tongue is not that big…

Before it was pointed out to me, I could understand him. Now that it’s been pointed out to me, I can’t help but hear the “severe phonetic delay”, and frankly, it’s driving me all sorts of nuts!

That being said, for the first time ever, you can see that he’s actually putting some thought into the words that he’s saying and trying harder than we’ve ever been able to get him to, to try and make some of the right letter sounds. I’ve found that to be one thing for sure – my kids do better with speech therapists than parents.

Every single one of them, when we try to get them to do anything speech related, it’s like pulling teeth. We can use all the same techniques, all the same tools, all the same everything and for some reason, it just doesn’t click in their little brains. Sit them down with a speech therapist and even after just one session, you can see an immediate improvement.

You know how long we would put our fingers up to our lips to make the “sh” sound with each and every one of the kids? Carter especially! And each and every time, it was “No, I don’t want to do that!”, “No, I want to say it my way!”, “No!”. After one session with the speech therapist, Carter comes home from school and as he’s saying something with the “sh” sound to start, he lifts up his finger to his lips and expertly “sh”s us.

In other kid-related news, Kaeidyn has been incredibly talkative lately. She almost never stops and while that’s not really new for her, for some reason the parents are not dealing well with it. I’ve complained to The Boyfriend multiple days in a row now about accidentally snapping at Kaeidyn, not for being bad or doing anything wrong, just because she doesn’t stop talking.

She doesn’t know when to stop, is probably the more accurate way of putting it. I’ll be getting mad at her brothers and she’ll decide that is the perfect time to put her two cents in – and they are never productive two cents, they are always pennies that result in further arguements. Or The Boyfriend and I will be discussing something like what day we’re going to pay bills and she’ll suddenly starting adding things to our neverending to-do list that we don’t actually need to do.

Today, I swear that she talked for an hour straight. The Boyfriend had just gotten home from work and as usual, we’re updating each other about our days. He starts telling me about something at work, and she breaks in and starts asking questions. Then, as he’s trying to answer the question, she breaks in and starts going off about one of the words he used in his sentence. He brings her back to his answer and she breaks in with a new question about another topic. So, they change subject and again, everytime she asks him something and he starts answering, she breaks in with something. This went on for the whole hour before he finally threw up his hands and said he needed her to stop.

He lasted at least 45 minutes longer than I would’ve…

Kenzie has been on the worst emotional rollercoaster ride. He’s at the prime age for it right now, where the littlest thing can set him off into an angry rage or throw him into a whiny fit. We are all absolutely terrible for teasing him when he gets really outrageous and he’s often heard “When are you going to start your period already?!?”, which seems to be a common theme around our house right now because Kaeidyn is so desperate to get hers already!

The only kid who is being the same ole same ole and not going through some traumatizing-for-the-parents stage of his life is Keirnan. He is not going through anything right now other than his usual stuff. Oh, he is getting three new teeth in, which we’re very excited about. He had four of his top front teeth pulled when he was about 3 and one of them is finally coming in. That’s about it for him.

Sometimes, it just feels so good to vent about the kids!

It’s finally over!!

Christmas, that is. I’m more excited about the end of Christmas than Christmas itself. The older kids left around noon on Christmas day and aside from the constant “I’m bored” from Carter, it’s been beautifully quiet and relatively relaxing.

Christmas was really good too. The Boyfriend ended up doing all the shopping this year during his lunch breaks in the 2 or 3 days leading up to Christmas. He really spoilt the kids like crazy. Kaeidyn got a stereo and a huge makeup kit, Kenzie got lots of lego stuff, Keirnan got Transformers stuff (“just like I wanted”) and Carter got some Minecraft stuff. They were all through the moon with their gifts. I got a cellphone from The Boyfriend, mostly because our house phone crapped out and we both got a new set of dishes.

After the older kids left to their Dad’s house, The Boyfriend, Carter and I went over to his sister’s place for a delicious turkey dinner. It was so different from how it normally works going over – typically there’s about 5 adults and 8 kids and you leave with such a headache from all the noise. This time, there was 4 adults and 2 kids and we left and everyone was quiet and no one had a headache. It was so different.

Today I dedicided, kind of out of the blue, to go over to my Mom’s for a little bit. I just felt a little cooped up and spur of the moment asked if she’d be down for company. That was a nice little bit of time out of the house. Ran into some people from what feels like a really long time ago and spent a little bit of the day in a funk over that and then watched one too many hours of Oprah, so now I’m in that state of kind of heartbroken hope (hopeful heartbreak?) that she has the ability to put me in.

