The Cleaning Never Ends

I’ve been having this problem for days now. Everyday when I wake up, the first thing I do is open my computer. Facebook, Twitter, FetLife and Google+ get opened first and sometimes this can take a little bit. I try not to get stuck on any one of them but instead try to hop back and forth between them. If I focus for too long, I start thinking too much.

Then I pop open WordPress and check through the stats on my blog(s). I check and see which posts, if any, are doing really good. I respond to any comments and then I often go to write. Usually, I just write and write and write until I feel content and then I hit publish without much thought. If I were writing this for you, dear reader, I might edit or spend more time on it. But I’m writing this for me, so… My standards are pretty low 😉

However, lately (I’m blaming it on my graveyard brain still), I just can’t seem to write anything that makes much sense. It all just reads back like gibberish to me…

https://plus.google.com/+ValerieRayne13/posts/DUAe8ef8i9y

We’ve been doing a lot of cleaning this week. Maybe even longer. It’s gotta be the warmer weather or something, but it is being just about the most challenging thing ever. I cannot get over how much time I’ve spent cleaning, how much effort everyone seems to be putting in, and how little of a change it seems to make.

It would all make more sense if we moved around the house more. But, we really don’t. I have my spot on the couch and a little table beside me. The Boyfriend sits right next to me and Carter normally right next to him. The older kids either sit on the floor or on the other couch. When they move, the only places they go are outside or up to their rooms. So, what I want to know, is how, if no one is spending time in the kitchen, how my kitchen always ends up as the messiest place in the house.

It would even make sense if we were cooking dinner in our kitchen on a regular basis, but recently, we’ve been ordering out a lot. We’ve been getting things you pop into the oven without any dishes. We’ve not been using our kitchen enough for it to make sense for there to be the mess that seems to be there everytime I wake up… It’s like destructive toddler elves are sneaking into our house while we sleep…

I am honestly so jealous of people with clean houses. I wish it were for lack of effort, because at least when it was that, I didn’t feel so terribly about the messes. But now, working my butt off day after day to keep some semblance of tidiness, and having it all be for naught, I just feel utterly ashamed of it. I don’t know how anyone ever has done this at any point of time… And I am so jealous of the people who can.

All that being said, I know from experience that the only way to get through it all is to just keep cleaning and just keep smiling. I’m doing everything in my power to ensure that I don’t let the constant repetitiveness get me down, because if I don’t keep on the messes, I’m terrified to find out what I’ll wake up to next!!! Plus, I know that eventually it will pass and it won’t seem so hard for at least a little while.

I’m going to say it’s weather-related and it’s the adjusting to a new season. Once we’re fully into Spring, it’ll be fine and then when we transition into Summer, it’ll get a little out of control again and then it’ll be fine. That thought brings me a great deal of comfort.

Well, I know that there’s tons more to write about but my brain is now officially on cleaning, so I might as well get up and start that before I have to go get all the brats from school. Hoping the sunshine sticks around for my walk.

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This Has Never Happened…

With The Boyfriend on graveyards and the older three kids gone to their Dad’s, we’ve been doing a lot of lazing and vegetating. For the most part, I’ve been playing The Sims 4 and listening to a lot of music.

A new expansion came out for The Sims 4, which I went crazy tweeting and Instagram-ing about, because I was incredibly excited.

View this post on Instagram

It's happening!! #TheSims4 #TS4 #Get2Work

A post shared by Valerie Rayne (@valerierayne) on

They’ve finally added some things that I’ve personally never gotten to play before. I’m relatively new to The Sims franchise for PC, and have really only had a lot of experience for consoles. So I’m getting to try my hand at a lot of things that I’ve always wanted to try in The Sims – like going to work with my sim or running a business of my own.

I even added a place of my own to The Gallery, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. I’m working on writing up a more detailed piece on that over here.

And music…

Recently, Grooveshark updated their entire site. I’ve been using Grooveshark for quite awhile and I don’t remember how I found it or why I chose it over all the other options, but with this recent update and where it looks like it’s going, I’m glad I use it. So, I’ve been going around updating all my stuff there and this has resulted in a lot of listening.

