Brain War – It’ll Pass…

I have been trying like crazy to publish something but it is just not working for me lately. I have been hating everything that I’ve been doing lately, I haven’t been able to hold concentration for anything and by the time that I decide that I’m done, I’ve decided that what I’ve just done sucks and delete it all without even thinking about it…

I don’t think I’ve been critical of anyone else except myself, although I may be wrong, but this last week or so has been a lot of me beating myself up over rather trivial things. The kids talk back one too many times, and suddenly I become the worst mom in the world. The shirt hugs my left love handle just a little too tightly and suddenly I become a beached whale that immediately needs to diet. The show makes me tear up a little bit and suddenly I become a whiny baby. I use the wrong word one time in a sentence and suddenly I’m unintelligent. And it’s not because anyone is saying that or giving me that vibe or anything like that. It is strictly an internal battle, a brain war.

I can probably come up with a ton of a reasons why it’s happening, although I don’t know if I believe any of them are the actual cause. I think my brain is just trying to figure out next steps and it needs to struggle to get there. I’m hoping that that’s what it is anyways. Especially being that it all seems so trivial and just downright stupid.

I’ve also got a lot of “projects” going on, which is probably another big contributor to my brain war. From the to-do list that is so out of control now that I don’t even want to talk about it, to two major projects that I’m attempting to keep mum about (and it’s killing me!), and a whole bunch of other small things – I have all these ideas that are abounding and that just seem halted. Because the battle is still waging.

I know it’ll pass. It always does. But the waiting is driving me up the wall…

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Brain War – It’ll Pass…

  1. Been there. Publishing brings out a host of conflicting emotions in me. On the one hand, I’m excited, and always a little nervous. On the other hand, I write in kinks that are not terribly popular simply because I enjoy them, and that feels pretty lonely at times. Everything I’ve done has been full of mistakes and had to be reuploaded, my cover isn’t as good as I’d like, etc. etc. I get frustrated and sometimes nothing helps except waiting for the next day. A new day is a new chance, a new hope.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave Your Thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s