10 Times My Kids Were Hilarious!

Over the years on social media, I have tracked various funny or quirky things that my kids have said. Tonight, I was going through old Facebook and Twitter posts and among a variety of great gems (like this shot), I found some seriously funny things.

So, I thought it would be fun to share with you 10 times that my kids made me laugh out loud.

  1. Not Sure What “Dagged” Means

  2. Don’t Mess With the Bacon

  3. For When Barbie Goes Ziplining

  4. I Keep Saying “Definition of Insanity”…

  5. Turn on the Lights

  6. Kids, Dating and Breakups

  7. Sprite or Water on the Face

  8. He Claims “I Help!”

  9. A Variation of “Who’s on First”

  10. Exciting Attitude Girl

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Ranting About Sleep and Blogging

I seriously need to put an end to this crazy sleep schedule The Boyfriend and I are currently on. As I write this post, it is 4 AM in the morning. I woke up at 1 PM yesterday and haven’t slept yet and at the rate we’re going, it doesn’t look like we’re going to sleep for a bit yet.

For him, it makes sense. He’s gearing up for graveyards, he’s on holidays. But me… I mean, yes, I am a total night owl but this is just not natural…

It doesn’t help that all my creative energy decides to start flowing best after 2 AM and it doesn’t help that late at night is the only time that there aren’t a bunch of kids making a bunch of noise and it definitely doesn’t help that The Boyfriend and I can so easily go on for hours and hours and hours after what should reasonably be our bedtime.

At least when I stay up late like this, it’s not like I’m just sitting around doing nothing. I’m getting tons and tons and tons done. I’m getting so much done online that it’s a little bit ridiculous. I’m checking things off my virtual to-do list before they even make it on there. And I wish I could say that it felt good, but I just keep thinking I’m forgetting something and I definitely keep thinking I should be doing more.

Then I kick myself in the ass for even beginning to think like that. I told myself I wouldn’t. It always happens this way too. I spend a lot of time on my computer stuff. The things that I absolutely need to get done on the computer, such as The Erotic Writers Group’s #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, can sometimes take me up to six hours and that happens at least twice a week, not to mention the good two hours I spend every day on it. And I haven’t even begun to factor in my own personal blogging goals, which always come secondary to the group.

So I start to think that I’m working a full-time job here, I should start figuring out how to monetize it in some way, especially being that there is so much that I still want to do and so much of it requires money. I should host a Kickstarter campaign, I should sell eBooks, I should make products and use affiliate links and… and… and…

And then I remember, that is exactly why I took my last blogging hiatus and every blogging hiatus I’ve ever taken. It’s too much pressure, too much to think about, too much on top of everything else.

One day, I’ll have a team of people who will help me fundraise and help me sell books and blah blah blah, but for today, I just need to focus on the content, focus on the community, focus on the blogging and forget about all the other stuff.

Time for the Neglect to End!

I have been neglecting The Erotic Writers Group and our #WritingChallenges for two weeks now. I hate it and I’m ready for the neglect to end!

I’m blaming it on a few different things. First, the massive amount of graveyard shifts The Boyfriend has been working lately. I think he’s up to four so far. I guess it’s part of preparing him for full-time graveyards or something, since he’ll be going to that sometime near his birthday. I cannot tell you how unhappy I am about it and yet, how happy I am for him about it.

I know he really liked working graveyards. He also seemed to be able to progress through the ranks faster when he was working graveyards, whereas on days, he’s been stuck for a really long time. I know that for him, graveyards is a better deal. So, I’m happy for him but I’m dreading the whole graveyard thing…

It screws with my sleep so much. I stay up later on nights before he works, getting ready for the shift with him. I sleep later because as long as he’s still in bed, I stay in bed. I need to get to a place where I can just carry on as if he’s not working graveyards… Maybe that will come after the first 3 months or so…

I’ve also been busy offline, trying to keep the house clean. It is not being an easy task at all. Now that we’re cleaning more often it seems like the house is getting dirtier so much faster. It’s truly exhausting and I have officially decided that when I win the lottery (after I start playing), my first mission is to get a housemaid, because I’d like to retire from the duty of cleaning altogether.