From the two eclectic pieces that I’ve shared on Google+:

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/47Gdy5vBX6z

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ValerieRayne13/posts/1cHvhgujb59

And the new playlists that I’ve started working on (here and here) and my favorites. I’ve just been listening and adding and creating and editing like crazy on Grooveshark.

Tomorrow the kids finally come home. I keep saying that it’s a good thing too, because maybe it will finally be quiet around here. Carter has been so talkative since they’ve been gone that it’s rarely quiet. And when he’s not talking, he’s beatboxing. And while I love both of those things greatly, it gets tired after 8 hours straight…

Then, we get to go for Easter Dinner tomorrow night and see some people we haven’t seen in years and finally, I get to see my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I only get to see them about once a year, so it’s always a pretty big deal.

Honestly, this last week and this upcoming week are probably going to end up being my favorite two weeks of this year. Lots of goodness happening, lots of lack of stress, I feel pretty darn content.

This has never happened…

This is my brain on graveyards…

On one hand, adjusting to graveyards has been exceptionally easy. It fits mine and The Boyfriend’s sleep schedule better, it works out for the way we typically manage to spend our days anyways, and on many levels it just seems to fit.

However, on the other hand, I’ve done a lot of staring. I’ve done a lot of mind-numbing type activities. I’ve done a lot of not thinking. And I’ve been avoiding doing anything that involves using my brain – unless you count shooting random people on GTA or making the same dish over and over in some random online game.

A huge portion of my days are spent sleeping. Then almost as soon as I wake up, it’s Netflix. I spend the rest of the night with Netflix on in the background and I’m playing games on my computer – namely Hotel Giant 2, The Sims 4 and Youda Sushi Chef 2. I hate that I’m doing it the entire time that I’m doing it, but I just don’t have the capacity to do anything else.

I figure this is just part of the adjustment to graveyards and that soon, The Boyfriend and I will figure out exactly how the new routine will work so that I can get back to all my stuff. Because I have been absolutely neglecting everything. It started with just computer-related stuff and I was still keeping up with stuff like Twitter and Facebook, which I check from my phone. But now, it’s nothing. I just don’t even consider it. And my brain just doesn’t go there.

It’s also been two weeks now since I last got laid, so that may be part of my lack of anything productive. I’ve always said that after three days, I tend to get really bitchy. I haven’t gotten bitchy yet and oddly enough, I haven’t even really been all that crazy for sex (which is just so unlike me…). Again, I’m blaming it on graveyards.

Yet another excuse (haha!), our crappy crappy Alberta weather. Have I ever told you how much I absolutely hate it?!?

We went through first winter and it was a relatively decent winter. Then, we went through second winter (which is a normal and usual occurrence), and it was a little rougher than first winter. Then, we were breaking into spring. Still cold but the snow was beginning to melt and all Albertans took their annual sigh of relief. Then, suddenly and without any warning, we were struck with third winter. We hate third winter more than any of the other winters, because it utterly robs you of any hope you had of visiting the beach that year!

So, just as we are all completely robbed of hope and utterly destroyed, suddenly and swiftly, we have a day that rivals the best summer days available in this dreary city. The ice cream truck made it’s first trip of the year down our street – though it was only recognized by one of our children, even though three of them were outside (oddity). Today, we awoke to gray skies and brisk wind bustling the leaves that have yet to turn green.

Crappy, crappy Alberta weather. It’s unpredictable, it’s unsatisfying, it’s unhealthy…

I keep telling everyone I want to move to Denmark. It’s one of the highest ranked countries for happiness, it sounds like a place that I would love, and I read the other day that the average highs are around seventeen degree celsius and lows are around one degree. And that they have lots of rain – and rain is my favorite weather! No one except for me is down to move to Denmark and so I dream…

The Last Week…

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last wrote… It’s not for lack of things to write about or even a lack of desire to write about them, I just haven’t had a chance to get on my computer at all this last week. And then when I have had the chance, it’s the very last thing I’ve wanted to do.

