Series of Amazing Days

I love when a series of days just goes so well. I mean, it hasn’t been perfect. The kids have been beyond irritating these last couple of days, mainly the boys. They have too much energy, too much strength, too much sudden emotion – it’s freaking exhausting. But save for the boys being brats, it’s been wonderful.

First, the weather has been blissful. It’s been hot, the sun has been shining bright and even though we all get a little bitchy about the heat at night, it’s so great. We’ve been desperate to get out of the house a lot, although it’s not being as easy as we’d like with The Boyfriend and his sleep schedule right now.

Today, we decided to wake up early and hit the beach. Best day ever! We missed our turn and ended up having to take a detour to The Boyfriend’s old hometown and he always enjoys doing that so much. He loves to show off all his favorite teenage haunts. Then, we got to the beach and almost immediately the kids were in the water.

The Boyfriend and I built sand castles together and then separately. He always gets a huge kick out of it, I never seem to be able to realize my vision. I had more fun tearing mine down than putting it up. We played at the beach for a good two hours and then headed back home.

The Boyfriend went for his sleep when we got home and the kids sat down to watch some Netflix quietly. Within thirty minutes, everyone but Kaeidyn was falling asleep where they sat. Keirnan and I dozed off for a good two hours, Kenzie slept almost the rest of the night and Carter probably slept for about an hour. It was amazing!!

The Boyfriend just has tonight left and then he’s got two days off. I’m so looking forward to getting a good night of sleep next to my man. I plan to go to bed early so that the night goes by faster. Hopefully we have more amazing series of days this summer.

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Brain War – It’ll Pass…

I have been trying like crazy to publish something but it is just not working for me lately. I have been hating everything that I’ve been doing lately, I haven’t been able to hold concentration for anything and by the time that I decide that I’m done, I’ve decided that what I’ve just done sucks and delete it all without even thinking about it…

I don’t think I’ve been critical of anyone else except myself, although I may be wrong, but this last week or so has been a lot of me beating myself up over rather trivial things. The kids talk back one too many times, and suddenly I become the worst mom in the world. The shirt hugs my left love handle just a little too tightly and suddenly I become a beached whale that immediately needs to diet. The show makes me tear up a little bit and suddenly I become a whiny baby. I use the wrong word one time in a sentence and suddenly I’m unintelligent. And it’s not because anyone is saying that or giving me that vibe or anything like that. It is strictly an internal battle, a brain war.

I can probably come up with a ton of a reasons why it’s happening, although I don’t know if I believe any of them are the actual cause. I think my brain is just trying to figure out next steps and it needs to struggle to get there. I’m hoping that that’s what it is anyways. Especially being that it all seems so trivial and just downright stupid.

I’ve also got a lot of “projects” going on, which is probably another big contributor to my brain war. From the to-do list that is so out of control now that I don’t even want to talk about it, to two major projects that I’m attempting to keep mum about (and it’s killing me!), and a whole bunch of other small things – I have all these ideas that are abounding and that just seem halted. Because the battle is still waging.

I know it’ll pass. It always does. But the waiting is driving me up the wall…

Restrained and Released

A few weeks back, I did some more online shopping and bought stuff specifically for The Boyfriend. Namely, two different types of masturbators. I also got an under-the-bed restraint system.

I always think we’re going to use the stuff the same day it arrives, but it normally ends up sitting in the box for a few weeks without even a thought given to it, before we finally open it up and look at it.

We had experimented with the masturbators already, but I decided that last night, I was setting up that restraint system, with or without his pre-approval. And so, after a good long almost two-hour bath, I decided to set this thing up. It took me about two seconds and being that I wasn’t betting on it’s use, I just kinda slid it under the mattress and left it there.

Even though The Boyfriend had now been up for almost 36 hours, I was determined we were having sex. After three weeks of riding the red wave, I was finally not bleeding and all I could think about was finally having something other than a solitary mastrubatory orgasm. And he was excited to oblige, which I wasn’t expecting and added to the anticipation.