I made the boys cleaning out the toy box yesterday and you cannot believe how much that seemed to cheer me up. Getting rid of all the broken and mismatched toys was just about the best thing ever. However, now they’ve discovered toys they haven’t seen in months from the bottom of the toybox and so toys are strewn everywhere right now. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s one of those ones that you end up being grateful for.

So, my goal this weekend is to get back to our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, complete a project that I’ve been working on for about a week (and that I’m keeping mum about it until it’s done) and keep my living room clean for the whole weekend! Plus, I’ve got dinner down at my Mom’s, where I plan to play guitar for at least 2 hours. So, YAY for the weekend!!

Anyone got any big plans for Valentine’s Day?

Drained…

The last few days have not been very good. I’m blaming it on PMS, because I can and because it’s the only reason I can think that just suddenly, out-of-nowhere, I’m hit with this utterly drained of life feeling.

I woke up one day, just not feeling like myself. I was feeling pretty down about everything and tears kept coming to my eyes over the stupidest little things. I was getting easily upset by the little things that the kids were doing and just being so moody. And then, it just seemed to get worse.

That was about three days ago and I just can’t shake this drained type of feeling. I can’t say what particular emotion it is exactly, because it doesn’t really feel like one. I feel like I’m really old. My body has been hurting a lot and I know that it’s because my brain is hurting somewhere.

I don’t know where it spurred from, but I just started looking at all the areas of my life in which I feel like I’m failing. And it seems like every few months, this list grows exponentially. And then I get incredibly overwhelmed by the list and this whole thing happens.

I’ve been experimenting with things that will rid me of this feeling. First and foremost, decluttering my online space. This probably attributed to the beginning of the downward spiral but ultimately, I think it will beneficial. The last time I tried to declutter my online space, I basically gave up and left a lot of loose ends all over the place. I had been defeated. This time, I’m determined not to be defeated.

In some cases, this means trying to clear up stuff on the web from over five years ago and I can hardly remember yesterday. It’s been a frustrating experience to say the least, although the more I get done, the better it feels. However, until it’s done, I just can’t seem to focus on anything.

So, that’s where I’m at. Unable to hold my focus, feeling sore, feeling old, and just a little worn out…

 

It’s Slowing Down…

I knew that my streak of productive days would come to a crashing halt eventually. It lasted longer than I expected it to and it’s not even that I’m not being as productive, it’s just not being as focused on being productive.

I missed a post this week. I didn’t realize it until the next day. I have all these reminders set all over the place and somehow I ended up missing this one entirely. It was the first sign that something was up, because I hadn’t needed any of the reminders I had set up until right then!

Then, I cleaned the house. The kids and I worked for at least 2 hours on cleaning. Since no one could agree on what they wanted to do for jobs, we drew them from a hat and each kid got a specific job. That resulted in a lot of tears and the whole time Keirnan cleaned up the small mess in the bathroom, he whined and whined. All in all, they did a really great job. One thing that I’m noticing about keeping my house cleaner is that it seems like it gets dirtier so much faster.

I decided today to start clearing up my browser. I use Chrome and lately all my bookmarks and extensions are becoming a terrible mess. At some point, I had two different accounts connected and it’s got stuff from both accounts and it’s just a confusing jumble of stuff. I have my most used stuff out front and center, but there is a whole host of disorganization upon further inspection.

However, clearing up my browser and making it so that it’s all pretty and organized turned into a traumatic experience that I am quickly trying to forget, because it just makes me want to throw my hands up. I discovered accounts I had forgotten that I had and emails that I no longer know the passwords to and just ugh… Darn me for having so many fleeting interests over the years!

I also spoilt myself a little with some game stuff. I bought the new “game pack” for The Sims 4 and although I played for a couple hours earlier today, never actually got around to trying it out. Then, got some other game points and bought myself Hotel Giant 2, which I have been wasting a large amount of time on, as I knew I would when I bought it. I figure the kids and The Boyfriend have been gaming it up a lot lately, I might as well join that.