This last week has been incredibly stressful. First, The Boyfriend went back to work after having a week off and he’s officially back on graveyards. I cannot tell you how mixed my emotions surrounding this have been. Then, we had our bi-annual inspection today and that always brings me more stress than is necessary.

I’ve spent the last week in a total and exhausting funk. And we knew that it was going to happen, as it almost always does during inspection time, and I warned The Boyfriend ahead of time. Unfortunately, the first week back on graveyards is always all consuming and so there was a definite feeling of lacking support this week that just made everything so much worse than usual.

Kaeidyn and I were trading off the stress about the inspection for the entire week. One minute I’d be all worked up and then just as I’d start to calm, she’d get all worked up and we just kept going back and forth like that constantly.

Our house got incredibly cleaned, which is the good thing out of all of it. Our floor finally got the mopping it was desperately craving, the snow melted enough that we were able to clean up most of the yard and we’ve decided that eventually we’re doing a big dump of all the clothes that we’ve managed to amass in our basement – most of which have been in the basement for months…

I was so upset last night. I was up late finishing up the last little bits of cleaning before inspection day and all of a sudden I hear a sound. Next thing I know, Kenzie’s puking all over all the cleaning I had just finished. Today, all the boys had upset stomachs and headaches. I hate when they all get sick all at once, because it’s always that much more overwhelming. Although it’s nice that it’s over and done with quicker.

I’ve been neglecting all my computer-related stuff for the last week and haven’t even checked in on most of it, other than the notifications I get on my phone. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and I’ve decided that I really want to change my blog theme and update it a little and stuff. I feel like it needs it or something. But I imagine it will take a few days before I make an official decision and then it will take a week or two to get it all changed and set up the way I like. But I’m thinking about it…

I’ve also been spending some time reading through my blogs from four or five years ago and it’s giving me some ideas for posts in the future and some other stuff, so I imagine that’s going to be an interesting little thing to explore as I get re-acquainted with my computer, now that my funk can be over for a little bit now.

A Mundane Dose

I had gone to bed last full of plans for today (and by today, I really mean yesterday, but I haven’t slept yet, so today…) – so many plans that The Boyfriend was actually rolling his eyes at me. Then the alarm went off this morning. I decided right then and there that today was not going to be nearly as productive as I was planning for it to be.

For the first time ever, I was wrong!

It felt like time was moving by so slowly and I started getting frustrated with the fact that I hadn’t heard The Boyfriend leave to get coffees yet. I came downstairs with the initial plan to just go back to bed but ended up staying downstairs and waiting as The Boyfriend took Carter to school and then got coffees.

I played some Minecraft for awhile. This needs to be explained a little bit. When we first got Minecraft, however long ago, I was super obsessed with it. I was playing almost daily, learning how to use redstone, building metropolis’ – I mean, nothing ever got finished, but I was making some pretty awesome stuff. And then the kids and The Boyfriend all became super obsessed with it. I was able to make it through when everyone was watching tutorial videos but when they all started watching stuff about mods and these crazy creations from Minecraft YouTubers and they all started building better and cooler things than I could even come up with, I lost interest in the game.

I also have a lot of other stuff going on, so playing games like Minecraft (which is incredibly easy to waste an entire day on), is not such a great idea…

I abandoned it for quite a long time and recently, due to beacons, I started experimenting with it again. However, when I say that I played Minecraft, what I really mean is that I loaded up a map, explore it until I died and then started a new map. Normally that would be in creative and I’d build just long enough to decide that I hate the whole thing and I’ll start a new map. And it’s this constant and never-ending play a map for a few minutes, make a new one, play for a few minutes, make a new one – and that’s playing Minecraft for me right now.

So, I played Minecraft for a bit and then The Boyfriend mentioned that he had to run in to work. Part of the big plan for this weekend was to go grocery shopping. We didn’t get it done over the weekend but if he was going to work anyway, he might as well pick up some of the groceries while he was there. But then I started thinking that it would be smarter for me to go.