We stayed up way later than we were expecting to. I mean, the kids didn’t go to bed until almost one in the morning, so it was way late. And I don’t know how he managed, other than a great deal of determination and for that I am thankful.

It started on the couch after we had both taken baths separately. I had gone first and then when he was up in his bath, I played games. When he was done, he had me keep playing while he did some playing of his own. As zombies attacked me and I smashed cars into tree after tree after tree, his fingers playfully roamed my freshly shaved flesh. About half an hour or so passed before we finally made our way upstairs.

Almost immediately, he was putting the restraints to use. He laid me on my back and roughly grabbed my left leg, yanking it up above my head and securing the velcro on the first strap. Then, he gently lifted my right leg and kissed my ankles as he strapped the next restraint onto me. I told him that he could tighten it by pulling “this” strap, I signaled with my chin. He smiled and pulled on the straps, my feet now touching the wall behind my head.

He sat back for a minute and admired his work. I delighted in this probably more than anything else. His hands went from around my ankles, where the straps were, to slowly make their way down the back of my legs, across the fold of my knee, up my thighs and resting nicely on my ass at the end. He smiled at me, this mischievous look in his eyes, and I could tell he was debating about his next move.

He grabbed my hands and strapped them into the cuffs at the bottom of the bed and tightened them a little bit. He raised up his hand and brought it down quickly on the left side of my ass, hitting the best spot possible. He did again on the other side and followed it quickly with soft kisses – and his facial hair set my body on fire. I shivered violently as he kissed the tip of my clit.

He just gently rubbed the tip of his cock against my wet slit and I knew he was ready for penetration. “Go slow, because I think it’s going to hurt” and he went really slow. The way that felt… I could feel every single little bump and ridge of his cock perfectly and I cooed at all the different sensations.

I’m a pretty flexible person for the most part. It’s not very often that we struggle to get me into all sorts of crazy positions. But with my feet above my head and my hands stretched below my ass, it felt like the angle he was going in at was much more intense than normal – as if he was filling every piece of available space. He was also leaning more back on his heels, so that right there always changes the way it feels.

He was obviously enjoying the show and I was obviously enjoying that. And when he pulled himself almost all the way out and raised his hand, we both exchanged devious smiles as he quickly brought his hand down onto that delicate area where ass meets thigh. I pulled against all four restraints and said, “My body…”, and he engulfed me, putting his hands in my hair and showering my cheeks, forehead, neck and ears with lingering kisses. His hands caressed down my sides, taking in the curve of my breasts with his weight bared upon them, and the fold of my hip from my bent up legs, and ran his fingers over my wetness and around his girth.

I relaxed back, the cool breeze from our open window hitting the line of sweat that had formed across my forehead, and he lifted off of me and played in the wetness between my legs. His fingers kept traveling further and further back and when he pulled out of me, I knew he was going to try for anal. If I wasn’t already absolutely sure of it, the succession of two or three good whacks on the ass and the rubbing of copious amounts of precum right on the entrance point were damn sure signs.

He moved his head around the straps now dangling in my face and kissed me hard. I reached my hands to my ass and gently pulled at my cheeks, hoping to make the interaction easier than it has been of late. Slowly, he eased his way in. He asked, “Are you okay?” and I nodded fervently. He whispered, “Good girl”, as he ran a finger over my temple and up through my hair. He pushed just a little bit harder and I gasped, “Wait!”. He stopped dead and waited for my next move.

I groped with my hands and he released the right one – my clit rubbing hand. I reached between my legs and felt around at what was happening and he sat completely still waiting for me. I tried to make it feel wetter, easier somehow. But he felt so massive, so unbearable. I tried rocking against him a little bit, relaxing onto him. But I felt so small, so breakable.

I said, “I can’t…”, defeated. He bent over and kissed me hard, “Such a good girl”, and I slowly guided him out of me. I commented right then and there that I did not realize how deep he was and I could not believe that I chickened out right then and there. He paid no attention and put his tongue to work on my still wet pussy.

