The Last Week…

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last wrote… It’s not for lack of things to write about or even a lack of desire to write about them, I just haven’t had a chance to get on my computer at all this last week. And then when I have had the chance, it’s the very last thing I’ve wanted to do.

This last week has been incredibly stressful. First, The Boyfriend went back to work after having a week off and he’s officially back on graveyards. I cannot tell you how mixed my emotions surrounding this have been. Then, we had our bi-annual inspection today and that always brings me more stress than is necessary.

I’ve spent the last week in a total and exhausting funk. And we knew that it was going to happen, as it almost always does during inspection time, and I warned The Boyfriend ahead of time. Unfortunately, the first week back on graveyards is always all consuming and so there was a definite feeling of lacking support this week that just made everything so much worse than usual.

Kaeidyn and I were trading off the stress about the inspection for the entire week. One minute I’d be all worked up and then just as I’d start to calm, she’d get all worked up and we just kept going back and forth like that constantly.

Our house got incredibly cleaned, which is the good thing out of all of it. Our floor finally got the mopping it was desperately craving, the snow melted enough that we were able to clean up most of the yard and we’ve decided that eventually we’re doing a big dump of all the clothes that we’ve managed to amass in our basement – most of which have been in the basement for months…

I was so upset last night. I was up late finishing up the last little bits of cleaning before inspection day and all of a sudden I hear a sound. Next thing I know, Kenzie’s puking all over all the cleaning I had just finished. Today, all the boys had upset stomachs and headaches. I hate when they all get sick all at once, because it’s always that much more overwhelming. Although it’s nice that it’s over and done with quicker.

I’ve been neglecting all my computer-related stuff for the last week and haven’t even checked in on most of it, other than the notifications I get on my phone. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and I’ve decided that I really want to change my blog theme and update it a little and stuff. I feel like it needs it or something. But I imagine it will take a few days before I make an official decision and then it will take a week or two to get it all changed and set up the way I like. But I’m thinking about it…

I’ve also been spending some time reading through my blogs from four or five years ago and it’s giving me some ideas for posts in the future and some other stuff, so I imagine that’s going to be an interesting little thing to explore as I get re-acquainted with my computer, now that my funk can be over for a little bit now.

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Injury and Fever

Our house phone has been on the fritz lately. It basically hasn’t worked at all for the last month and we’re not exactly sure why. And everytime that we’re about to go out and buy a new phone or call our phone company, the thing suddenly starts working like they’re was never a problem.

I was never more grateful for this than I was yesterday. Just as I’m getting my boots on to go pick up the kids from school, after over a week of not ringing, the phone rings. It’s the school. Apparently, Carter had gone to the washroom and managed to hit his head and the school nurse was pretty sure he was going to need stitches. No one knew exactly what he had done.

I rushed down to the school as quick as my little legs would carry me and the school nurse offered to drive us up to the hospital. So thankful for that. We seriously need to get a vehicle… When I got to the school, they had a bandage wrapped about his head, so you couldn’t really see the damage done.

 

Carter in Bandages

Carter in Bandages

He was in surprisingly good spirits, talkative as always. We were told it would be a long wait but I thought it was just perfect. I had had just the right amount of time to keep myself from panicking. We got taken back to the minor treatment area and Carter was still doing so great. Talking away, telling stories to anyone who would listen, babbling to himself.

I did not expect the gash to be as big as it was. As they removed the bandage from his head, my hand covered the gasp as they revealed the cut. It was very deep and a lot larger than I had been prepared for. It took me awhile to get over that…

They put some freezing cream on his head first and that was on there for about 20 minutes. Then the doctor came in and Carter was very excited about the idea of getting a needle. When they jammed the needle into the open cut, he winced a little bit, but other than that, took it like a total champ. Didn’t cry at all and kept going off about how strong and brave he was.

They put 6-8 stitches on the inside, although none of us are sure because between the two nurses they brought in to hold him down, my Mom and I and the doctor, we were all cracking up laughing over Carter’s calm banter during this ordeal. He was having a great time. Then, 12 stitches on the outside. By this point, the freezing cream had started to wear off, so his skin was a little tender and couple times he tensed up, but other than it was easy as pie.

When he was done, he was hyper. He wanted to go places and do things and talk to his Dad. So, we left the hospital and went down to Wal-Mart to see The Boyfriend and pick up a few things for dinner and breakfast. Carter was bouncing off of walls by this point and we had a hard time keeping him from jumping into the way of other people.