I’ve got lots of stuff that I’m supposed to be doing. I said, when I came back to blogging, that I wasn’t going to do this again and then… Since I’m such a good little blog-a-holic, did exactly what I set out not to do. Although, I’m not doing it in my personal blogging, which I guess means I mostly succeeded.

On my immediate to-do list is add the finishing couple of sentences to two draft posts, queue up three posts, create and add a total of ten to twelve images to those three posts and that’s just what I need to get done in the next 3 or 4 hours. Tomorrow, I have to get to work on writing challenges and for some reason, I just can’t make myself focus on it for anything. Planning all of it, I’m doing great and I’m so organized and that whole part of it is working out beautifully and exactly as planned (yes I plan my planning, don’t you?!?). But actually doing it all… Just need to breathe and get to it!

I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to getting 2015 underway. I normally look forward to the coming year because it means the horrible year that has just happened will finally be over. 2014 wasn’t an altogether terrible year. We didn’t have nearly as much drama this year as we have in years past, our finances weren’t as dire as they have been in years past and even parenting, while not by any means easier, wasn’t as challenging as it has been in the past. So instead of looking forward to 2015 to escape the tragedy that was 2014, I’m actually looking forward to 2015 to continue on the decency that was 2014.

It’s a very different way of thinking for me…

A Few of My Favorite Things

Favorite Posts So Far

It’s officially been about six months since I came back from my big long blogging hiatus. In that time, on this blog alone, I’ve written 40 posts (counting this one). So, I thought it would be fun to take a look back on some of my favorite posts over the last year, not only on this blog but also on My Bucket List, my Pictures & Videos and my Writing & Erotica.

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Rants (this blog)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Writes (Writing & Erotica)

For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Lists (My Bucket List)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Pics (My Pictures & Videos)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Now that I’ve shared all my favorites with you, I’d love for you to share yours with me. I’d also like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading and following. I especially want to thank those who have commented on my posts and the valuable insights you have often given me. Thank you so much for the likes and I hope we keep on having them 😉

Expected the Worse for Nothing

So, for all my moaning, the Christmas concert was actually a big success. I spent all day yesterday in an absolutely state of funk, just dreading what was ahead of me. The kids started getting ready ridiculously early and all looked so cute dressed up in their ties and dress shirts and dresses.

Kaeidyn was really upset with me right before we left. She tried walking out of the house wearing my high heel shoes. If they fit her properly, I probably wouldn’t have stopped her. But they’re about 3 sizes too big for her and honestly, a little inappropriate looking for a 10-year-old. I told her she wasn’t wearing them and for the rest of the night, the only response I got from her was pouting.

We arrived at the school with half an hour or so to spare before the concert got started. I ended up being incredibly grateful for it, because I got my choice in seats, the kids were all in their classrooms before the concert even started and all in all, it went rather smoothly.

Carter was up first. I already knew going into it which songs they were performing, but I wasn’t expecting him to whip out bells and start ringing them during his performance. As he’s up there singing and rocking out with his bells, brought a little tear to my eye. It’s hard to believe that I no longer have any babies…

I went and picked him up from his class during intermission and we both came back to the spots I had saved us and the next performance was Kenzie. Kenzie has gotten really into singing lately, and I swear you could hear him at the back of the gym. Then, it was Keirnan and he was happy to put on a show. The second part of the concert concluded with Kenzie and Keirnan singing in the choir and Carter absolutely loved watching their performance.

Last, but definitely not least, Kaeidyn was up. Both Carter and I were getting pretty restless by this point and he would not sit still for anything. As usual, Kaeidyn was perfection. She stood elegantly through her entire performance, she sang loud and proud and you could even see her encouraging her friends on either side of her. She sure is growing into quite the little girl.

The hardest part of the night was walking home in the dark of 8:30 with the wind whistling and the temperature being at least -25. My nose felt cold for hours after getting home. Two of the kids were grumpy and tired, so there was lots of whining and two of them were active and running all over the place, so there was lots of frustration coming from me. But we made it home and all in all, it was a great night.

Almost as soon as we got home, the kids had to go to bed because they still had school today. It was probably the fastest all four of them have fallen asleep at one time. While I waited for The Boyfriend to get home, I continued watching Nip/Tuck, which I recently started on Netflix, along with Grey’s Anatomy – both shows I never watched when they were on TV.