My toes had begun to tingle. I wriggled them for a good five minutes, not wanting to released. One final slap on my ass was all I could handle, and as I pulled hard against the cuffs, I asked him to let my legs down. He did this part so sensually. He pulled slowly at the velcro strap, and was careful to not let my leg just fall or bounce down. He kissed all the way around my ankle where the strap had been left and gently set my leg down on the bed beside him, rubbing his fingers back up over it. The same on the other side and I immediately wrapped them around him, pulling him in tight for a good long mid-sex session hug.

We took a five minute drink break and I don’t think any drink has ever been so refreshing.

I had been fantasizing all day about taking his reversible masturbator and putting it on him and then sitting on him facing away from him, so that he could see the masturbator/penis/pussy combo. I decided now would be the perfect time.

The masturbator was a bit stubborn to put on, but we had anticipated that from a previous session with it. Once it was securely in place, I eagerly crawled on top of him and he was excited about the position (as he always in anytime I’m on top). He had the smooth side of the masturbator against him and the nubby side was sticking out. Man, were those nubbies ever noticeable at first, and almost not in a good way. It took quite awhile of going back and forth on them for them to start feeling anything less than weird and then, almost as soon as I got to that point, I got to the point of not being able to feel them at all. I could feel the veins in his cock better than I could the nubs on the toy.

He had had enough of the feeling of the masturbator. I have no idea how it felt for him, but he was ready for the real fucking of the night to begin. He was ready for orgasms.

He laid me on my back and swiftly penetrated me, hard and deep, his hands roughly on my shoulders pushing me down onto him. He told me to cum on his cock and I manically worked on my clit as he thrust hard into me. I came quickly and he said, “Now onto the next one!”. He pulled my legs this way and that, adjusting for deeper penetration and then easing up and going hard again, varying his speed, depth, angles, and rhythm. I continued circling my clit frantically.

I told him I was close and he thrust harder and faster. At the exact same moment, we both grunted out, “I’m cumming!” and my orgasm seemed to suspend itself on the pulses of his orgasm. I could literally feel his every drop deep within me. His orgasm finished and I immediately went to work on finishing that suspended orgasm. I felt like I had had my second but like I wasn’t done at all.

I’ve never worked harder to make something happen faster in my life!

He gently rocked his softening cock inside of me and his hands freely explored every exposed piece of flesh. The breeze brushed my nipples and the sweat in my hair made me shiver. His hands gathered up both my breasts and as I erupted into a blissful orgasm, he lowered his lips to mine and we kissed passionately as I quaked beneath him.

I sprawled out beneath him and he laid on me, putting his ear right next to my lips. Our hearts slowed, our breathing synced and his hand gently pushed my hair back away from my face. One last long kiss and an “I love you” was exchanged, before he gently rolled off of me.

I rolled onto my side and he wrapped his hand tight around me, his arm between my breasts, our bare bodies snuggled tight against one another. He kissed my shoulder, “Have a good sleep”. Next thing I knew, it was dinnertime the next day.

We Sexted!!!

I love how, even after seven years of being together, The Boyfriend can still leave my mouth gaping in shock. I love how, even after a thousand and one sexual encounters, we can still have ones that just absolutely blows my mind.

I lay down, getting ready to watch a show and then go to sleep, when The Boyfriend texts me.

“I wish you drove. You could come by at lunch for a quickie. How awesome would that be?”

And I burst out laughing at the total unexpected-ness of it. Since when does my boyfriend even consider quickies?!?

So I respond, “Where would we sneak off to?”

Next thing you know, for the first time ever in our relationship, The Boyfriend and I are sexting. Now, I’m not new to sexting, he totally is. But this particular night, I felt like he was stealing my sexting virginity more than I was stealing his.

This experience was so much not like any other that I have ever had, in regards to technology and sex (sexting, cybering, camming, etc.). I mean, first and foremost, I’ve never done any of those things with people I was in relationships with. That right there completely changed the experience for me. Half the time, all I’d ever seen of the person was what they revealed online – so again, a big change.

But I just could not get over the fact that that was my boyfriend on the other end of the phone. I knew that he would be skillful with his words, because he does enjoy writing, but I didn’t expect him to be so good with the erotic words. I didn’t think he’d be good at setting up a scene, but I was so wrong.