He’s a great shopper, don’t get me wrong. He buys all the right brands that we all like, picks out the right food and can recognize a great bargain. My only complaint is that unless specifically instructed, he shops for like two meals at a time or breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days. And I know his thinking is that he can pick up whatever we need on his next day of work, but I’m just better at the whole buying bigger quantities for less – mainly because it’s the only way I’ve ever shopped.

We went back and forth forever and eventually ended up deciding that we would go shopping. The Boyfriend had to be at work at a specific time, so we went to our first store to get the bulk of our shopping done. I told him I could do it half an hour or less and exactly half an hour later we were walking out spending $100 less than I had planned to spend! Then we went over to his work and he did what he had to get done while I picked up the rest of the groceries, and because that’s what you do when you’re shopping at Wal-Mart, I even ended up getting a few things that weren’t on my list.

It’s not that I’m really great at shopping overall. If I had to shop for anyone else but my family, I’d be screwed. But shopping for my family, I just always surprise myself at how good I can be at it sometimes. How my bad math ends up working in my favor a lot of the times and how I can be so fast and efficient and it just generally fills me with a great sense of pride. I like that feeling in mundane doses 😉

So after shopping was all done, we came home and while it took me forever and a day to get motivated to move at all, The Boyfriend and I ended up tidying up the kitchen. Now tomorrow, which I have tons of plans for, will already be one step closer to done. Finally, I made steak and fries for dinner (which was utterly delicious) and sat down with the family to watch a couple of episodes of Full House and That 70’s Show on Netflix before sending the kids off to bed.

All in all, I couldn’t have planned it any better!

 

Been Awhile, I Know…

I didn’t mean to stay away so long. It’s just that a whole lot of nothing has been happening around here lately. I’ve been hard at work on website stuff and creating and deleting maps on Minecraft. The kids have had a ton of days off school, so they’ve mostly been gaming it up. And The Boyfriend has been working a lot of “late shifts”, so there’s been lots of late nights and late afternoons…

We’ve all been working our butts off to keep a cleaner house. I think it’s part of impending spring weather that’s got us all busying ourselves with tidying. And while we spend at least an hour a day doing something towards keeping the house clean, it just seems to get so messy so fast. It’s absolutely depressing.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well, cleaning my house is the equivalent of absolutely off-the-rocker insanity. I’ve never seen the kids work so hard to clean up after themselves and while I’m sure that you can tell as an observer, but as the ones living it, it just seems like we’re getting nowhere. Just as one area is clean and you move onto the next, that first area is now destroyed and you know in mere moments the next will be the same.

I know that I’m not alone in my plight and I’ve heard from other Mom’s with four kids that it’s a near impossibility to keep it really clean and I’m obviously okay with that. But I do seriously wish that it was all a little bit more manageable. One day, I’ll have a maid or a troop of maids, and then I won’t have to worry about it. For now, I’ll just rant…

Other than that, not too much has been going on around here. I kinda like it that way 😉

Time for the Neglect to End!

I have been neglecting The Erotic Writers Group and our #WritingChallenges for two weeks now. I hate it and I’m ready for the neglect to end!

I’m blaming it on a few different things. First, the massive amount of graveyard shifts The Boyfriend has been working lately. I think he’s up to four so far. I guess it’s part of preparing him for full-time graveyards or something, since he’ll be going to that sometime near his birthday. I cannot tell you how unhappy I am about it and yet, how happy I am for him about it.

I know he really liked working graveyards. He also seemed to be able to progress through the ranks faster when he was working graveyards, whereas on days, he’s been stuck for a really long time. I know that for him, graveyards is a better deal. So, I’m happy for him but I’m dreading the whole graveyard thing…

It screws with my sleep so much. I stay up later on nights before he works, getting ready for the shift with him. I sleep later because as long as he’s still in bed, I stay in bed. I need to get to a place where I can just carry on as if he’s not working graveyards… Maybe that will come after the first 3 months or so…

I’ve also been busy offline, trying to keep the house clean. It is not being an easy task at all. Now that we’re cleaning more often it seems like the house is getting dirtier so much faster. It’s truly exhausting and I have officially decided that when I win the lottery (after I start playing), my first mission is to get a housemaid, because I’d like to retire from the duty of cleaning altogether.