We didn’t get to bed until sometime around 3 AM, something that has been a common theme this week, as The Boyfriend’s been working lots of late night shifts. It’s hard to fall asleep at a decent hour when he doesn’t get home until midnight. And yes, I could technically go to bed before he gets off work, but it’s just not how we’ve ever rolled. Then, when we did go to bed, it took me a really long time to fall asleep. I just could not get comfortable, he was being a huge bed hog and sleep was just not coming easy for me.

By the time I did fall asleep, I felt like it was only minutes until I was up dealing with the kids as each one of them appeared at my bedroom door asking various questions. Once they left, I feel asleep really easily and ended sleeping over half the day away. When I did get woken up, to the sound of Carter talking to Minecraft, I couldn’t believe I had slept that long. Slowly dragged my butt out of bed and here I am.

Tomorrow, we’re heading down to my Mom’s for dinner. Not only am I looking forward to it because of delicious dinner and time with family, but we’re also planning on doing our Christmas shopping. The Boyfriend, for some reason, is very excited about it. I think it’s probably because he works where we’re shopping and therefore already has a plan on what he’s getting everyone. I hope that’s why anyways, because I have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas…

And now, it’s Christmas break, so two weeks with the kids. It should be interesting 😉

My Kids… Make Me So Proud!

Parent/teacher conferences were today. I spent pretty much all week stressing out about them for really no reason, as I usually do. This time was a little bit different, because they had changed the way you booked your appointment and I was expecting all sorts of bad based on the way the kids have been coming out of school.

For the last week or two, Kaeidyn and Keirnan seem to be fine after school, but Kenzie and Carter are moody and emotional and just plain mean when they get off school. I figured I’d hear lots about how they’re not getting along well in class. Thankfully, I didn’t.

Kaeidyn, as usual and as is expected, is doing wonderfully. Her teachers always have nothing but nice things to say and today was no exception. Some of the other teachers in the school even tracked her down to gush about how much of a big helper she is and how they love having her as part of their school. Even had a parent of another student gift her a blanket for all the great help she offers around the school.

Kenzie is doing really great for the most part, but struggling pretty hard with his reading. They kept saying over and over again, “In Grade 1 and 2, you learn to read. In Grade 3, you read to learn”. Kenzie is still reading at more of a grade 2 level. I knew that was going to be an issue with him, since he struggles at home a lot with his reading. He doesn’t have the patience for it. Also some notes about him needing to slow down and take his time for more legible writing.

Keirnan is making great improvements and his teacher is quite impressed with how far he’s come since the beginning of the year. Like with Kenzie, his reading is quite a bit behind and they think part of the delay there is because of the speech problems. In Grade 1, they told us that it could be an issue when it comes to sounding words out and such – and we’ve definitely noticed that. So, the focus is on sight words. He’s still reading at a low grade 1 level, so we’re definitely going to have to work harder on that, but his teacher is confident that we’ll see him get to where he needs to be by the next report card.

Carter is doing well in terms of his social interactions in class, although his major speech delay is causing him to score lower on quite a few of the tests they’re giving him, so on paper, he’s not doing good. For example, on his letter recognition, his teacher couldn’t understand him at all, so she marked it all as not recognizing the alphabet. When the speech therapist worked with him, she noted that he definitely recognizes the right letter, it’s just very hard to understand him. We knew this would be his biggest issue going into school and so we’re just kind of rolling with it and helping out in whatever way we can.

Like with Keirnan, they are doing what they call auditory bombardment. I personally have negative opinions about this particular form of speech therapy, right down to the agressive name – but I’m also a kid from the phonetics generation, where it was all about sounding it out. In auditory bombardment, let’s say your child’s focus is on the letter “k” and the sounds that letter makes. So, you say a list of words that start with k, like “kite, kitten, etc.”, and then have the child repeat back to you – while making no corrections on the way that they say the words. However, I can’t knock it too hard, being that Keirnan graduated out of speech with it…

After we were all done, the kids wanted to head down to the gym to check out what was going on there. They had a bunch of stations set up for the kids to play at and they all got nice and sweaty doing so. Kaeidyn hooked up with one of the kids she helps out with and played volleyball, Kenzie was playing an intense game of soccer, Keirnan was flirting with a girl and Carter was off on his own, playing by himself. It was the most fun out of the whole day!

Now, I plan on hunkering down in my comfy spot. Hopefully the kids are tuckered out enough that they aren’t too energetic for the rest of the day, because I feel exhausted!

Proud Mama and Turkey Weekend

These last few days have been busy busy and now it’s time for a couple days break before it gets busy busy again.