For the first time ever in a sexting experience, I was not the one in control of the whole thing. Normally, I’m the one describing the scene, I’m the one using the sexy words, and the other person is responding with “Mm hmm” and other filler words. Not this time. I was the filler and he was in total control, and I felt so awkward the entire time, even though I had a raging lady boner going on.

He sent me a picture. I could not believe it as I quickly and eagerly pressed download. Let this just sink in for a minute. My boyfriend, the vanilla, won’t-try-anything-because-somehow-it-is-all-morally-wrong, introverted, button-down shirt wearing guy, the one who says no to my every fantasy, sent me a picture while he was sexting with me.

Mind-fucking-blown!!!!

He carries on skillfully crafting the most amazing story of us, his office and his desk. He claims it’s a quickie, but describes an elaborate and loud scene of amazing foreplay and sex. He asks for a picture from me and I happily oblige. Things get a little hotter and I send him another picture.

My phone rings and he finishes the story and begs me to cum over the phone for him. I don’t even remember anything that was said but again, sensual voice, amazing words – it took no time at all. I begged him to get a video of him finishing up.

The next day, we both spent the entire day desperate to feel each other, but it was a busy day. He had to sleep, we had family around, lots of kids, there was hardly any chance for anything. We waited all day, exchanging glances and subtly rubbing up against one another, and by the time bedtime rolled around and the house quieted, we were both more than ready to go.

We both whipped off our pants as fast as possible. We had fifteen minutes before he had to leave for work. A quickie on the couch was almost as good as the quickie on the desk that he had described and we both came quickly, with just enough time for final cuddles and lots of kisses before he left for work.

The hardest part about these graveyards is adjusting our sex life to fit the new schedule. It’s great when he takes the time to connect with me, especially when it’s through sexting, in the middle of the night. I just love how even after all this time together, he can make me fall in love with all over again, because it’s just that little extra effort.

I understand that you can’t do all the kinky things for me, but can you at least try? And sexting is a great first step!

Finally, That Moment…

After two weeks and a period that ended up starting later than expected, I finally got to have not one, not two, but three orgasms and a whole lot of sex that I am now going to commence bragging about.

We basically knew we were going to have sex. We had gone shopping for all sorts of body cleaning supplies, we knew were all the clean clothes were and we made time to ensure that both of us took our necessary showers/baths. We could’ve and normally would’ve just showered together but it had been a bit since I had last shaved, so it was time for a really good clean up and that is something I prefer to do in a bath. So, he showered and I took a beautifully blissful bath in which I read another little hunk of Manifesta.

After my bath, we immediately went to our room. He was more than ready to go, from long before the end of my bath, so it wasn’t long before the touching and kissing and heavy breathing began. His hands took in the newly smoothed skin of my legs and I snuggled into his cleaned up face.

We decided we had forgotten to grab a few things, including the vibrator that we bought weeks ago and hadn’t used yet. I stood up before him and he came up behind me and wrapped his arms tight around me. I opened my legs to let him between them without actually penetrating and the warmth of his cock made me instantly wet. I had told him “not yet” when he tried to slide into me, which at this point is always more easy than I’d like it to be. Upon feeling how wet I actually was, I bent forward and popped back onto him suddenly.

The sound he made… I can just imagine the look that was on his face at that moment. I’ve seen it before and it’s one of my most favorite faces in the whole universe.

Just as suddenly as the moment happened, I was orgasming hard. He had to hold me up as my knees buckled beneath me and I held back any noise whatsoever, my entire body straining to contain the screaming that wanted to escape.

We literally ran to get the stuff that we had intended to get, both of us desperately wanting to be back in that moment.

I got back to the bed before him and sprawled out on the bed with my legs wide open. He came and curled up next to me, his hands exploring every fold and curve. He grabbed the vibrator and pushed it as far into me as it would go and then turned it on. It was the strangest thing I have felt in a really long time (probably since the last time I owned a vibrator) and I’m sure my face scrunched at the sensation.