Other than that, this past week has been mostly boring. I’ve felt like I’m lagging a lot. My sleep feels like it’s all out of whack, even though I can’t figure out how exactly. I’m hoping that as it turns into spring and the sun starts setting and rising at a normal hour that my sleep will start to straighten out a little bit. Too much longer of this and I think it’s going to start seriously affecting my mood.

Submissions, Cleaning and Reading

Even though I had the hardest time getting out of bed this morning and even though it took me forever and a day to stop feeling groggy (even though, I’m still not sure that I entirely do…) and even though I had planned to just veg in front of my computer all day, today ended up being a super great get-things-done day.

Tonight is the last night to get your submissions in for The Erotic Writers Group #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters. I was determined, no matter what, I was going to put in at least one submission. And, I did!!

I was inspired by one of the #WritingPrompts (this one) and although I totally hadn’t intended this entire piece to be about what it is, I spent 1000 words on Mary’s Nails – the first piece on my writing blog that isn’t technically for a submission to the challenges. Then, I wrote my first song since “The Tree” and have plans to eventually put some music to it and maybe make it a real thing, but for now, it’s just the lyrics. Deeper Into Me was a submission for this week’s #SaturdaySerenade.

Then, I suddenly decided we were going to completely clean the upstairs of our house. Generally, the upstairs stays really clean all the time. The Boyfriend and I have been spending more awake time in our room, so our room was needing a cleaning. The kids started off being pretty terrible but by the end of it, they were working so well that I even got them to do some extra cleaning downstairs.

Now my entire upstairs and living room are clean!

Then, I came back on the computer and got tons more done than I had expected to get done and it all seemed ridiculously easy. I’m hashing out stuff like crazy and I am loving it! It always feels good to get the bulk of your work done in less time than you expected to, especially being that it means I get to spend so much more time doing other things.

At some point tonight, I plan on getting some reading done because I’m very close to done my first book of 2015, Mary Wood-Allens’s What Young Women Ought to Know. It’s being quite the interesting read and more than once have I interrupted The Boyfriend’s gaming to read him passages from the book. My favorite rule presented by Mary is that girls should never run up and down the stairs. It’s been a running joke this week between The Boyfriend and I.

I always hate that he never reads any of the books that I read. But at least he pays enough attention to what I’m reading to be able to have running jokes with me!

Well, that’s my day in a nutshell. What was your day like? Do anything special this week?

It’s Morning!

My morning is off to a pretty great start. Look at that, I just said morning and it absolutely is. Do you know how many weeks it’s been since I said morning and it actually was morning?!?

I’m up early this morning for a bunch of different reasons. First and foremost, because it is the first day of the return of #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters and I wanted to be sure that it all worked the way it was supposed to. So far, so good.

Then, the older kids are coming home today and will be home right around noon. If it were a normal day, I’d still be upstairs in bed sleeping with Carter at that time. I woke up when The Boyfriend went to work this morning so that I could be sure to be awake when the older kids get home. I’m surprisingly more excited than I expected about them coming home. Cannot wait for Carter to have someone else to play with!

I’ve got a lot more stuff planned for today, all mostly online stuff. I do plan on cleaning the kitchen at some point today, but we did a bunch of cleaning last night, so my offline to-do list is dramatically shorter. I want to write a buttload of blog posts, but first I need to write those of which are necessary – then I can write for fun.

I wrote a post awhile back on my bucket list that has been getting a few comments. I need to go back and update it, to make it more clear that Alfie and I are no longer together. So I’ve gotten a few comments about “you just need to (a) where your relationship with Alfie is concerned”, and it’s amazing how hard it is to respond to those ones nicely. Mainly because of all the crappy drama that went down between Alfie and I (especially in terms of that post), although we seemed to get over it well enough and are friendly with each other, so I can’t really complain about anything.

Ah, the problems of a blog-a-holic 😉

Just to clarify, for those of you who may not know, Alfie and The Boyfriend are two different people. Alfie is Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan’s Dad, The Boyfriend is Carter’s Dad. Alfie is my ex-boyfriend, The Boyfriend is my current boyfriend.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Favorite Posts So Far

It’s officially been about six months since I came back from my big long blogging hiatus. In that time, on this blog alone, I’ve written 40 posts (counting this one). So, I thought it would be fun to take a look back on some of my favorite posts over the last year, not only on this blog but also on My Bucket List, my Pictures & Videos and my Writing & Erotica.