I made the boys cleaning out the toy box yesterday and you cannot believe how much that seemed to cheer me up. Getting rid of all the broken and mismatched toys was just about the best thing ever. However, now they’ve discovered toys they haven’t seen in months from the bottom of the toybox and so toys are strewn everywhere right now. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s one of those ones that you end up being grateful for.

So, my goal this weekend is to get back to our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters, complete a project that I’ve been working on for about a week (and that I’m keeping mum about it until it’s done) and keep my living room clean for the whole weekend! Plus, I’ve got dinner down at my Mom’s, where I plan to play guitar for at least 2 hours. So, YAY for the weekend!!

Anyone got any big plans for Valentine’s Day?

Last Two Days

I’ve been slacking so hard the last two days, just barely completing any of my absolutely-must-get-done to-do’s. And not for any good reasons like illness or whatnot, but mostly because of Netflix. One night, I spent the entire night watching the entire second season of #TheFall.

I’ve been getting the stuff done, but I’ve been rushing through it and leaving it to the last minute and I’ve even neglected to update a few things, mostly on purpose. I’m trying my hardest to avoid the dreaded burnout that I’m sure is bound to hit when it’s most inconvenient.

The next day, I spent almost all day reading and downloading stuff all over the place. I’m doing a lot of things that I was planning on not doing this year in my blogging life – just getting distracted on it all.

It probably doesn’t help much that the kids have all been begging for attention. The second The Boyfriend leaves his spot on the couch, they’re all fighting to sit on me and around me. And everyone wants to tell stories that go on endlessly. They are a constant barrage of noise.

Kaeidyn has gotten into the habit of trying to be sarcastic, except most of the time it just comes out sounding like she’s being a total douche. More than once she’s gotten in trouble for what she considered innocent bantering because the parents thought it sounded beyond rude.

Keirnan has been instigating all sorts of trouble lately. He’s always been really good at sneaking. He’s a quiet little dude and he knows it. Half the time, you’re screaming at one kid for something, just to find out that Keirnan was the one behind it all. Tonight as the boys are going to bed, Kenzie keeps laughing and the parents are getting mad at Kenzie. Go upstairs and watch for a few seconds, turns out Keirnan is sitting there tickling Kenzie.

Carter has been a neverending ball of energy ever since he got his stitches. He wakes up in the morning and he’s talking away and running all over the house. We’ve been walking to and from school together for months now and normally it’s a pretty silent walk save for the few times I tell him to hurry up. If I ask him questions, he’ll normally just not answer or will do something like, “Fine”. Lately, it’s been non-stop talking the whole way home.

The Boyfriend was recently asked if he’d go back on graveyard. It’s been a few years since he was permanently on it and has been doing about one or two nights every couple of months pretty much ever since leaving nights. They’ve told him that they want him to move up to the “next level” but he needs to do a year on nights first.

I don’t want to say no to him, but I don’t want to say yes either. I hate the idea of him going back on nights so much but not for any good reasons. Maybe I need to read back through some of the blogs from that time period, because I remember not liking it while he was doing it.

We haven’t really sat down to have a discussion about it, because there is still quite awhile to decide. They knew that he would want to talk to me about it before making a decision, so they asked quite awhile in advance. Thank goodness too, because I would not have to make that decision lightly.

So, that’s been my last two days in a nutshell. How has yours been?

It’s Slowing Down…

I knew that my streak of productive days would come to a crashing halt eventually. It lasted longer than I expected it to and it’s not even that I’m not being as productive, it’s just not being as focused on being productive.

I missed a post this week. I didn’t realize it until the next day. I have all these reminders set all over the place and somehow I ended up missing this one entirely. It was the first sign that something was up, because I hadn’t needed any of the reminders I had set up until right then!