He turned the vibration off and pulled and pushed on the vibrator a few times. Then, he asked me politely to take over. I reached down behind me and continued the same motions he had and experimented with the bent tip of the vibrator. He watched on in a way that I’ve craved and let his fingers explore freely.

He removed the vibrator and rolled me to my side. I stuck my rear out far to give him the best access. He playfully penetrated me and we both giggled at how wet I was. I knew when he reached his hands between my legs that there was a good chance he was going to do something to my anal area and man, do I ever know my man!

He slid a finger easily into my tight hole and I gently rocked against him trying to keep my body as relaxed as possible. I’m not all sure what exactly he was doing back there but there was a lot of different feelings going on, so that remains a mystery to me.

He moved my leg and his body just slightly and I decided I wanted, nay needed, to feel his lips on mine. I put my fingers to his lips then to my clit and he excitedly obliged. Have I ever told you how good The Boyfriend is at this?!? It really is a shame that it only happens about once a year, because I would much rather it happen everyday…

He knows just the right moves to make at exactly the right moment and he loves all the things that I love during oral. I like to have my hand in his hair, and he loves for me to be rough with his head. I like to say what I want and he loves to be given those directions. He knows exactly the right moment to switch from just tongue and teeth and lips to fingers and he knows precisely how to bring me to orgasm every single time.

And that’s exactly what he did.

It was no rest at all. My face was red, my hair was drenched in sweat and my breathing was erratic, but he was ready for more, more, more. He laid next to me on his back and pulled me on top of him. He roughly grabbed as much of my breast as he could manage and sucked hard on a large portion of it as I lowered onto him and he continued to manhandle my chest.

I leaned back on my arms and the view intrigued him and so he moved position to better see and this resulted in my laying on my back, halfway off the bed almost upside down and him coming at me vigorously from on top. My breasts were bouncing so hard that my breathing naturally matched the rate of his thrusts. He was, for lack of a better word, mesmerized by what he could see and he intensely watched the meeting of our soaking genitals.

I don’t know how he does it. If I were a penis holder, I am almost positive that I would not be able to go as long as he does. As a non-penis holder, I cannot stave off orgasm for that long. It makes sense when he slows down in between the rhythmic pounding, but when he’s going for the 20-30 minutes it takes for my third orgasm, never once slowing his pace, it seriously shocks and amazes me. I look at him like he’s some kind of superhero afterwards and like he should win an award for his performance or something.

What I’m trying to say is that it took me forever and a day to orgasm. At this point, my whole vulvular area becomes numbed, again for lack of a better word. I can still feel everything just as much as I ever did before and in some cases, more so, but nothing is nearly as sensitive as it is in the beginning, especially my clit. By the time I came, I had both hands down there working as hard as they could and when I erupted into my third orgasm it was loud.

I don’t know how he does this one either, again an award should be given and received, but just as I’m cumming he erupts too and we have this blissful moment where our hearts and genitals contract and release at the same time and it’s as if everything else fades around us. I suppose we’re normally exchanging dreamy swoony looks at the same moment, though I’m far less aware of that…

We had to move to the other end of the bed to get back to our pillows. I laid on my back, he placed his warm hand on my stomach, to ease the discomfort in my cervix, which had been thoroughly poked and prodded, and within moments we were dead to the world asleep.

All day, all either of us could say to the other was, “Oh my god, such great sex last night…”.

 

Ranting About Sleep and Blogging

I seriously need to put an end to this crazy sleep schedule The Boyfriend and I are currently on. As I write this post, it is 4 AM in the morning. I woke up at 1 PM yesterday and haven’t slept yet and at the rate we’re going, it doesn’t look like we’re going to sleep for a bit yet.

For him, it makes sense. He’s gearing up for graveyards, he’s on holidays. But me… I mean, yes, I am a total night owl but this is just not natural…

It doesn’t help that all my creative energy decides to start flowing best after 2 AM and it doesn’t help that late at night is the only time that there aren’t a bunch of kids making a bunch of noise and it definitely doesn’t help that The Boyfriend and I can so easily go on for hours and hours and hours after what should reasonably be our bedtime.