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Rants (this blog)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Writes (Writing & Erotica)

For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Lists (My Bucket List)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Favorites from Valerie Rayne Pics (My Pictures & Videos)

For (E)veryone
For (A)dults

Now that I’ve shared all my favorites with you, I’d love for you to share yours with me. I’d also like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading and following. I especially want to thank those who have commented on my posts and the valuable insights you have often given me. Thank you so much for the likes and I hope we keep on having them 😉

Exploding Head Syndrome

I hate that I didn’t spend more of my teenage life reading. I mean, I read quite a bit during those years. Probably just a little bit more than the average teenager, but looking back on it, I wasn’t reading the right books.

Now, not only do I have a buttload of books that I’m trying to read and want to read but I also have all these blogs that I want to read, all these FetLife posts that are super important to read, all this information to consume. And there just simply isn’t enough time in the day.

Yesterday, we went down to visit my Mom and she decided a trip to Value Village was necessary. The kids were all so excited and my thoughts immediately went to books. The last time we were at VV, I got something like 6 books for $12 and one of them was my epic Sherlock Holmes (which I’m still in the process of reading). I love the book section here. Wouldn’t you know I found more books. So now, my bookshelf which is already so full you can longer see wood, has two new-to-me additions (plus a few more kids books), Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf and ManifestA by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards.

I started with Promiscuities because I read The Beauty Myth back in highschool. I’ve always loved Naomi Wolf’s style as a writer and find her writing to be so easily consumable.

It now takes the number of books I’m reading (and this does not include any I’ve started online – except Flatland) up to 8 – 8 books at one time! Which also wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that I am certainly not dedicating enough of my life to all this reading. After realizing all this during a migraine last night and a grumpy wake up this morning, I have decided that I need to get some stuff in order.

I need to set aside a certain time each day to read my offline books – like an hour or a chapter of reading one of these 8 books every night. Then, I need to set a certain time each day to read all my online stuff – and this could potentially get up there in time, because there is just so much!

I haven’t even begun to actually follow blogs yet, just followed my followers back. I’ve taken no time at all to get comfortable with WordPress’ “Reader”, so that I can successfully do what I need to do with all the great stuff I’m reading. Everything’s just a little all over the place and I need to figure out what I need to do to change that.

I have all these plans and ideas. I want to get The Erotic Writers Group back up to full-steam by January, I want to blog about this and that thing and I want to post this and that, and I just have no focus with all these ideas bopping about in my head.

My head just feels a little bit like it’s going to explode. So much I want to do, so much that has to be done, so not enough time in the day or enough energy. Need to make some changes!

Finally Did It!

Well, it only took me forever and a day, but I finally got some stuff checked off my neverending online to-do list and I foresee a night filled with checking off more – assuming I don’t suddenly get ridiculously distracted.

My big “finally did it” moment came when I officially hit the publish button on a post asking for help with The Erotic Writers Group. It’s a pretty big step for me. I do really badly at asking for help in an online atmosphere and will often take on this, “I can do it myself” attitude. Over the years, I’ve learnt that this does not serve me well.

I often get to a point where I absolutely burn out with online work. It just becomes this overwhelming crazy thing to me and I get all caught up in the lack of things or the failure of things and can’t make myself do anything. I often walk away for extended periods of time and often times will just walk away all together – and I hate that and I want it to change.

I need a team. I need a group of people who are interested in some of these things too, so that I’m not so isolated in the backend. People who know what I’m talking about when I try to bounce ideas off of them. People to share this addiction of mine with.

Plus, I think The Erotic Writers Group is so much fun, so useful, so awesome, that I don’t want to walk away from this one. I don’t want to give up and I have so many ideas that I want to bring to life. So, I’m not ready to give up. But I’m definitely not ready to keep doing it alone, because it’s not sustainable.

I’m pretty excited to see what ends up happening from that post. It’s terrifying and awesome all at the same. We’ll see 😉