He was very excited to see Daddy and this theme carried on for the rest of the night. When we got home, after a couple hours, he decided he was ready for bed. After sleeping for about half an hour, he woke up with a headache, as we expected. By this point, the gash had started to swell pretty bad and all Carter wanted was Daddy. He was crying so hard, “Please, call my Daddy!”. Just hearing his voice on the phone calmed him down enough to be able to give him some tylenol.

I had come home from the hospital to Kaeidyn complaining about her stomach. By the time Carter was needing tylenol, so was she as her stomach got worse and she started to get a fever. She kept me up most of the night last night with a pain in her stomach that she couldn’t describe, constant fluctuation between hot and cold and a mild fever. The 4 AM lukewarm bath seemed to do the trick and she slept until about 7 AM.

For the most part, she’s slept the day away. She’s still got a little bit of the fever but has stopped complaining about her stomach. And Carter has only complained about the bandaids, which seem to be pulling his hair a little bit. Other than that, he’s been a bundle of joy and has been helping take care of his sick sister and is his happy, normal self.

I didn’t start feeling the stress of the day yesterday until close to midnight and then it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so overwhelmed all of a sudden and I kept telling/asking myself that I had already done the hardest parts of the day, what was I freaking out about, but just could not quiet the stressed out feeling. By the time we went to bed, I just felt angry at the entire world. I was relieved beyond belief to wake up this morning and not feel any of those things. It’s incredible what stress can do to a person.

Now, it’s time to get to some computer work while I let the kids veg for a little while longer and then, dishes and dinner. Cannot wait for bed tonight, that’s for sure!

Not Well

I have not been feeling very well…

It started with a normal run-of-the-mill cold. Keirnan started it, I finished it with a bang! I was through, what I thought, was the worst of it. I spent an entire day with a throbbing migraine, the worst I think I’ve ever had in my adult life. The tylenol made me throw up and after sleeping it off, I woke up and felt a little bit better. A day of not eating and drinking nothing but Ginger Ale seemed effective and the next day, I was back to my basically regular self, just with a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough.

Fast forward a few days to yesterday. I woke up with this pain in my temple. The first two hours awake, it was just a little “Ouch, that hurts”. Then suddenly, it was like an entire bulldozing party was making it’s way through my frontal lobe, and I spent the rest of the day half in and out of sleep on the couch, refusing to open my eyes for longer than a second or two.

Even when we did go to bed, it took me a long time to finally fall asleep because every way I turned seemed to heighten the pounding between my ears. I rubbed every part of my face trying to ease the pain, but nothing was helping at all. When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had a terrible hangover.

The day went by with mostly just that hungover type of feeling. Kind of groggy and my stomach keeps feeling like I’m about to go on stage – perpetual butterflies. Suddenly, my back decides it’s the perfect time to start being the biggest douche. As I’m cooking dinner, it’s just getting worse and worse. I beg The Boyfriend to rub my back and he happily obliges. It seems to soothe the ache… But only briefly.

Dinner’s done. I decide I’ve had enough of this pain, maybe a hot bath will help. The water felt good, really good. I stretched, I floated, but I could still only feel the searing pain in my back. The bath didn’t help at all. Sure, it felt good, but it did nothing to extinguish this horrible tightening in my back, nothing at all.

I’ve now been out of the bath for 30 minutes and every ounce of help it caused is now dissapating fast. I want to know what the heck is going on inside of my body and I want to tell the little minions inside of me to stop waging war, I’ll give them whatever it is that they want, I surrender! Apparently, that is getting me nowhere.

I need to just seriously suck it up and go see a doctor. I’ve been saying it for months, maybe even years now. I don’t know why exactly that I haven’t. There’s probably a whole bunch of different reasons really, but I can’t know what the heck is going on if I don’t eventually go see a doctor.

I’ve got a butt ton of online work that I’m supposed to be spending these days doing, but my body is not allowing it at all. I’ve gotten a bunch done, but there’s still just so much left to do, and I’m kind of freaking out a little bit about it. I wish sometimes that I could just snap my fingers and wham! Everything that needed to get done would get done. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that and so, if I want to get stuff done, I just have to suck it up and get it done. So easy to say, so hard to do…

One thing is for sure. I definitely like only having to take care of one kid when I’m sick as opposed to four – I may be sick as a dog, but at least I’m not unnecessarily exhausted.

Early Day – Not Sure How I Feel…

The Boyfriend and I had vowed last night to go to bed early and wake up early. We’ve actually vowed this almost every single night for at least a week, although we’ve failed miserably everyday so far. We almost failed last night too, when we claimed we would watch some TV at 10 PM and be in bed by midnight. 10 PM rolled around and we were both heavily into our separate activities and so time continued to tick on. By 2 AM, we were finally heading up to bed.