At least when I stay up late like this, it’s not like I’m just sitting around doing nothing. I’m getting tons and tons and tons done. I’m getting so much done online that it’s a little bit ridiculous. I’m checking things off my virtual to-do list before they even make it on there. And I wish I could say that it felt good, but I just keep thinking I’m forgetting something and I definitely keep thinking I should be doing more.

Then I kick myself in the ass for even beginning to think like that. I told myself I wouldn’t. It always happens this way too. I spend a lot of time on my computer stuff. The things that I absolutely need to get done on the computer, such as The Erotic Writers Group’s #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, can sometimes take me up to six hours and that happens at least twice a week, not to mention the good two hours I spend every day on it. And I haven’t even begun to factor in my own personal blogging goals, which always come secondary to the group.

So I start to think that I’m working a full-time job here, I should start figuring out how to monetize it in some way, especially being that there is so much that I still want to do and so much of it requires money. I should host a Kickstarter campaign, I should sell eBooks, I should make products and use affiliate links and… and… and…

And then I remember, that is exactly why I took my last blogging hiatus and every blogging hiatus I’ve ever taken. It’s too much pressure, too much to think about, too much on top of everything else.

One day, I’ll have a team of people who will help me fundraise and help me sell books and blah blah blah, but for today, I just need to focus on the content, focus on the community, focus on the blogging and forget about all the other stuff.

A Mundane Dose

I had gone to bed last full of plans for today (and by today, I really mean yesterday, but I haven’t slept yet, so today…) – so many plans that The Boyfriend was actually rolling his eyes at me. Then the alarm went off this morning. I decided right then and there that today was not going to be nearly as productive as I was planning for it to be.

For the first time ever, I was wrong!

It felt like time was moving by so slowly and I started getting frustrated with the fact that I hadn’t heard The Boyfriend leave to get coffees yet. I came downstairs with the initial plan to just go back to bed but ended up staying downstairs and waiting as The Boyfriend took Carter to school and then got coffees.

I played some Minecraft for awhile. This needs to be explained a little bit. When we first got Minecraft, however long ago, I was super obsessed with it. I was playing almost daily, learning how to use redstone, building metropolis’ – I mean, nothing ever got finished, but I was making some pretty awesome stuff. And then the kids and The Boyfriend all became super obsessed with it. I was able to make it through when everyone was watching tutorial videos but when they all started watching stuff about mods and these crazy creations from Minecraft YouTubers and they all started building better and cooler things than I could even come up with, I lost interest in the game.

I also have a lot of other stuff going on, so playing games like Minecraft (which is incredibly easy to waste an entire day on), is not such a great idea…

I abandoned it for quite a long time and recently, due to beacons, I started experimenting with it again. However, when I say that I played Minecraft, what I really mean is that I loaded up a map, explore it until I died and then started a new map. Normally that would be in creative and I’d build just long enough to decide that I hate the whole thing and I’ll start a new map. And it’s this constant and never-ending play a map for a few minutes, make a new one, play for a few minutes, make a new one – and that’s playing Minecraft for me right now.

So, I played Minecraft for a bit and then The Boyfriend mentioned that he had to run in to work. Part of the big plan for this weekend was to go grocery shopping. We didn’t get it done over the weekend but if he was going to work anyway, he might as well pick up some of the groceries while he was there. But then I started thinking that it would be smarter for me to go.

He’s a great shopper, don’t get me wrong. He buys all the right brands that we all like, picks out the right food and can recognize a great bargain. My only complaint is that unless specifically instructed, he shops for like two meals at a time or breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days. And I know his thinking is that he can pick up whatever we need on his next day of work, but I’m just better at the whole buying bigger quantities for less – mainly because it’s the only way I’ve ever shopped.

We went back and forth forever and eventually ended up deciding that we would go shopping. The Boyfriend had to be at work at a specific time, so we went to our first store to get the bulk of our shopping done. I told him I could do it half an hour or less and exactly half an hour later we were walking out spending $100 less than I had planned to spend! Then we went over to his work and he did what he had to get done while I picked up the rest of the groceries, and because that’s what you do when you’re shopping at Wal-Mart, I even ended up getting a few things that weren’t on my list.

