That Particular Ex

I had an incredibly rough weekend that ended up being much more emotional than it should’ve been. I seriously have to give the biggest props to The Boyfriend for knowing just exactly how to support me without me once needing to ask for a single thing. He was clingy and cuddly at the perfect moments and gave me my space exactly when I needed it. I am incredibly lucky.

It started at my Mom’s. We had been asked to help my cousin move, so Mom volunteered to take the kids for the night. The Boyfriend had worked the night before and worked his butt off moving everything and we were both pretty exhausted by the time we got back to Mom’s at about nine.

Carter suddenly decided he wanted to come home. Originally, The Boyfriend and I were okay with him coming home. But then Mom wanted him to stay. Of course, by this point she had already started drinking, and instead of being nice to us about him staying, she snapped that we weren’t allowed to take him home and that he was staying with Grandma tonight. Now, I know that she meant it playfully and I know that she wasn’t trying to be rude, but my exhausted brain and The Boyfriend’s exhausted brain took it all as horribly offensive.

Just as we convinced Carter to stay, she threw up her hands and said “Whatever, take him home!” and the whole drama-for-no-reason just hit me. We made Carter stay, because he decided he was good, and when we left, I broke down in tears. It took me a bit to realize why I cried as hard as I did…

We got home and The Boyfriend and I enjoyed some quiet time together. It was honestly a seriously beautiful night and around midnight, we headed up to our room and commenced an intense blowjob session. Sleeping came easy.

Three hours later, our doorbell rung. It was Alfie. He had come into town for a night rather suddenly. He kept saying that it was because he missed the kids and wanted to see the kids. About an hour and a half into his early morning visit, I get a message from an ex-girlfriend of his asking where he is. Turns out, he’s not actually here to see the kids. He’s here to get a booty call from his ex but his phone died and so he didn’t have her address. So instead of going anywhere else or figuring anything else out, he came here.

I’ve been prepared for Alfie to start hooking up with other people for quite a long time now and I’ve been curious about how I might react. With Alfie, I was incredibly jealous and very possessive, although not entirely for the wrong reasons being that he was unfaithful… But I never in a million years thought that he would get back together, in anyway, with this particular ex.

This particular ex is tied pretty closely to our relationship. He broke up with me twice to be able to get into this girls pants. Each time they dated for less than two weeks and each time, he came crawling back to me. Each time, I was stupid enough to take him back. Everytime he came back to me, she’d start calling me constantly, threatening to beat me up, as soon as I wasn’t pregnant…

Alfie and I always had a “thing”. Well really, we had a lot of “things”. But one of our most notable “things” was roses. When we first started dating, he said something along the lines of, “Of all the flowers in the garden, you are the sweetest rose”, and that was it, roses became “our thing”.

After every stay in the hospital, after every fight and after every child, even when he proposed, I got 13 red roses. And every rose I ever received had it’s petals carefully picked after dying and stayed stored in a bag our entire relationship. For one of our anniversaries, he got me a silver rose that was engraved. It was a big deal.

When Alfie and his ex hooked up the second time, he gave her my rose…

This particular ex left a seriously sour taste in my mouth and after Alfie and I broke up the final time, she decided she was over Alfie and tried to become my friend. It’s been a rather unsuccessful journey for us, though I have babysat her kids and we are Facebook friends. We agreed, her and I, that Alfie would be off limits to us both from now on. Alfie agreed that she would be off limits.

I mean, I wrote my best and most saddest song about this particular ex…

So, to not only catch him trying to hook up with her, but also to get the information straight from her before him, seriously broke my heart. I spent an entire day and a half in a deep, dark funk. The amount of disrespect I feel he has for me is just so intense to me.

He tried to compare it to The Boyfriend and I, because The Boyfriend used to be his friend. That’s how I met The Boyfriend, through Alfie. And Alfie had always feared that The Boyfriend and I would get together. It was his worst nightmare coming true. However, before anything even began to happen between The Boyfriend and I, before we even began flirting with each other, I went to Alfie (even though I didn’t have to, he had broken up with me) and asked him how he would feel if The Boyfriend and I hooked up or started dating. I asked him for permission to make any advancements with The Boyfriend and he said yes.

I have outright said no, and I’ve asked so freaking nicely.

He made it sound like he understood and like he wasn’t going to do anything. But then she called… She called my phone… He said that he couldn’t come over just yet because he was planning on taking the kids to breakfast. I went and got the kids early from Grandma’s so that they could spend the day with their Dad. Turns out, it was only breakfast. The moment that was done, he was off to her. Except he couldn’t remember her address, so after leaving for an hour, he was back on my doorstep asking if he could use my phone to message her. Like a sucker, I let him…

We are so civil to each other when we’re around one another. It feels like we’ve both moved on and away from hatred and bitterness. But his actions this weekend feel like utter contempt for me. And I have to wonder what the hell I ever did to him to make him hate me so much? To make him disrespect me so blatantly?

I’m more or less over the whole thing now, assuming it was just a booty call and doesn’t become a relationship – because that, I don’t think I can deal with at all. Mainly because I can’t stand the concept of that particular ex being my baby’s step-mom. I actually already know that will have negative effects on absolutely everyone, and most especially him.

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