Then, I cleaned the house. The kids and I worked for at least 2 hours on cleaning. Since no one could agree on what they wanted to do for jobs, we drew them from a hat and each kid got a specific job. That resulted in a lot of tears and the whole time Keirnan cleaned up the small mess in the bathroom, he whined and whined. All in all, they did a really great job. One thing that I’m noticing about keeping my house cleaner is that it seems like it gets dirtier so much faster.

I decided today to start clearing up my browser. I use Chrome and lately all my bookmarks and extensions are becoming a terrible mess. At some point, I had two different accounts connected and it’s got stuff from both accounts and it’s just a confusing jumble of stuff. I have my most used stuff out front and center, but there is a whole host of disorganization upon further inspection.

However, clearing up my browser and making it so that it’s all pretty and organized turned into a traumatic experience that I am quickly trying to forget, because it just makes me want to throw my hands up. I discovered accounts I had forgotten that I had and emails that I no longer know the passwords to and just ugh… Darn me for having so many fleeting interests over the years!

I also spoilt myself a little with some game stuff. I bought the new “game pack” for The Sims 4 and although I played for a couple hours earlier today, never actually got around to trying it out. Then, got some other game points and bought myself Hotel Giant 2, which I have been wasting a large amount of time on, as I knew I would when I bought it. I figure the kids and The Boyfriend have been gaming it up a lot lately, I might as well join that.

Other than that, this past week has been mostly boring. I’ve felt like I’m lagging a lot. My sleep feels like it’s all out of whack, even though I can’t figure out how exactly. I’m hoping that as it turns into spring and the sun starts setting and rising at a normal hour that my sleep will start to straighten out a little bit. Too much longer of this and I think it’s going to start seriously affecting my mood.

Phew!

I have been having a fairly productive week. Even my house is cleaner than it normally is by a Thursday and I am all caught up on what was an insanely long to-do list, at least for a day or two. It’s been pretty nice!

On Monday, my brother, who I haven’t seen for some time, came back into town. He is doing splendidly living out in BC and it’s been great getting to spend some time with him. The only thing that would make it even better is if I got to spend some time with my sister too! It’s been really nice having him around, I missed him so much.

I’ve been working really hard on The Erotic Writers Group stuff and have managed to publish three blog posts and keep up on all our #WritingChallenges for #EroticWriters and generally, I’m getting tons done where that is concerned. I’m feeling really good about that. I was so worried that I wouldn’t get anything done when I said I would and that I would be so bogged down by it all that I wouldn’t want to do it. But, I’ve actually been surprising myself frequently with my dedication and motivation right now.

The Boyfriend went back to work today after a great three days off. He has a couple overnight shifts this week too which should be interesting. He used to work graveyards all the time and it was the worst thing in the world. I absolutely hated him working graveyards, specifically because of the kids, but also because I used to sketch out really bad at night.

He quit graveyards sometime after Carter was born, after I basically told him, “You quit or we’re done”. Then, when he got promoted, it was part of the promotion that every couple of months he has to do a couple nights of graveyards. I always forget how much I hated it until the day before it happens, and then I remember how nervous being alone at night makes me. Don’t even know why for sure, it just does. But, he loves the graveyards, so I guess it all works out 😉

Tonight, I plan on vegging on Netflix for the night. I’ve got so many shows underway right now, plus they’re bringing out tons of new stuff that I really want to see, so I gotta get down to watching and removing stuff from my list. I’ve got 2 seasons left of Nip/Tuck, probably 8 or so of Grey’s Anatomy (both shows that I never watched on TV). They just added the 3rd season of Call the Midwife, which I’m watching with Kaeidyn. Then The Boyfriend and I are currently working our way through House and The X-Files. I’m absolutely looking forward to new seasons of Orange is the New Black and The Fall and that doesn’t even take into consideration the 30 or so movies I have saved and the massive amount of documentaries I’m holding onto.

There just isn’t enough time at all for everything!