It’s not that I’m really great at shopping overall. If I had to shop for anyone else but my family, I’d be screwed. But shopping for my family, I just always surprise myself at how good I can be at it sometimes. How my bad math ends up working in my favor a lot of the times and how I can be so fast and efficient and it just generally fills me with a great sense of pride. I like that feeling in mundane doses 😉

So after shopping was all done, we came home and while it took me forever and a day to get motivated to move at all, The Boyfriend and I ended up tidying up the kitchen. Now tomorrow, which I have tons of plans for, will already be one step closer to done. Finally, I made steak and fries for dinner (which was utterly delicious) and sat down with the family to watch a couple of episodes of Full House and That 70’s Show on Netflix before sending the kids off to bed.

All in all, I couldn’t have planned it any better!

 

I Fought and He Fought Back!

I wasn’t entirely expecting to get any sex last night. I mean, I was because it was a night off for him, but I wasn’t because I hate to be disappointed by his exhaustion. But when I mentioned watching porn (which we haven’t done in a really long time together), we both excitedly decided it was bedtime.

We ended up getting stuck on a couple themes when we were picking. First, I chose brunettes. I’m a brunette, I tend to feel most comfortable and therefore more aroused watching brunettes. The first video had a teacher theme. Books fell on the floor. I was offended and slightly more turned on by it. The Boyfriend and I talked extensively about that.

I spent most of the time we were watching porn with his cock in my mouth. He’d move to make it easy for me to watch and lick and I’d lazily drag my tongue all over him or rest my head on his stomach while I watched the videos. It went from teachers/students to secretaries/bosses, both things that we seem to really like the idea of. We both think it would be fun to play both roles and whenever we’re watching secretary ones, I always say that he needs to get an office of his own (one day…!).

I’m always surprised by how absolutely wet I get just from putting his cock near my mouth. It doesn’t make any sense to me, because while I definitely do enjoy the heck out of it, I don’t feel like I’m getting that aroused by it. But then, I open my legs and I’m just absolutely soaked. It makes me want to do it more and more because I love how no matter how often it happens, I’m still surprised every single time!

Although he really wanted me to be on top at some point, it never ended up happening. We both got so caught up in the moment that it didn’t even matter. When he first got on top of me, it was just our normal, regular, everyday kinda sex. My hands were in his hair, he was supporting himself with one hand as his other hand cupped my breast and he sucked on my nipples. And then I raised my hips a little bit…

He grabbed my legs and pulled me up around him and delighted in how deep he managed to get and especially in my reaction. My legs slung up around his shoulders, he pulled me hard onto him and I flinched away from the sensation of him as deep as he was. He smiled so big at that flinch and all his muscles suddenly flexed.

He bounced my legs up until my thighs were resting on his arms and grabbed my arms and pinned them down to the bed as he thrust himself so deep into me that I immediately began fighting against him. But he just re-positioned his grip and slammed into me again. I kicked out my legs, I thrashed my arms, I pushed against him as hard as I could and while I succeeded in pushing him back, he was quickly back on top of me, holding down my arms and kissing me as hard as he could. I fought and he fought back.

My hand felt his hair and that was it, I was defeated. I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my fingers into his hair, wrapping my legs completely around him and kissing him frantically. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer and closer into him until he was sitting back on his feet and gently rocking beneath me.

He lowered me back down to the bed and watched my breasts bounce as he casually pounded me. Something about this always really turns me on. I mean, first of all, as a girl who used to have really small boobs that I was deeply self-concious about to now having fair size, pretty darn sexy boobs, I love watching my breasts bounce. They didn’t used to do that! Then, when he gets that look on his face, like he’s now in his mode and he’s got the hang of this and he’s feeling all confident and his ego (among other things) has been stroked – I just love that look on him. I think to myself that I had a part in that face.