Sleeping did not come easy. It was too hot and then it was too cold. The kids have all been going in and out of being sick these last few days and I’m almost sure I’ve caught some part of one of their colds. I felt stuffed up and like I needed to cough but couldn’t. To make it all worse, The Boyfriend was being an epic bed hog, even after I asked him to move over three times. Sleep came very easily for him…

Once I did fall asleep, it was a very sound sleep. Until sometime before my alarm went off this morning, when I was awoken to the shrill sounds of my daughter’s voice as she screamed at the boys to get ready. I don’t know why she does this. On a day when they wake up with my alarm, they have an hour to get ready for school in the morning. Today, they had to have at least an hour and a half. No matter, she gets up right away and immediately starts screaming at everyone to get ready. Most mornings, I come down and tell her she needs to relax, because boys don’t take that long to get ready.

So, as I kick my feet and moan at the frustration of being woken up like this for yet another day, The Boyfriend says “Roll and let me snuggle you for half an hour”. He had to work this morning, we vowed to be up early. Half an hour more wasn’t going to ruin that. I rolled and began to get all comfy as he pressed his warm skin against my back and wrapped his arm around my body. And as my eyes began to close, I had a mini freak out about how this half an hour sleep was going to completely ruin my vow to be up early. Then, she screamed again.

In a huff, I rolled and kicked my feet once more. I sat up and insisted that we ditch the idea of sleeping in any later. It took forever for us to actually leave our bed, but we were up before 8 AM today and made it downstairs shortly after 8:30. So vow, completed. It was not easy, it was not pretty and I’m still not sure that I’m completely awake, but it’s done.

I want to be the type of person who finds this waking up thing to be a little easier. I want to wake up in the morning, not the afternoon. I want to go to bed at a decent enough hour that I’m still getting at least the required amount of sleep. I want to go to bed feeling tired and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed. Instead, I just feel wiped out all the time and sleep half the day away…

I always think back to my pre-14-year-old morning routine. I used to easily wake up at 4 AM every single day of the week. I’d do an hour long workout with Alyssa Milano’s Teen Steam (because it was the only video I owned and basically, I just needed background sound) and then it would be an hour in a nice hot bath. Then, the rest of the morning would be dedicated to catching up on any homework I had to do for school that day. I loved that morning routine so much and I want it back bad. Not necessarily the 4 AM and not necessarily Teen Steam, but you know what I mean!!

I just need to get on it and create a routine, because this is driving me nuts…

Sick and Trying to Write

First week of school done, first snowfall of the year and everyone is getting sick! Carter started two days ago with a runny nose that has now turned into a full-out cold. Kenzie started last night and I woke up this morning with a very prominent tickle in my throat. Which means that by tomorrow, I will be incapacitated to my chair under a big fluffy blanket and the most you’ll get out of me is a cough here or there.

I hate getting sick. It’s just about the worst thing. They’re always worse than you think they’re going to be, they always make you feel gross for days and just when you get over one, another one is just around the corner. It’s very depressing.

And that’s right, I said above snowfall. That dreadful white stuff, which we weren’t supposed to get, started falling and ever since the weather has been some slushy rain coldness. Needless to say, it’s been freezing cold and none of us were prepared for it. Stupid Alberta…

Not too much else has been going on. I got through another bunch of chapters of Brave New World and am enjoying the story immensely so far (also started a story inspired by it…). The Boyfriend and I worked our butts off the other day to get the kitchen clean, even pulling out the fridge – which was definitely needed! Other than that, it’s mostly be computer time for me.

Lots of The Sims 3 being played, tons getting done for The Erotic Writers Group and have spent the last couple of days testing out Scrivener. It was suggested by the group and so far, I’m liking it for organizing story pieces. I’m still setting up all my folders and backend stuff, so that I get into the crunch of writing some of The Brighton Tales, because seriously, I am so ready for this story to be out of my head, on paper, for consumption.

I’m having a really difficult time on choosing a name for the female slave in this story, which is making the writing much more difficult. Up until now, I’ve mostly just referred to her by pronouns and when I’ve written something that requires a name, I’ll just little brackets, because I’m not exactly sure what I want to call her. I know that I want her to have a normal “Brighton” name (although, what is that even?!?) and then she gets called the same thing as all the other slaves once she’s ritually taken by Atticus. What to call her, hell, even what to call the slaves – haven’t quite figured that out yet…

Slaves are even the wrong word to use for those in service to the Kingdom of Brighton. I hate when the words trip you up on the writing!