First, I had parent/teacher conferences this week. I always go into these things expecting to hear the worst things about my kids and I always leave, incredibly relieved, to not have heard anything negative. All of them are doing spectacularly well.

I met with Carter’s kindergarten teacher first. I was really expecting to hear a lot of bad things, because he’s always so unhappy to be going to school. But his teacher said there were no complaints. They are going to work out a plan with the speech therapist to get a program started for his speech delay – which we knew going into this year and had actually requested, because he is very hard to understand.

Next up was Keirnan’s teacher. He had just graduated out of his speech therapy the day before, which made me the most proud Mom ever. I didn’t think he would get to graduate already, but the speech therapist said that the only thing she could think of for him to still work on (and that chances are, until his front teeth come in, it will continue to be an issue), is the clarity of his hissy sounds. His teacher absolutely loves having him in class, he’s a total cutie and it’s evident that he’s working extra hard to make up for his weaknesses. Big smiles after leaving his class.

Kaeidyn, I always know exactly what to expect when I go in for her. Her conferences always seem different too, because she is the only one of the kids who has ever had a male teacher – and this year, she has two! As usual, she’s extra chatty, however academically she’s right where she’s supposed to be, gets her homework in on time and is a great help in the classroom and around the school.

This year, they had sent home permission forms for the HPV vaccine. Kaeidyn’s in Grade 5. I decided, since it said that she could get it later on, that this year we would not get her the vaccine. She will most likely get it, but I’d just like to wait a little bit longer. Do some extra research and feel really confident about it. So, I refused her getting it this year and just wanted to check with her teachers that she could still get it in Grade 9. They weren’t 100% sure, but one of her teachers tried to convince me that I should do it and that it was best for her to do it and how he had read all these articles, blah blah blah. It was difficult for me to not snap at him that I had read articles too and I think I’m the one that gets to say what’s best for my daughter. But, I didn’t, I smiled and just said, “This is just what we’ve decided for right now”.

Needless to say, Kaeidyn’s conference had way too much talk about the eventual day when my daugther becomes sexually active. I was sweating profusely when I left her room.

Lastly was Kenzie’s conference. I was shocked, jaw gaping and all, when Kenzie’s teacher informed me that they had had some behavioural issues with Kenzie this year. Apparently, he’s not listening to one of the lunch supervisors and he’s got a friend with him and they’re both being, as the teacher put it, “monkeys”. She said she’s personally never experienced any issues, but this lunch supervisor has. He had to write an apology letter and ever since they haven’t had any other issues, but both of us couldn’t get over how unexpected it was of Kenzie. Other than all that, he’s doing a great job, especially in math.

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning and a lot of Simming lately. That’s pretty much all I’ve done over the last few days. I was shocked to wake up this morning to the house still being relatively clean, because usually the kids have it destroyed by the time we wake up. I’ve also been showing off a lot of my work in The Sims 4 over here, which has been quite a bit of fun. I don’t think I’ve ever stuck with a Sims character so long with such dedication.

Next up is turkey dinner on Monday, which I’m massively looking forward to. It feels like it’s been too long since I last had turkey! Plus, I get to see The Boyfriend’s family and that always feels like a treat. Then, back-to-school and regular life on Tuesday and an entire three days off for The Boyfriend, which I couldn’t be more excited about.

So what’s everyone’s turkey weekend plans? And for those of you who aren’t having a turkey weekend, that’s too bad for you 😉

 

#WhyWeNeedFeminism – Rants A-Brewing!

Remember when I was talking about that hashtag… Well, it’s rearing it’s ugly head in my life profoundly and I feel like I’m embarking on this very sudden abrupt journey.

When I first ran across the #WhyWeNeedFeminism hashtag, it was really difficult for me to debate anything with anyone about it, because I just didn’t feel very connected to it. For me, in my life, I’ve never really seen that we need feminism, because everything I needed as a woman was already fought for. Or at least it seemed that way because I was raised by a strong, independent, no-man-needing woman who raised us to believe that I was just as good as all the boys, even my brother. So, I couldn’t relate.

However, in the past few days and an instance a few months back, have completely changed my thinking. The instance a few months back didn’t really click it in for me, it was just kind of floating in my brain waiting for this exact moment to resurface.

Kaeidyn, my 9-year-old, is quite the little diva. She’s always been that way. And I hate to say it, but she is quite vain. She’s always asking for compliments, she’ll walk up to total strangers and say “Don’t I look cute in this outfit?”, and the clothes she wears… First, she has a lot of family members who don’t know how to say no to her. Hell, I’m not even that good at it. So she’s been able to figure out ways to get very short skirts and very short shorts.