I came quickly and he knew I wasn’t going to be ready to stop, so he kept on going. We were going to change positions, but he could tell that I was already close to a second orgasm and he was ready for his at any time, so we just kept going. It took longer than we were both expecting and I was covered in sweat by the time we got there, but I said “I’m cumming” and he was right along behind me. I wrapped my legs and arms around him in the heat of it and we laid there for a few minutes completely consumed and engulfed in each other.

It took mere seconds to fall asleep after that…

 

Drained…

The last few days have not been very good. I’m blaming it on PMS, because I can and because it’s the only reason I can think that just suddenly, out-of-nowhere, I’m hit with this utterly drained of life feeling.

I woke up one day, just not feeling like myself. I was feeling pretty down about everything and tears kept coming to my eyes over the stupidest little things. I was getting easily upset by the little things that the kids were doing and just being so moody. And then, it just seemed to get worse.

That was about three days ago and I just can’t shake this drained type of feeling. I can’t say what particular emotion it is exactly, because it doesn’t really feel like one. I feel like I’m really old. My body has been hurting a lot and I know that it’s because my brain is hurting somewhere.

I don’t know where it spurred from, but I just started looking at all the areas of my life in which I feel like I’m failing. And it seems like every few months, this list grows exponentially. And then I get incredibly overwhelmed by the list and this whole thing happens.

I’ve been experimenting with things that will rid me of this feeling. First and foremost, decluttering my online space. This probably attributed to the beginning of the downward spiral but ultimately, I think it will beneficial. The last time I tried to declutter my online space, I basically gave up and left a lot of loose ends all over the place. I had been defeated. This time, I’m determined not to be defeated.

In some cases, this means trying to clear up stuff on the web from over five years ago and I can hardly remember yesterday. It’s been a frustrating experience to say the least, although the more I get done, the better it feels. However, until it’s done, I just can’t seem to focus on anything.

So, that’s where I’m at. Unable to hold my focus, feeling sore, feeling old, and just a little worn out…

 

What is with guys and anal sex?!?

I’ll never understand it. I know that it’s mostly because I don’t have a penis and can’t know the difference in sensations between anal and vaginal penetration. But I just can’t wrap my brain around it.

I could understand if I had a really hot ass, but I don’t. I’m not saying it’s not a hot ass, but I wouldn’t look at it and immediately think, “Oh, that’s fuckable!”. It’s the one area of my body that is just kinda super meh. Pre-fourth kid it was a really great ass, now it just desires to be.

But this doesn’t seem to matter and never has.

I have never ever been with a guy who isn’t utterly obsessed with the idea of anal. My first boyfriend, who was literally my first everything, was very interested in it. However, when we discovered that it hurt me, we both became more interested in anal penetration for him. My second boyfriend, and the father of my older three kids, could not get enough of the idea of it. We tried many, many times but I was always in the wrong headspace for it, so it always ended up hurting really bad. However, this didn’t stop him from trying at all.

Finally, The Boyfriend… He was the first one to have successful anal. Our first anal session still goes down to this day as one our most memorable sexperiences together. And since that first time, there has been about four more successful sessions. That being said, there’s been quite a few more failed attempts.

I had wanted to be an anal whore pretty badly as I emerged sexually. The very first porn I ever watched was titled something like “Anal Exploration” and I desperately wanted to do “that“. But anal is just one of those ones that I like thinking about more than I like doing. No matter how often I try, no matter what we do to change it, more often than not, I don’t enjoy anal sex.

I’ve always been the girl that wants to fulfill his every fantasy, so I pride myself on being incredibly open to sexplorations. I’m also the girl who receives a great deal of pleasure from my partner’s pleasure. I will do a lot of things that I don’t necessarily enjoy simply because he does. Anal sex is one of those things. For some reason, guys really seem to get off on anal sex. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, I don’t understand – I just know that they do.

I know that they do, because no matter how many times we’re all hot and heavy and he goes for anal and I turn him down and the hot and heavy cools off to a chilling degree, no matter how many times that scenario plays out, he still tries like he was never denied.

Honestly, I can’t say I hate the persistence. But seriously, what is with guys and anal sex?!?