This one day, she comes down from her room wearing the shortest skirt ever. Now another thing about Kaeidyn, is that she is incredibly gorgeous. And I’m not just saying this as her Mom. Somehow, she has got a really great body – legs that go on for miles, a butt that looks like it belongs to a much older girl and her skin carries an amazing tone to it that just makes her glow. She knows this entirely. So, she comes down in this short skirt and I immediately tell her she cannot wear it out of the house.

I’m a pretty nice Mom that way, much the same way my Mom was. If it’s too short to wear out of the house, I’m not saying you have to get rid of it, but you have to stay inside when you wear it.

Of course, as usual, we get into a huge arguement about why I’m so mean to her, blah blah blah. At some point, The Boyfriend joins in, as he usually does and he says to her, “You don’t want some boy to rape you because you wore that out”. Worst parenting moment ever on my part, because right in front of her, I was like, “Eh, eh, eh, eh. Now now! We don’t say things like that” and launch into a mini-lecture about victim blaming.

This was just the first hint.

Then, we go down to my Mom’s and that day, Kaeidyn got to walk with Kenzie to the store by herself for the first time. She was very excited and couldn’t wait to tell. As a 9 almost 10-year-old, and the fact that she’s been working hard to gain some trust so that she can go further away from the house, I decided in a rushed moment that it was okay by me. And she did great, they both did.

My Mom has a tendency to forget what it was like when we were kids and the stuff that we got away with when we did. I was in Grade 2 when I was walking to the store by myself and by the time I was Kaeidyn’s age, I would walk to go get her smokes from the local convenience store. She was quick to point out that I was always with my sister, who is 17 months older than me. Kaeidyn went with her brother, so in my books, a-okay!

Almost immediately, my Mom starts going off about how “she’s a girl” and that “it’s much more dangerous for girls” and that she hopes I’ll wait until Kaeidyn is in her teens before I start letting her go anywhere without her brothers… And then begins in on the rape that is just out there around every corner waiting for every single girl that’s ever going to walk out the front door!

Is anyone else feeling queasy yet, or is just me?…

I’m not saying that girls shouldn’t be, to some degree, concerned about getting raped and that it should kind of be a guiding voice in our heads. Don’t go walk through that forest in the middle of the night, don’t go out drinking without a buddy, don’t go jogging down your favorite trail on a Friday night when all the lamps just happen to blow out. You know, make some smart choices and such…

However, I do not want a single day of my daughter’s life to somehow be less-than because she was afraid of getting raped. I don’t want her to not be able to accomplish her dreams because there was an iota of a chance that she could get raped. I don’t want to spend my own life, as a girl, in fear of every man that walks by me, because he might rape me…

Rape, and the possibility of it happening in my life, should not change how I live my life. And it should not change the way I raise my daughter as opposed to my sons, it should not change the way we, as girls are treated. It should not change the lessons we are all taught about life. We raise little boys to be brave, because no one is going to rape them. We raise little girls to be weak, because everyone is going to rape them.

And I am here, as a concerned mother, to say I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!

Then, the absolute kicker in the whole pants of the #WhyWeNeedFeminism debate. If you’ve read the entries from the last two days, you probably know exactly where I’m going.

For me to be considered sexually attractive by my partner of six years, I have to dress up as something that I am simply not, I have to “be more sexual” when I’m already more sexual than any other person I know who doesn’t only live on the internet, I have a huge laundry list of ways that I have to be, endlessly, to be sexually attractive. Then, that becomes repititous and whose fault is that? You guessed it, mine!

For him to be considered sexually attractive, he has to wear whatever the hell he found on the floor, shower once a week, shave once a month and never even have to worry about how he looks or acts or thinks…

He can walk around with his shirt off and no one says a thing. I can’t even breastfeed in public without dirty looks and people telling me I should go to the bathroom to do that. Do you eat where you shit?!? Then, why should my baby! He can walk through the mall with his hands down his pants, scratching his balls for the whole world to see, and I can’t even pick a wedgie.

Like seriously, what are we teaching our kids? What are we letting ourselves get away with? How blind can we be…?

Don’t even get me started on how I’m viewing things now that I’ve been slapped in the face in terms of society and it’s relation to my womanhood – because that’s a whole can of worms that I’m not even prepared to open. But in just my world, my little miniscule world of about 10 people, this is #WhyWeNeedFeminism and why we will always need it…